Necrophobia

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Recently (about two weeks ago), I came down completely off my antidepressants (citalopram). I've found that I am starting to get profound attacks of anxiety about death. These had mostly occurred while I was trying to get to sleep, although I got them later today's afternoon. Why the f***ing hell can't I be immortal? Biologically speaking. There is no afterlife, no reincarnation, only oblivion. What right does that f***ing b*****d Death have to me? I am unique, and that uniqueness will be gone when I die.

IT IS NOT F***ING FAIR!! !

Maybe this is an issue of control, I dunno. I may have (unfortunately) inherited my control freak tendencies from my sh**head of a father, and death I cannot control, unless I take my own life. And knowing there is nothing but oblivion on the other side of the veil, that option is of course closed to me.

Maybe I should go into cybernetics or nanotech, and find immortality that way. I once even considered holding the world to ransom, and they would not be let off until they found immortality, and if I died, kablooey goes the world. However, I merely turned this into a story idea as of course, that is perhaps an impossible thing to do.

But there is one thing I need, then the rest of my happiness will follow.

I NEED IMMORTALITY!! !! !!

Not memetic immortality, or the lies offered by religion. Give me proof that God or reincarnation exists, solid, even remotely testable proof, and I will be mollified. But as Nietzche said, God is dead, and I will be all too soon. I am 23. I may have 50 years, or 70 years left. But that is too f***ing little!! !

I want centuries!! !

Millennia!! !

Millions of years!! !

And anyone who says that death is needed for genetic survival of the species, or to avoid overpopulation, can stuff it into an inconvenient and painful orifice. It may be necessary for the species, but from the individual, it can be a real bit**! !!

Rant over, for the moment....

uhh...your not bipolar are you?

also, tone down.

adn relax, 50 years from now, you wont be thinking this way anymore. and 70 years from now you may be waiting to die like most people that age.


if youd be immortal, everyone you know would die, over and over and over. you cant have a life partner as you cant age. you dont want to live forever.

death is inevitable, but its only in the future, why would that effect you now? live now, die later

I don't think I'm bipolar. I was diagnosed as having Asperger's Syndrome by Tony Attwood. I'm sure he would have told me this.

I don't want to tone down, as this is a very strong subject for me.

50 years? 70 years? Feh.

Everyone I know would die? Not have a partner? Fine by me. It may sound selfish, and maybe I am, but as far as I am concerned, I probably wouldn't care, for they're not Me. I am Me. No-one else.

Try walking a mile in someone's shoes without hurting your feet...

The certainty of death is the only thing I can think of in this world that's entirely fair.

And I can't understand people who demand physical evidence for a nonphysical entity.

Are you having such a great time that you can't stand to leave the party?

Assuming you are correct, is oblivion uncomfortable being oblivion?

Hoofprints in the muffling snow
Silent snow, eternal snow
I will sleep forever in snow.

Coyote song rejoices over bloody bones
Transformed, I will be happy.

Unravel then these coiled molecules
Scatter them far as coyote s**t
Let me rest.

Who wrote the poem CanyonWind? It's beautiful.

uhhh... I did.

Thanks

Quatermass, I love you for our different opinions on gun laws. This one is for you:


"Here rests a man, who was very afraid of Death.
Life, however, should have taught him the opposite.


Where our dear dead ones stay,
comfort and peculiar peace
in the evening twilight
shine upon our destinies.

Where our dear dead ones stay,
a peaceful day, in peaceful faith
high above life's misery
I rose my heart to a higher destiny.


Vanitas vanitatum!
A life, a cross, a datum."

Nils Ferlin

That seems to be about right.
Where did the odd idea about fairness come from?



Come on, it can't be that difficult. I haven't heard of many people being so bad at dying that they got it completely wrong.
Elijah and Enoch, if you believe the bible. A Catholic Pope added Mary, mother of Jesus, and Moslems don't allow that but have added Jesus.

"You can say to the universe this is not fair. And the universe would say: Oh, isn't it? Sorry." -Terry Pratchett.
Get over it. If you're not, you will manage to make something out of the time you've got. There's a life before death.

The human body and brain are made to be able to survive for billions of years, however, for whatever reason, genetics, the original sin, or whatever, we just can't.
If you calm down, perhaps you can spend your life trying to solve that problem and take matters into your own hand instead of complaining about that everyone else who have ever tried to do something about it has failed.

Last edited by ion on 29 Sep 2006, 12:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Something cant come out of nothing...something cant become nothing...equivalent exchange you stay for eternity in your present incarnation...you will become...something else....nothing does not change..."this to shall pass"....read up on Zen....it is not a religion,it is a philosophy of perceiving reality
You can not change "reality" without changing your perception of reality...Blablablabla(that was my cat)


I have never been so in love with myself nor of this world to understand people who have such a strong desire to live.I simply can not relate to your experience nor your fear.I think I have a biological
desire to continue existing because I am not dead at 42 and some of that time took "effort".I basically see my existence as "killing time" until my time is up....I try and learn some things and do some things that I hope make others lives a little better but I have never had this "lust for life" that so many people have.I "believe" in reincarnation because it makes more sense then complete loss of of "self" through the degeneration of our physical vessels....that just seems illogical to me...it isnt a comforting thought for me...I think I would prefer to believe that our "self" just disappeared.

The coyotes may be happy (and I'm not one to deny that), but what about me? I've gotten over the depth of my attack yesterday, but it vill return!

I'd rather not leave the party until I've gotten comfortable with the idea, and I'd prefer at least centuries for that to happen.

Thanks for the sentiment. The whole quote is "Vanitas vanitatum et omnia vanitas." "Vanity of vanities, all is vanity."

That is what I'm trying to do, solving said problem.

Please be realistic. Worrying about death will only make your life that much shorter and likely more miserable. You're still young, at the prime of your life--chances are that you're not going to die in the near future, so wait till you're sixty to focus your thoughts and energy on your demise.



Nothing in life is fair. Millions of people are worse off than you are, but who is going to advocate for them? If you're worried about losing your uniqueness after death, write a book or paint or do something that will live on after you die.

Well, I'm finally digging myself out of that hole. I would have had a post that had a major rant against the things wrong in life, followed by an epiphany: that I would become a doctor. However, fate, or the electricity provider (I suspect a conspiracy, hahahahaha) interrupted that before I could submit the post. While I am not out of my depression, I am getting out of it.

I am well aware of that fact. However, there are advocates for many of these people.

I better sign off before the electricity foes offline ag...*fzzztt*

Ah, Ecclesiastes. There's someone with a perspective.

Though nowadays "All is vanity" may be taken as more a reflection on
the pervasiveness of the fashion and cosmetics industries.