They blew off my baptisum.

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On Sunday I was going to be baptised into Christianity. My dad whom I hardly ever see(my mom and dad were never married) came down from Atlanta for my 18th birthday with his roomate of 8 years Michelle and her son Mike(I can't stand him). We got my half brother Johnathon and it all seemed to be going well. I told him I wanted them all to come to my baptisum including my grandma and grandpa. He kept telling me it's a personal thing which is not right because if you read The Bible it says that its a public statement and you need witnesses. But he's the kind who will go on a one hour tanget about a matter if you complain or differ. I had him drop me off at church (I go to Brookwood) where I spent some of my birthday money to get him a book at there Christian book store on finding time for God in between work. He works too much which is why nobody ever sees him and puts it before family. When he and everyone come to get me they started mocking me. My bro was like "The fish means I love Jesus but can't spell it" then Mike told me church was a waste of time dad didn't even stop them it was Michelle who did(she was more supportive of my beliefs). My mom called me on my cell and told me that dad said they weren't coming. Thats when I pulled down my shades and broke down. My grandma decided she wasn't going to come and instead grill hotdogs for everyone (I'm a vegetarian so this is unappealing to me). Michelle tried to change my dads mind about not coming to my baptisum but couldn't (however I comend her for her endevor) when dad brought me back to my house my mom and I argued on why he needed to come to my baptisum while he made dumb excuses. Then he said "Fine if it will make you happy I'll go I won't be happy but make you happy" thats when I lost it and said "If your going to have that kind of attitude then don't come we don't need you". Then he left. After that my mom started being difficult she was all like you shouldn't wear that spike coller(which I wasn't), go find your water shoes, and all this other stuff that wasn't helpping me feel better. So I walked away while she started swearing about it. I'd felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest and stomped into the ground and that was supposed to help? I don't think so. I was so upset I just said "I have to cancel I can't go like this" my mom was enraged because it was an hour away and we had to call people to say it was canceled and tried to intimadate me into changeing my mind but I told her "I'm freaking 18 I can do what I want I'm too upset to go and your not helpping". She likes to always be right and on top so she tries defending herself to make it seem like I was wrong which only worsen the issue. Everyone was called to say it was canceled and they all said I made the right choice because you should not be baptised while in a bad mood. Then mom almost knocked out my door to get Michelles cell number to call and tell dad so I slipped it under the door then was told by my grandmother("nan") (my moms adoptive parents who we live with) that friends of my mom when to high school with Deedee and Jole that are my friends as well were going to come see me. So after an hour they came into my room to talk to me and make me feel better. They gave me a Bible with my name printed on it and the fish symbol. After that I read it and felt a little better.
It's been 3 days since and I havn't gotten an "I'm sorry" from my dad or anyone else in his family. The book I got him was placed in his truck where he will hopfully find it. The church called to see why I wasn't there I told them and they understood and changed it to August 9th. This time nobody in my dad's family are invited or allowed and I will not go to anymore of there own events so they can see how it feels. But they could careless I know it thats the way they are. No shame in what they did. I was glad to see that it started to rain that day so that disruped there cookout.
To think I went to things with him I didn't want to go to but I went without saying anything and he couldn't to that one thing for that's just selfish.

Last edited by Shadowgirl on 06 Jul 2006, 9:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'm speaking from the strange point of an atheist who would probably have done similar, if not more cruel things then what your relatives did. However, I will attempt fairness:
Maybe your relatives feel that you are attempting to be too dominating. Think about it for a second. They might have felt that you wanted them to embrace your religious side instead of thinking about it and possibly disliking it or changing it. It is possible that they do not like the idea of you being religious, and decided that the best way to do so was to blow you off instead of using a direct confrontation. Those tend to not work well with religion(see Crusades). Then again, they might all be lazy as*holes. Many possibilities, I'm presenting one of them.

I don't see any point inviting non-christians to a baptism.

Your church should provide suffient faithful witnesses for you. You don't need to drag along unwilling family.

It would have been nice for them to go since it was so important to you that they be there. But you should have went on ahead and got baptised anyways and not wish ill on them. You did behave badly, you were disapointed and believe me I understand. Noone from my family came to mine, but it is their choice. I was made fun of,accused of being judgemental...even when I said nothing, all it took was, I go to this church and now I wanna go to Bible College, and oh man was I ragged on. But what can one do??? It's their issue. You gotta love them..... regardless. They don't support your faith....pray for them, and treat them the way you would want to be treated. You are right to express your disapointment but to pitch a fit.....naw...not so good. But believe me, I understand. You know the funny thing is....my dad, who is atheist actually went out and bought me a bible...he said,"You gonna believe this stuff, you better know what you're talking about". But him in a church....not going to happen. Well, he showed up at my wedding...that was in a church. But it was hard being in a family who made my life a bit difficult when I really did go ahead with bible college. One of my sisters boyfriends ruined one of my homework assignments that I spent hours on. He drew a picture of a naked woman on it and I had to do the work all over again. My sister thought it was funny, and neither one of my parents stood up for me. So I get what you are saying. But it is what it is...OUR FAITH, you just can't force our Lord onto anyone.

I think Shadowgirl's response was understandable! It shows how important this is to her and her family reacted completely inappropriately. This is the kind of thing Christians have to go through a lot these days. It takes a lot of courage and conviction to be a Christian in this world where Satan has an iron grip. I wish I could say it was going to get easier, but I fear this is just the first of a lifetime of tests of faith that Shadowgirl will have to endure. The book of Luke is a great read to help get through such times. Jesus talks about how those who are persecuted in his name are blessed. It is far, far easier to proclaim you do not believe in God in this world. This is strange, to me, since we live in a world of science that reveals the hand of God from the tiniest observation to the largest; from the quark to the galaxy - the amazing proof of His work! Can a person swim in the ocean and say they aren't wet? Apparently so, if they work hard enough to convince themselves the ocean doesn't exist.

Shadowgirl, Jesus was your witness at the baptism. Now we've witnessed it too!

PS: She wasn't trying to force her faith on her family, she was asking her family to support her and be there for her. Is that wrong?

Your family not going to your baptism because it's not the same as their beliefs is the same as not attending someone's college graduation because they don't believe in higher education. They should have attended and been nice about it just to support you, their family member. It was selfish for them to behave that way.

Ephesians 4:31-32- "Let all bitnerness and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." And thats my message to you shadowgirl. You really need to forgive them, and still love them.Yes they should have gone, but they didn't. Very few from my husbands family went to my children's baby dedication, as a matter of fact, neither went to my sons. There were relatives thats should have gone to my daughters wedding, and did not. Some excuses were justified...others.......no reason, they live close they could have gone, no job interference. I paid for the food for people who said they were coming, only for them to not show up, no explanation given, and I called EVERYONE, before I paid the caterors. These things happen, your family dosn't see the importance behind baptism. So I think thats what I really wanted to be clear with for you. Regardless of what others do wrong, you can rise above it. Romans 12:14 says "Bless those that persecute you: bless, and curse not." It's sooooooooooo hard sometimes, and we all blowup at times, hey we are human. But you gotta shake it off, and move on, and next time....don't let anything, or anyone prevent you from getting baptised. That, after all is your special day with God.

I disagree that it is the same as not attending someone's college graduation because they don't believe in higher education. There is a significant difference:

Higher education does no harm to society. In fact it clearly helps society.

Whereas religion damages society and promotes unethical/immoral behavior.

Attending one of these religious rituals represents a tacit acceptance of unethical behavior.

Religion is not just some alternate opinion. It is not just some belief. It is systematic fraud, manipulation, molestation, murder, etc. Being asked to attend a baptism is asking someone to tolerate a system of immorality. I give a few examples in my next message of how Christianity is immoral.

Last edited by emp on 07 Jul 2006, 10:18 am, edited 1 time in total.

In all of Ephesians, there are only 6 statements that are good. You picked one of the 6. The rest is immoral, nonsense, or absurd, etc.

Here are some of the immoral things that Ephesians says:

* Slaves must obey their masters as they would Christ. (Eph 6:5)

* Wives must submit to their husband as if the husband were Christ. (Eph 5:22-24, 5:33)

* The wrath of God will be on those who refuse to obey (such as non-Christians). (Eph 5:6)

* If you tell jokes, you are going to hell. (Eph 5:4-5)


Romans 1:31-32 says that homosexuals should be killed.

Romans 5:12 says that God punishes everyone for someone else's sin; then he saves them by killing an innocent victim.

Emp....I think you and I can debate scripture untill the cows come home.....but I won't give you the satisfaction as you make it a point to twist everything we say anyways. I've been around enough people such as yourselves that I just know...becuase I've seen it alot, that they either repent and champion for our cause, or they just go about sadly having nothing better to do than to then to critise people who are very happy and content with their lives. But most of them, end up Christians, Josh McDowell being one of them. He was an atheist hell bent on disproving our faith. But he now is a Christian writer and speaker. I have friends who were just like you at one time, and are now serving Christ faithfully. So you keep searching the scriptures, yeah yeah you twist them and your interpretation, but you just keep on searching out the scriptures. By the way I met my husband in bible college and we have a very good and happy fullfilled marriage, probably because we know more about what a Christian marraige intells then you do. And I've noticed...the only thing anyone one this website knows about you is how much you hate Christians......how sad for you, and maybe, how sad for us.

Yes, we could debate scripture until the cows come home, but it would not change your mind. Note that I am not trying to change your mind. My posts above were for the benefit of OTHER people.

Oh sure I replied to you, but this is not about you. As strange as it may seem at first, you are not the intended audience of my replies to you. For example, consider debating or legal cases. A debater or a lawyer may reply to something the other team said, but his/her message is actually intended for the audience and the adjudicators. So nothing I say is intended to change your mind or convert you. I am just using you as a demonstration.


I am merely exposing the nasty details that you would prefer be kept hidden and never discussed, and providing a counter-balance.


You may know of some people who became Christians, however the overall trend is against religion. Religion is slowly dying as people become more educated and intelligent, as evidenced by its increasing loss of power over the years, and more and more people realizing that they do not need religion. Unfortunately, it may well require a couple hundred years or more before the plague of religion is extinct, but it IS happening slowly, the trend has become evident.

Many people who consider themselves Christian do not even bother attending churches anymore, except for special occasions. Religion is in decline, and losing importance for many people. Hooray for that, the world is becoming a better and more moral place.


I do NOT hate christians. I hate various forms of unethical behavior.

Shadowgirl....I empathise with your disappointment in your family...my guess is that it is not the first time you have felt unsupported by your family in who you are or how you choose to live your life....but I agree with Paula that the Christ like thing to do would be to forgive them for hurting you and stop hoping for them to change(anymore then you want to change to fit their beliefs)

I also understand some of where Emp is coming from....I found some comfort in the church I was raised in from 6 to 16 and thought christ had some good ideas and like some of his "teachings"
be nice to people
help the poor
forgive people
dont be greedy and materialistic
care for the vulnerable(for me that included the environment and animals)


however ,as I got older and noticed that alot of people who said they were christians didnt seem to follow those simple rules and so much suffering was done in the name of "religion" from ginocide,inqusitions,pogroms,witch burning,persacution of other religious persons,greedy televangalist, to name but a few....I also have issue with the priority of many evangilicist who vote based on politicians anti-choice,anti-gay stance rather then their positions on economic or the environment which impact the poor and the health of al animals and humans....I know there are individuals within churchs who have good hearts and develop many programs to help people(just wish they didnt do it so often as a way of recruiting new members like some sort of pyramid sceme ....

I read somewhere that ...."a cynic is someone who has been hurt one to many times" I know where religions is concerned, that is true for me.....I firmly believe that, were it not for Christian agenda...Bush would not be our president and alot of suffering in the world would have been averted.If religion is the opiate of the masses....I can understand how some people can get hooked...we all look for something to relieve our personal suffering....the problem is when our "relief" causes so much suffering for others...which it often does ,in the case of adiction....Rant over...for now

His folks not going to his baptisim shouldn't have anything to do with religion. I don't agree with religion either, but they should have come out and cheered him on.

This is interesting. My parents chose not to attend my Baptism, either. Their reasons/excuses for this included the 8 hour drive, etc. Becoming part of an official religion was very important to me. As a child, our family was secular.

On the most very basic level, a parent should encourage their child's interests and show support, even if it means just showing up, smiling and nodding--whether it is a sport, a well-meaning religious event, a meeting of interest, etc.

How can you say that. Your so wrong. Christain is moral. It doesn't promote immoral behaviors it promotes moral behaviors. As in loving others instead of ripping people off that's sound moral to me. Going to chruch and going through Christianty isn't unethical. It is a belief and it is faith. A faith in God. This isn't a part of some cultish scam. A baptism isn't away to tolerate immorality. You speaking from a Sinner's point of who doesn't really understand what the heck he's talking about. Chirstianity does help society but higher education will actually destory the persons belief in themself. It also stuffs people's mind of unwanted info. The lies that they call scientific theorys that are taught in most colleges and universatiys the professors stuff every student mind with them. I don't know why you should insist that everyone is better with a higher education when only what they want to do like study how the tigers body works. One doesn't need to know anything else just that.