Why are non autistic people so cruel to us?

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Mdyar
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10 Feb 2011, 11:51 pm

techstepgenr8tion wrote:
Mdyar wrote:
The beautiful people syndrome.
It's ugly. It's true. It's anthropological. The 'mean' of the population sets the tone with all the able drones. The less multicultural the more the problems here. You find more one dimensional thinking in these static areas. If you miss cues you are "out"- morally worthtless. "We need to fix you up by a haircut or look how nice so and so over there is dressed." 'You didnt stand close enough to your razor." I've heard these before as applied to others and I'd hate to hear what they told others about me.

I have had those chances to eaves drop and yes, you find out exactly how barbaric the level of thought that other people function on can really be. Lots of people assumed that there was no one 'in here' (ie no personality, I was walking suit), women complained that there was something SERIOUSLY wrong with me at work that I wasn't flirting or asking girls there out, and yes - if you stutter once or twice, that's it, you additionally have mental problems. Not that I didn't survive the experiences, just that my ability to project my higher hopes on other people and pretend they were more like me than they actually are was dashed.


It's tough- I've been aware of this and sorry to hear that. I've seen you around here (PPR & in other places) and I followed "this" somewhat before in other threads.
I resigned myself to isolation - too much anxiety and never dated till 35.

If you ever read the latest buzz on how to be "successful" in the workplace and dating, etc. - you get the sense of the difficulty level under those conditions. There is a lot going on with" E.Q." and being "team players," of what you wear, how to do this and how to ask that, to get ahead--it's bewildering.
If you're unable to be socialized from day one in school, with the culture and the heuristics of it , then you better be good and into something technical.

Generally it takes this* trajectory* to grow into this, as to be able to interface society on these levels -factor in ASD and this is marginal at best.



Daryl_Blonder
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12 Feb 2011, 2:25 am

In my experience, many NTs don't realize they are being cruel. I have had them tell me they are "trying to help me," and one time when I asked what it meant, the guy told me come on, I lived with my parents even though I was almost thirty, never went on any real dates, and drove a sh***y car, and didn't have a real job. I believe he meant well, and really was trying to help. But the things he said were very hurtful. And I don't believe that most of the kids that teased me when I was in school meant to hurt me. They just were pointing out oddities they thought were funny.

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jackbus01
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12 Feb 2011, 6:13 am

Sometimes people are cruel and close-minded, however other times there is just lack of communication.
The trick is to figure out which one it is.



Bellatrix76
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12 Feb 2011, 8:44 pm

What a fantastic thread! Allow me to add a rant.

NTs are not nessecarily cruel. IMHO, they are more stupid, instinct driven (they act without thinking) and narrow minded. They also love denial, and refuse to acknowledge something that might not fit into their VERY narrow worldview as having any truth or merit.

Personally, I can't imagine writing someone off just because they have trouble with eye contact or don't want to go out and party on all the time, but NTs will do so without a second thought. They don't even know why themselves. Introspection is soemthing the "weirdos" waste time on. And if YOU ask why, they'll throw you into the "weirdo" pile, too.

The ironic part of this is, I've seen so many of my NT friends get into serious trouble because they wouldn't listen when they're very logical, perceptive and intuitive Aspie friend (me) tried to tell them what was really going on. In fact, they either ignored or ridiculed me. And when exactly what I told them would happen came to pass, was any apology or acknowledgement forthcoming? NOPE.

My theory? The world is run by serial bullies who trick NTs into becoming their thugs and advocates. When someone on the autism spectrum calls the serial bully out (one of our crucial talents is that we recognize those people, normies don't) they use the NTs to break us down. Since NTs only acknowledge what they percieve as normal, as socialpaths are very adept at putting on a good show, and Aspies are not, this usually works.

It's depressing as hell, but in my experience it's very true.

My two cents.



Todesking
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12 Feb 2011, 10:24 pm

My experiences have been the people that picked on me the most were people who were compinsating for having a horrible life and need someone to kick around so they can feel superior to someone even if its for a few moments.

He is a few examples of some of the people who mentally tortured me at my many different jobs.

Domingo R. ---Three Illegitimate children he refused to pay for even after a paternity test said they were his. His girlfriend he stuck with the kids came into work and had a nervous breakdown while begging for money for kids from him so she could get cough syrup for their sick four year old. I bought her the cough syrup to make Domingo look like a punk in front of everyone.

Justin R. --- Beat the hell out of numerous girlfiends and rumor had it that he hit his own mother according to his sister.

Aaron P. --- Had sex with a passed out 14 yearold girl when he was 22 at a party. People who watched him violate the girl made fun of him for his penis constantly slipping out giving him the nick name button-dick. Half of my co-workers were there to see it.

Dave A. --- Functionally retarded, he set fire to his paper hat once why lighting a cigarette with an oven while we were having a saftey meeting. He also is well known by the Buffalo fire department for setting fire to an abandoned warehouse which burned down a city block full of warehouses when he was 16 in 1976. The only reason he did not get jail time was because he was mentally retarded. A volunteer firefighter from Buffalo told us about this and Dave A. admitted to bragging how he got away with it.

Melissa R. --- Beat her 15 month old baby but her dad knew the judge so she got away with community service and mandatory anger management and parenting classes. Her ex boyfriend came in with the court papers when he tried to get custody of the kid.

Oliva K. --- Got caught masterbating a 12 year old kid with down syndrome when she was 16 on a bet that a kid with downsyndrome had a large penis. She actually bragged about doing it at our Chirstmass party.

Joe G. --- He choked his girlfiend until she wet her pants when we went out to lunch when we were in ordering food he was in the parking lot choking his girlfriend. A Women told us she made him stop and told us what he did to her when we came out. My boss fired him and had to drive his girlfriend to the police station Joey G took off running because he was afraid the cops would beat him up when they showed up. :roll:

If you dig around asking your tormentors friends, family, and co-workers about embarrassing information about them they will spill the beans most of the time. Everyone likes talking about others who they know to make themselves look better infront of anyone. Juswt remember the creetin that is making fun of you has some skeletons in their closet. They are making fun of you only because most aspies don't have the type of drama NT's seem to produce.


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techstepgenr8tion
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12 Feb 2011, 10:39 pm

Todesking wrote:
Aaron P. --- Had sex with a passed out 14 yearold girl when he was 22 at a party. People who watched him violate the girl made fun of him for his penis constantly slipping out giving him the nick name button-dick. Half of my co-workers were there to see it.


Lol, that sounds eerily familiar.
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jackbus01
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13 Feb 2011, 2:50 am

Todesking wrote:
My experiences have been the people that picked on me the most were people who were compinsating for having a horrible life and need someone to kick around so they can feel superior to someone even if its for a few moments.

He is a few examples of some of the people who mentally tortured me at my many different jobs.

Domingo R. ---Three Illegitimate children he refused to pay for even after a paternity test said they were his. His girlfriend he stuck with the kids came into work and had a nervous breakdown while begging for money for kids from him so she could get cough syrup for their sick four year old. I bought her the cough syrup to make Domingo look like a punk in front of everyone.

Justin R. --- Beat the hell out of numerous girlfiends and rumor had it that he hit his own mother according to his sister.

Aaron P. --- Had sex with a passed out 14 yearold girl when he was 22 at a party. People who watched him violate the girl made fun of him for his penis constantly slipping out giving him the nick name button-dick. Half of my co-workers were there to see it.

Dave A. --- Functionally retarded, he set fire to his paper hat once why lighting a cigarette with an oven while we were having a saftey meeting. He also is well known by the Buffalo fire department for setting fire to an abandoned warehouse which burned down a city block full of warehouses when he was 16 in 1976. The only reason he did not get jail time was because he was mentally retarded. A volunteer firefighter from Buffalo told us about this and Dave A. admitted to bragging how he got away with it.

Melissa R. --- Beat her 15 month old baby but her dad knew the judge so she got away with community service and mandatory anger management and parenting classes. Her ex boyfriend came in with the court papers when he tried to get custody of the kid.

Oliva K. --- Got caught masterbating a 12 year old kid with down syndrome when she was 16 on a bet that a kid with downsyndrome had a large penis. She actually bragged about doing it at our Chirstmass party.

Joe G. --- He choked his girlfiend until she wet her pants when we went out to lunch when we were in ordering food he was in the parking lot choking his girlfriend. A Women told us she made him stop and told us what he did to her when we came out. My boss fired him and had to drive his girlfriend to the police station Joey G took off running because he was afraid the cops would beat him up when they showed up. :roll:

If you dig around asking your tormentors friends, family, and co-workers about embarrassing information about them they will spill the beans most of the time. Everyone likes talking about others who they know to make themselves look better infront of anyone. Juswt remember the creetin that is making fun of you has some skeletons in their closet. They are making fun of you only because most aspies don't have the type of drama NT's seem to produce.


Damn, what a bunch of losers. Sadly I can picture being stuck in a low-wage workplace with these people. That would truly be hell.



Eldanesh
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13 Feb 2011, 10:33 pm

I think the social misunderstandings caused by autistic characteristics are often taken as cruel/mean/arrogant to NT's. So hey, It's not just them :roll:



Todesking
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14 Feb 2011, 12:35 am

jackbus01 wrote:
Damn, what a bunch of losers. Sadly I can picture being stuck in a low-wage workplace with these people. That would truly be hell.


Only half of them came from one job the rest are scattered between three jobs I only worked for a month or two. I cold have mentioned more but I do not remember their names. Just wait after you have worked for 22 years at low paying jobs you to will meet a hole menagerie of freaks, loosers, and total wastes of life it will make your head spin and they all will think they are better than you because you are autistic. :roll:


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jackbus01
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14 Feb 2011, 1:00 am

Todesking wrote:
jackbus01 wrote:
Damn, what a bunch of losers. Sadly I can picture being stuck in a low-wage workplace with these people. That would truly be hell.


Only half of them came from one job the rest are scattered between three jobs I only worked for a month or two. I cold have mentioned more but I do not remember their names. Just wait after you have worked for 22 years at low paying jobs you to will meet a hole menagerie of freaks, loosers, and total wastes of life it will make your head spin and they all will think they are better than you because you are autistic. :roll:


Yes, been there done that, only with about half of the jobs I have had though. That is why I said I can picture myself there. They think they are better than you because they are messed up and don't want to admit it. They see you are probably not messed up and want to bully you because of it. It truly is hell if you have more than 2 or 3 of them at once in the same place. They are all a bunch of losers--all of them beyond hope.



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14 Feb 2011, 1:31 am

jackbus01 wrote:
Todesking wrote:
jackbus01 wrote:
Damn, what a bunch of losers. Sadly I can picture being stuck in a low-wage workplace with these people. That would truly be hell.


Only half of them came from one job the rest are scattered between three jobs I only worked for a month or two. I cold have mentioned more but I do not remember their names. Just wait after you have worked for 22 years at low paying jobs you to will meet a hole menagerie of freaks, loosers, and total wastes of life it will make your head spin and they all will think they are better than you because you are autistic. :roll:


Yes, been there done that, only with about half of the jobs I have had though. That is why I said I can picture myself there. They think they are better than you because they are messed up and don't want to admit it. They see you are probably not messed up and want to bully you because of it. It truly is hell if you have more than 2 or 3 of them at once in the same place. They are all a bunch of losers--all of them beyond hope.
Yeah what a bunch of f*****g pricks. If society ever went lawless their type would be the top priority of my s**t list.



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14 Feb 2011, 1:41 am

AceOfSpades wrote:
jackbus01 wrote:
Todesking wrote:
jackbus01 wrote:
Damn, what a bunch of losers. Sadly I can picture being stuck in a low-wage workplace with these people. That would truly be hell.


Only half of them came from one job the rest are scattered between three jobs I only worked for a month or two. I cold have mentioned more but I do not remember their names. Just wait after you have worked for 22 years at low paying jobs you to will meet a hole menagerie of freaks, loosers, and total wastes of life it will make your head spin and they all will think they are better than you because you are autistic. :roll:


Yes, been there done that, only with about half of the jobs I have had though. That is why I said I can picture myself there. They think they are better than you because they are messed up and don't want to admit it. They see you are probably not messed up and want to bully you because of it. It truly is hell if you have more than 2 or 3 of them at once in the same place. They are all a bunch of losers--all of them beyond hope.
Yeah what a bunch of f***ing pricks. If society ever went lawless their type would be the top priority of my sh** list.


I seriously believe some people just deserve to f*cking die.



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14 Feb 2011, 2:48 am

AceOfSpades wrote:
]Yeah what a bunch of f***ing pricks. If society ever went lawless their type would be the top priority of my sh** list.


Its the reason I own an AR-15 and a Remington 870 shotgun. :wink:


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14 Feb 2011, 3:08 am

When I was in college, our criminal law class had a lecture on mental disorders and the criminal code. One student brought up aspergers and autism and talked about how she knew someone with it and described him as a loser and a creep. The whole 80 minute class turned into one big autism bashfest. I didnt feel like being burned to the stake so I decided from then on that it was best to just stay in the closet and nail the door shut. My best friend said nothing in the whole bashfest.....he sat quietly just as I did.


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14 Feb 2011, 3:30 am

Tory_canuck wrote:
When I was in college, our criminal law class had a lecture on mental disorders and the criminal code. One student brought up aspergers and autism and talked about how she knew someone with it and described him as a loser and a creep. The whole 80 minute class turned into one big autism bashfest. I didnt feel like being burned to the stake so I decided from then on that it was best to just stay in the closet and nail the door shut. My best friend said nothing in the whole bashfest.....he sat quietly just as I did.


How could you possibly contain your outrage! Why didn't you or your friend say something?



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14 Feb 2011, 7:02 am

jackbus01 wrote:
Tory_canuck wrote:
When I was in college, our criminal law class had a lecture on mental disorders and the criminal code. One student brought up aspergers and autism and talked about how she knew someone with it and described him as a loser and a creep. The whole 80 minute class turned into one big autism bashfest. I didnt feel like being burned to the stake so I decided from then on that it was best to just stay in the closet and nail the door shut. My best friend said nothing in the whole bashfest.....he sat quietly just as I did.


How could you possibly contain your outrage! Why didn't you or your friend say something?


I would have said something right away, and not in a nice way.


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