Its my lfe that hurts me most

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Its the simple truth of the matter........I am not completly suicidal anymore. But I suppose slow suicide is the direction I am going. I don't have potential and if I did its dead and gone, so whats it matter. The second step is becoming more honest about it.....so instead of feeling sorry for me because I have aspergers and other mental problems I wish they would just get over my exestance as it is pretty meaningless. And yet I can't get rid of the feelings of wanting to be good enough(something I've never achevied).......well maybe I can get rid of those feelings.

slow suicide? i suppose most of us are committing some kind of slow suicide, by the definition of taking less than optimal care of ourselves and/or being born with the wrong genes.

"As soon as you're born you start dying so you might as well have a good time." -CAKE

One good thing about giving up on your old expectations is that it clears the slate to create new ones. People who really don't give sh*t are free to reinvent themselves.

Gah, I know how you feel. I'm still trying, though. But it's hard. I'm sort of hoping to achieve the kind of numbness that lets me stop caring, but I can't because I'm human =__________=

You need to make peace with the idea that you’re never going to be anything but you. Then, concentrate on being you to the best of your ability…

Make an honest assessment of your assets and liabilities (you do have both). Learn to accept your limits and stop stressing over them.


Also, internalize your goals. If you play tennis, it isn’t reasonable to expect to win every match; you’re just setting yourself up for disappointment. Instead, strive to play the best game you can, win or lose. That’s a goal that is within your grasp, a goal you can always achieve.

90% of life is what you make of it.

The truth is, happiness is a decision…

If you want to live a happy life you can.

Cultivating a sense of gratitude is a good way to find a bit of happiness. As bad as things might seem, I bet you have things to be grateful for. Did you eat today? Do you have a warm, dry, safe place to sleep?

You get the idea…

Since we’re quoting pop song lyrics:

Sometimes I think to myself, I'm sitting on front of a computer..and that is so much better than the time when...

I won’t pretend I know what life is like for you, but I do know a bit about feeling bad.

I’ve been depressed and anhedonic most of my life. Depending on your definition, you can be happy and depressed at the same time.

For me, happiness means minimal stress, and maximum tranquility. You can achieve that sort of happiness by making peace with your limitations and internalizing your goals. (Helping other people, even if it’s just giving a little money to charity, and finding things to feel grateful for really does help as well.)It’s hard work, but it can be done, and it will make life more bearable. Along the way, you might even experience brief periods of actual joy.

It’s okay if you don’t know what/how you want to live your life. Hell, I’m twice as old as you and I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.

Drugging yourself is bad, but you already know that, and you know what you need to do there… The lying is bad too. Dishonesty is just another needless source of stress.

If you don’t want to go to school, DON’T! Just realize that you need to do something (something other than drugs and dwelling on your misery).

I’m sorry. I wish I could be more helpful…

You're only 21. You've more potential than any one.

Height won't matter. If that's you in your avatar you are quite attractive, if you don't mind me saying. You seem quite intelligent from your posts on here, so I assure you your doubts are baseless. You only need to work on your social skills a bit to get a boyfriend. Give yourself some time, if you start actively trying to socialize better, you will in time.

I know from experience that ptsd is hard to overcome, I suffer from a form of it myself. If you don't let it get to you, it won't. You may need to recharge and let it out once in awhile to release, but it'll gradually heal. Don't expect any overnight healing. My personality split at least 13 years ago (Dissociative Identity Disorder is my form of PTSD) and my personalities are only now merging.

You can start learning how to do something. You don't have to have a natural talent to actually have talent in something. You may need to work harder at it, but you can really do almost anything you want. You just need to find something.

Join the no natural talents club. I've always felt at home with musical instruments, but I have no natural talent for them. I am the shittiest sightreader you'll ever meet. The reason why I continue is because I love music, and I love making it. It's my passion. What do you like doing? That may be what you can try doing.

I wish I could help a little more on the PTSD thing. I'm still struggling with it myself. Sometimes it just gets me far, far down. What makes me come back up is music. I guess you could say that developing a passion for something could help. Maybe you could try that?

For socializing, yeah I'm the same. It's really, really hard for me. So I just do what comes natural. I love talking to people and I love people in general, despite the issues. It's a mentality I developed that works. I don't think I could help you socialize better in your case. I think that any attempt at getting better would have to come from you. You can definitely do it too, I think.