So, I’m still living at home with my dad and a roommate. The house is large and nearly impossible to disturb one another, however the roommate has recently taken to trying to drive me out in various ways. Just yesterday, he implied that a depressive phase with suicidal ideation I recently had was merely a ploy of mine to essentially be lazy. He then went on to comment I didn’t have the balls to do it anyways. I confronted him about it and he ducked and dodged any responsibility for what he actually said. He apologized but not for having said it, rather for the misunderstanding; which he then went on to explain was merely him attempting to show concern. I have since recovered and have for a while now been getting back on the right track, so that’s complete BS.
It’s pretty obvious that he just wants me out of the house, but I don’t really have any healthy alternatives. I just don’t see any other place being as sturdy a launching pad for my future. Prior to that depressive phase I was attending college at about 10 credits a semester and working around 30 hours a week at 2 different jobs. I quit both the jobs and didn’t enroll, basically I just shut down for like a 3 month period were I was hardly capable of finding the energy to get out of bed. I would just sleep, read books and search the internet for a way to fix my brain. The anguish of that state I was in was very real and for the majority of the time I hardly even knew why it was like that. I suppose I eventually came to terms with some things and gained some insight through it, but that process has now put my living situation in jeopardy (or at the very least made it quite unpleasant).
I got hired at a coffee shop and worked there for a while until I decided the job wasn’t really suitable; this has probably added to the tension. I recently got rehired at the better job of the two I had before and am making an effort to pull some more hours out of them. I plan on getting back to school next fall but I don’t think it would be possible if things come to a head like I think they might. He even went as far to say something like “now don’t go doing it to show me up” in a slightly condescending fashion. Which I wouldnt even consider that route just to "show somebody up"; "showing somebody up" seems pretty idiotic to me, I'm sure he know this and thats why he thought he could get away with saying it in a smug fashion. I’m not sure exactly how I’m ganna handle this. Anyways, thanks for reading.
Last edited by lambrisprime on 07 Apr 2011, 6:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
07 Apr 2011, 5:57 pm
