Looking at my life makes me sick.

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aspie48
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23 May 2011, 7:15 pm

I have done so many bad things. I hate myself for every thing i have ever done. It seems that the only thing that prevents me from taking my life is my ability to do more bad things to forget about the other bad things i have done. I feel like I am slowly getting worse every day. I can't remember any time even when i was in pre school that i was not rejected, inadequate, and lonely. i have become jealous of other peoples happy lives and i have lashed out before. These memories have stuck with me forever I feel like I can't do anything about them. I wondered if anybody else has a similar problem.



RAINCLOUD
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23 May 2011, 8:49 pm

I have similar problems. I tried to commit suicide once. Just find something you love to do that makes you happy and think about the good things. See a therapist because that could help. I hope you feel better.


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AspieWolf
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23 May 2011, 9:47 pm

There is an old joke that goes something like this:

Patient: "Doctor it hurts when I do this."
Doctor: "Then don't do that!"

Well, I understand your situation. It is very familiar to me, as I have been there too and done some things that are definitely not good by any standard! What is done is done and we can't go back and change things. Dwelling on the past accomplishes nothing. The thing is to learn from our mistakes and try not to make the same ones again. What matters is who and what we are now and what we may be in the future. Remember, the future you is up to you to decide.


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"A man needs a little madness...or else...he never dares cut the rope and be free."
Nikos Kazantzakis, ZORBA THE GREEK

Some of us just have a little more madness than others!