Happy but still kinda depressed

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mrandysmiley
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25 Sep 2011, 8:49 pm

Hello WPers. I have not been here for awhile. I might as well bring you up to speed. I am now at school doing Radio and Television Arts and loving it. I have told my faculty and classmates that I have AS and they have all been very supportive. I am getting a new diagnosis and I am working with a therapist who specializes in AS through school. But, despite having all of that, I am still depressed. I am depressed because there is a girl in the second year of the program who is one of the most attractive girls I have ever seen and she was single but she now has a boyfriend. It looks like she met him this summer. She was even posting on facebook and twitter all this weekend about his visit and the stuff they did together. She even changed her relationship status. Why does she have to rub this in my face? I guess I am depressed because I now know that somebody that pretty and highly attractive in looks is never attainable, even if they are right under your nose. Her inner beauty actually turns me off and I have less of a crush on her, now that I know her a little bit. I don't even feel like going to school tomorrow. Why do I always never get the girl and why are the only ones who "like" me are ugly girls? Anyway, other than that my life is good. I felt like posting this in the haven because I still struggle with the fact that I'm single and I have never had a girlfriend nor have I had a girl lust after me. I don't wanna be one of those guys who ends up with someone ugly. If only I had a six pack....



Greatsharkbite
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26 Sep 2011, 8:27 am

Well, if her character wasn't good, then it wasn't a loss. I do get where you're coming from, not totally with the whole beauty versus ugly thing, but when I was in highschool, particularly as a freshmen/sophomore, it used to always get to me that I never had a girlfriend.

I had a major crush on a girl my freshmen year, transferred schools in sophomore and then transferred to a different school my junior year in highschool in which she happened to be at. But I didn't know her, she was just nice.

My girlfriend is nice looking (even though she doesn't always think so) but if her character wasn't good, I wouldn't want to be with her.

You're in a sense admitting that you hate your character, yet depressed you're not with her.. if you hate her character (truly and aren't venting) this is a win my friend. It'd have been nothing long lasting and you'd have been valuing whats on the outside more than the actual person.

You can get a nice looking girl and they can have character, just be proactive.



The_Perfect_Storm
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26 Sep 2011, 11:56 am

Sounds creepy to me. She has every right to have a relationship with whoever she wants. She doesn't need your permission..

How old are you, 15? Lol stop worrying.

There's way more to relationships than physical appearence, but if it means that much to you why don't you start exercising and work towards whatever your ideal is. If you're still in school you've got all the time in the world.



Moog
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26 Sep 2011, 1:04 pm

mrandysmiley wrote:
Why does she have to rub this in my face?


She hasn't, she's going out with someone, and has told people about it through the medium of facebook.

She probably doesn't even know you're into her.

It sucks, but she's not deliberately hurting you.

Quote:
I guess I am depressed because I now know that somebody that pretty and highly attractive in looks is never attainable, even if they are right under your nose. Her inner beauty actually turns me off and I have less of a crush on her, now that I know her a little bit. I don't even feel like going to school tomorrow. Why do I always never get the girl and why are the only ones who "like" me are ugly girls? Anyway, other than that my life is good. I felt like posting this in the haven because I still struggle with the fact that I'm single and I have never had a girlfriend nor have I had a girl lust after me. I don't wanna be one of those guys who ends up with someone ugly. If only I had a six pack....


If you really want a six pack, work on it.

Being a bit fitter is attractive, but I doubt a six pack is really the cure for your woes.


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mrandysmiley
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26 Sep 2011, 2:58 pm

Thanks for the response but you guys don't get what I am saying at all. I don't care who she dates (I don't really know her). All that this does is it makes me realize that I cannot get a good looking girl if I tried.



Greatsharkbite
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26 Sep 2011, 4:03 pm

Quote:
Thanks for the response but you guys don't get what I am saying at all. I don't care who she dates (I don't really know her). All that this does is it makes me realize that I cannot get a good looking girl if I tried.


How so? Her inner beauty turns you off, thats not you wanting her. This isn't you trying--you don't want her. Also unless you asked her out, she might not have even known you were interested. It is a depressing time and I understand where you're coming from. The heartbreak is real regardless, we can't choose who we have a crush on regardless of who they are. The pain will get better, but this "lesson" is self-destructive.

Having been in similar situations, the thing I pulled from them--is that person most likely wasn't for me and i'm thinking this is the same for you. You're free to go out and try to hook up with whoever you please. If you can socialize with faculty and classmates, you have a window of opportunity when it comes to a relationship as well.

Don't put everything out on the table, just be casual because as you said you didn't know her.. next time get to know the person better, they might want to know you as well. Don't feel embarrassed, don't put yourself down, because if this person was really worthwhile in the first place, they'd appreciate your personality and even small things about you.

If you just want to casually hook up (you want the "hot" looking chick) and this isn't as deep as i'm making it, I apologize. There's potential there either way.



mrandysmiley
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26 Sep 2011, 6:25 pm

@greatsharkbite Your advise really helped. My mind is clear now. I think what upset me the most is that she was putting her life on display on fb and twitter. But, I'm over that now. I just have to think about the good things and realize that there is hope after all. I have to work on my depression too. Hopefully, I will get that help at school.