Feelings, Emotions and other Baffiling Afflictions

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Let me start by saying I rarely get emotional. This is so frustrating because I feel untouchable and super-human. Then when I DO feel something (love/anger/sorrow/joy) it's confusing, cause I have no clue how to channel it or what to do with it. It's like I'm a deer in the head-lights or stuck in pause or something. I am flattened by any REAL emotion. I write songs, but then I'm too afraid to share them for fear that people will think I'm too melodramatic. I am slightly addicted to drama, but I think it's because when I feel an emotion I blow it out of proportion (unintentionally) It always feels like more than it is, because I'm not used to feeling. It's the closest I ever feel to NT. Feelings are exhausting!! Trying to dechipher how anyone else is feeling is even MORE taxing!! ! I have a crush on this guy and we have a blast whenever we hang out, but I can't tell for the life of me if he feels this wild connection I feel with him. Not only are my feelings for him killing me because I rarely feel anyway about anything/one...but trying to understand how HE must feel is like trying to put the ocean in a paper cup. I am blind to facial cues and expressions. I am blind to body languge, everyone is blank as a stone to me in that regard. I'm a black and white thinker and highly analytical but when it comes to emotions I am CLUELESS!! !
Will I ever understand????! !! I should just let go and let the universe control things as it should, but shades of gray are like smoke and mirrors to me! I need straight up WORDS or ACTIONS!! !

You have to ask him - humiliating, but true .

I was so lucky with my BF - he'd known me for 20 years and we'd become closer friends over the past year, so he knew what my issues were. So when his feelings towards me changed, he took a massive risk (it could have ruined our friendship forever!) and told me how he felt . I was extremely confused, because like you, I am quite rigid with my emotions. Plus, he was with someone else at the time, so an awful lot hinged on my response!

He was very kind and patient and allowed me to go away and think about what he'd said. And I realised that I couldn't live without him. Our relationship has lasted for the past 2 years with only one blip, which is saying a lot for my first!

But none of it would have happened if he hadn't spoken up, because let's face it, I'm AS and I can't read something unless I'm hit over the head with it!

For you, what's the worst that could happen? How could anyone dislike being told they are loved so passionately? I say go for it - tell him how you feel and ask how he feels about you.

Yes I do have to be hit over the head with things or else I will NEVER know for sure where I stand with people!! I can't express things like "I like you more than a friend" to someone...it's too scary! But suffering like this is killing me!! !!

Scary shmary . Carpe diem and go for it! Otherwise you'll spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been .

What Arian is saying is true. I've passed many opportunities from girls who all but flat out said they liked me.

If I had not taken even a small chance of trying to tell my now girlfriend how I feel about her--I wouldn't have this wonderful relationship either. Guys normally ask girls out, but.. nothing wrong with going after something you want, no matter the gender.

I'll say this, guys don't care if you're nervous normally.. especially if you're friends with him. Don't worry about his reaction and if he does like you, do not be too clingy. Be happy about it, be ecstatic even >.> but do not let the overall dynamic of the things that make you like each other change.

I don't think I'm capable of being "clingy"! !! HA! Yes, we share the feeling. But I fear that I am incapable also, of being what another human needs....It's not that I'm complicated emotionally, it's just that I don't know how to express them without feeling...uncomfortable