Dentists, how I hate them.

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Hello, I've got a little problem. And it's all my fault. And I only see two ways out. One, which is the easy was...in the long run..or short, is suicide. The other is living, pushing past all the obstacles in my way, falling, breaking things, being ashamed, patching myself up and all that is quite exhausting.

I don't know how to begin. I don't even know anybody here and it's still a bit shameful to say out loud. I have trouble keeping my teeth healthy. I know, such a small thing, yes? But no. I haven't got it in me to take care of them regularly. Sometimes it can take over 3 weeks for me to come around to brushing my teeth, doing that small thing feels like an extreme obstacle. I also really dislikes the taste and the texture of toothpaste. So I avoid things I don't like. And the things I avoid end up broken.

My mother always told me that I have the best teeth in my family, they're decent looking, white and nicely shaped and she tells me I should tend to them more often than I do. And I nod and say that, yes, I will. But fifteen minutes later It's all forgotten. I have problems, huge problems with depressions and at times, more than often nowadays I want to die. Sometimes all I can think about is suicide, how to make it happen and I think up elaborate plans. Those times tending to my teeth isn't all that important, finding the strength to breath and eat enough to make the day is incredibly hard and so I honestly don't give a rats ass about how my body is doing. Surviving my own mind is hard enough.

I was forced to the dentist about three days ago and I have to state again that I didn't go freely, part from a tiny bit in me who want and need help, because it hurts so freaking much. But then again I'm telling myself that it hurts because I'm not worth more than this. Well I went and got bad news. At least 2 teeth, in the back of my mouth are in bad shape, they could be saved but then how much money am I willing to spend? And now we got to the most shameful part. Of course it's shameful to know that I can't take care of my teeth and that it's quite honestly all my fault for being, not lazy, but unable to make it happen. But the thing that makes me either want to kill myself now or to smash my head into a wall, is that I haven't got the money to pay for myself. My parents, without knowing the price, are willing to pay. But I don't know how I will be able to face them, to tell them that their daughter of 23 can't do anything right.

And I almost forgot to say that I on top of all things am intensely afraid of dentists. It's the bright lights, the queer noises, the uncomfortable feeling of the drill against my teeth and all their probbing and being up close and personal that makes this such an odd, frightening and all horrible time. I always have an urgent need to shove them off and hide, but I dig my nails into my skin and draw blood instead.

So yes, now I'm staying up late because it hurts so much I can't sleep. I wish I could make up my mind to choose an option. Do I take the easy way out or stay here?

There's a honours student I know who is semi-retired and is a dentist. He is extremely friendly. The trainee orthodontist had did my braces was very good. Its not the dentists I have a problem with, its the experience of going to the dentist. I've had braces, gottten a couple of fillings done plus a root canal. Not fun at all. Especially getting moulds done, I have a very small mouth so they had to force a mould a little bigger than mouth in my mouth to get a mould, bad experience....

My fear of dentists began, I think, at the age of 5. I had a dentist that couldn't have had much experience with kids because when I didn't want to open my mouth, because I was afraid, he told my mum to hold my arms to keep me still. Which she did for a very short while, whilst I was screaming and crying loudly. My mom was also chocked, but I got some kind of phobia from that.

Then once I had to go to an routine check and the dentist had problem seeing into my mouth so he solved it by climbing up the chair and seated himself above me. I could have been 13..maybe. Scary experiment.

And I've had a few more after that time who weren't good. So I panic when lying down. I f*****g hate that.

I think you should request a sedative, you will be completely unaware of what is happening.

I got a tooth taken out a few weeks ago, and I could have taken better care of it, so I felt like a bit of an idiot in that sense. But you will feel so relieved when they are finally taken care of. And it is never too late to learn how to brush and floss twice a day. ((((((((hugs)))))))

But I feel like such an idiot, and I'm afraid that people, my family and others as well, will laugh or tell me again how I should've taken better care of them. My only argument so far is that I forget how important it really is. That there's a huge difference between "won't" and "can't".

i hate how GD expensive they are! i brush, floss and rinse religiously because i dread having to pay a kilobuck or more every time i see the dentist over a tooth that needs patched up.

I hate dentists too. Mostly because I hate the feel of brushing them unless I brush harder than I should.

I will say that that I hope you choose to live. I used to want to die. I still have temptations to self-injure, yet not to want to suicide. It is a high that comes from making emotional pain become physical, a high that always needs more, just like I've heard drugs do.

Please hang in there. I wish I had an answer to make it easy but I hope you chose to live. Some things that help are therapy, medicine, writing in journals. venting (keep venting here as well), music, and others suggestions that people here probably have. I should specify that those are things that have helped me. Keep praying. That is the most important part that pulled me through being suicide, and helps me overcome tendencies every time they come back.

Thanks for your ideas Although praying won't work since I'm an atheist.

Are you feeling any better? I hope so. If not, hang in there.

I'm personally paranoid of dentists and I also can't seem to force myself to brush my teeth. It's HUMILIATING, I know. I'm fully aware that it's wrong to not take care of myself properly and why, but I just can't help it! What people don't seem to understand is that hygiene issues don't have anything to do with intelligence or laziness. It's part of the package of poor mental health.
You just have to keep trying to force yourself, which is nearly impossible I know... But these days I'm able to brush and shower maybe a few times a week, sometimes more sometimes less.

I'm sorry. Me, I love dentists, but I can see why you have a problem. The problem you have is more the depression than the dental care (having been depressed many times I quite understand not taking care of yourself). But since the teeth are what are hurting right now, let your parents pay for your tooth care. And please get help for the depression.

There are lots of ways to take care of your teeth without toothbrushes and toothpaste. You can wipe your teeth with a salt paste on a wash cloth. You can use your finger to rub baking soda on your teeth and your fingernails to scrape at the placque. You can use a tasty floss. You can use a tiny child's soft toothbrush without toothpaste. There are little nubbly finger cots for brushing baby teeth you could use on yourself.

And embarrassment? Please don't be. I brush a few times a day and floss a lot. I had a pain that I complained about for years. We kept getting it x-rayed and could find nothing wrong. Then the tooth got abscessed. My husband panicked because he had an aunt that died from a tooth abscess. The tooth proved to be unsalvageable and was pulled. It had been cracked down the middle in such a way that it would not show on an x-ray. My husband is a dentist. He is embarrassed.

OMG I hate going to the dentist almost more than anything else. I only go when something hurts, that's how bad it is. Then I get yelled at for not going in sooner, but I can't stand the sensory overload. Between someone being that close for so long, the noises, the drills, and OMG I absolutely CANNOT tolerate the scraping they do to clean your teeth! That is one of the WORST sensory experiences for me. I try to keep my teeth clean and flossed, but I don't set foot near a dentist unless I'm in serious PAIN. The idea just about gives me a panic attack.

~Kate

I can agree with all these posts. I hate the dentist too, but it's mostly because I can't stand the feel of metal on my teeth. I hate wearing my bottom retainers because they have a metal band, but I force myself.
I also know how it is to have the difficulty to make yourself just take care of hygiene, especially with brushing teeth. I can not stand the taste of strong mint, having to even think and do it, and all of that. One thing I found REALLY has helped is they have kid's mouthwash in flavors other than mint. I found a bubblegum one, and it has no alcohol, so it doesn't have the burning and uncomfortable feeling that normal mouth wash has.
What's odd, is as a kid, before I got braces at age 14, I never once had a cavity, though I next to never brushed my teeth. However, once I got the braces off, when I continued the trend and brushed only a few times a week, I started getting TONS of cavities. I've found when I use the mouth wash, I have less or none.
Also, as someone suggested, as for a sedative when having your teeth worked on. I can handle the cleaning, but when it comes to anything else, I ask for laughing gas. It just makes me feel high, and the time goes by SO fast. I'm still a little tense, but I'm also in my own little world, yet there enough to do what the dentist tells me to do.

Prior to the 20th century there were no dentists! You get a toothache, you go to a blacksmith to have him pull it out for you.

I'd prefer pain sedatives, and reconstructive surgery anyday over that!

I hate going to the dentist but force myself to go. Used to wait years between visits. Have let 3 teeth abscess to the point of having rubbery roots and having infection in my sinuses and on one optic nerve. Am able to deal with a lot of pain and didn't know that my teeth were that bad. Now I'm missing 2 upper molars and 2 lower molars, opposite sides and it will cost almost $40,000 USD to get the situation fixed. Need dental surgery to do bone grafts plus implants. I haven't been able to eat solid food for over 4 years. Used to cry, rock, moan and clench my fists while in the dentist chair. I keep my fingernails really short or I would have drawn blood. I used to take an herbal remedy that helped me calm down - a little. Finally a dentist gave me a prescription for a sedative. It works. I even take it for cleanings. No way I can afford to get my teeth totally fixed but through the generosity of a local dentist I've gotten a free bone graft and a deep discount on an implant. By next year I hope to be able to chew on one side of my mouth - at least I'll have 2 teeth that I can grind food with. I have all the sensitivities that have been mentioned. I know how hard it is to do good oral hygiene and when I brush I tend to do it really hard to the point that I have damaged my gums. Do whatever it takes to keep your mouth healthy. It is horrible to not be able to eat normal food. Be smarter than me.