Page 1 of 1 [ 7 posts ] 

hartzofspace
Supporting Member
Supporting Member

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,138
Location: On the Road Less Traveled

13 Apr 2012, 5:32 pm

I just learned that my older brother has done something awful.

We lost our father in 2008. When he died, he left some money in a checking account. We learned that in order to access that money (since my father didn't leave a will) that all surviving siblings had to sign affidavits giving authority to my brother to withdraw the funds and disburse it amongst us. None of us felt comfortable doing this, so the money sat in the account for a few years. I decided to try for it, so I collected the necessary paperwork from all my siblings except him. He kept putting off signing his affidavit always promising to do it and then not signing. Finally I called the bank to see if the money was still there before trying to submit the paperwork to the court. That was when I learned that he lied to the surrogate court 1 year ago and said that he was the only surviving sibling, thus gaining the authority to withdraw the money. So now I have to break the news to all my sibs. Worse, there is nothing I can do about it! I feel deeply hurt and betrayed by my brother. :cry: We all really needed that money.


_________________
Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.
-- Dr. Dale Turner


Marcia
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,148

13 Apr 2012, 6:07 pm

Oh my, that really is awful! No wonder you feel hurt and betrayed! It's not just the loss of the money, but the duplicitous behaviour of your brother which must be so hard to bear.

I don't know about the relationship with your brother, but it may be possible to recover the money. After all, he committed fraud and the bank failed to carry out adequate checks to make sure that he was entitled to all of the money. It would be worth seeking legal advice to find out what steps you can take to get the money. Even if your brother has spent it by now, it may be that the bank should reimburse you and your siblings from their own funds and then the bank would have to try to recover the money from your brother. Of course, if you do go down that route you would have to take action against your brother and you may not want to do that.

I'm so sorry. :(



tomboy4good
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,379
Location: Irritating people everywhere

13 Apr 2012, 6:26 pm

What a terrible thing for your brother to do! I have seen some awful things that other siblings have done to their family members & it appalls me. My mother passed away in Nov 2010, & I just found out that my father dumped her ashes in their backyard. He also gave away their funeral plots, among other things. I no longer trust my dad, nor do I wish to help him with anything since he has pretty much made it clear that he is going to leave me nothing but a mess. I am sorely tempted to tell whomever contacts me when he passes that I have no idea who he is. It's hard to believe that people can be so horrible.

I am truly sorry you've been put into the center of a mess yourself.


_________________
If I do something right, no one remembers. If I do something
wrong, no one forgets.

Aspie Score: 173/200, NT score 31/200: very likely an Aspie
5/18/11: New Aspie test: 72/72
DX: Anxiety plus ADHD/Aspergers: inconclusive


hartzofspace
Supporting Member
Supporting Member

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,138
Location: On the Road Less Traveled

13 Apr 2012, 8:36 pm

The worst of it is that I fear my siblings will think that I took the money for myself, since I initiated this thing. There is not a lot of trust in my family. I can't afford to hire a lawyer. The free legal aid that is available in this state doesn't handle things like this as far as I can see.


_________________
Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.
-- Dr. Dale Turner


hartzofspace
Supporting Member
Supporting Member

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,138
Location: On the Road Less Traveled

15 Apr 2012, 10:22 am

It's just like my brother died. I would never have thought he would do something like this. The worst thing is that he allowed his family to believe that the money was still there. He knew I was going to divide it fairly amongst us. He even called me on my birthday and pretended to be concerned because I was having trouble collecting signatures. This betrayal cuts like a knife. I can't stop grieving about it. :cry:


_________________
Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.
-- Dr. Dale Turner


nomadder
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 3 Aug 2011
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 62

18 Apr 2012, 7:29 am

I'm sorry you're going through that; it's devastating when family, the people who are supposed to look out for you, are the ones to take advantage of you.

Have you checked the amounts allowed for small claims tribunal in your state (if you're in USA)? You can often make a small claim yourself, without a lawyer. But the amounts vary a lot between the states, worth checking though. It shouldn't be too difficult to get documentation from the bank showing what he did. Often, faced with a lawsuit, people will negotiate and pay back the money.

http://law.freeadvice.com/resources/sma ... courts.htm


_________________
I think I'm a not so typical NT
Your score: 106/200 (Aspie), 110/200 (NT)
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits
AQ 23/50, EQSQ-R EQ 34 SQ 93 (Extreme Systemizer)


hartzofspace
Supporting Member
Supporting Member

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,138
Location: On the Road Less Traveled

18 Apr 2012, 10:56 am

nomadder wrote:
I'm sorry you're going through that; it's devastating when family, the people who are supposed to look out for you, are the ones to take advantage of you.

Have you checked the amounts allowed for small claims tribunal in your state (if you're in USA)? You can often make a small claim yourself, without a lawyer. But the amounts vary a lot between the states, worth checking though. It shouldn't be too difficult to get documentation from the bank showing what he did. Often, faced with a lawsuit, people will negotiate and pay back the money.

http://law.freeadvice.com/resources/sma ... courts.htm

The woman at the Surrogate court said that it would cost me more than the amount of money stolen to try to go after him legally. Besides, he will have spent it all by now. He is a first class loser; he isn't employed, and skips around the US visiting relatives. If I were to sue him, I would just end up spending money I can't afford to show him he is wrong. I will have to just let this go.

But thanks for the link. I will keep it for for future reference!


_________________
Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.
-- Dr. Dale Turner