This may be obvious to you, but you're feeling like a waster because you're not satisfying a certain desire..
I used to place it into lacking a certain partner or something, continued to lose it 10 times worse when with someone.
Personally I found my calling in music and the pursuit of knowledge (study).
What inspires you? What interests you? What hurts you?
The answers to these questions should give you an idea of where to start working.
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All hail the new flesh, cause it suits me fine!