I am afraid of/for my husband

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He has been voicing odd ideas about seemingly random people. He thinks one of our neighbors, who's never done or said anything out of line to me and who seems really nice, is out to harm us by putting roofing nails in the yard (we re-roofed 2 years ago, btw, maybe we just didn't get up all the nails?? But when I said that, he scoffed) and that one of his oldest acquaintances sabotaged his truck and that his other old friend (?) has possibly killed someone and so has his former boss, and that one of his former coworkers at the restaurant bragged about getting gang-banged by bikers and that the pope is still a practicing nazi--and other weird things like that. He picked me up from work Friday and told me that we were going to move from Alabama to Oregon by the end of the week!! ! Like I could just up and quit my job, and with no significant savings and with a 3 yo child and child support payment for my 2 older ones? By Sunday night he'd moderated his "plan" to move. But he's always thought moving to the Pacific Northwest would solve all our problems.

He's been extremely irritable ever since our son was born. He'd never physically harm me, I don't think, and he says none of his anger is directed at me, but there are holes in the wall and some of the door frames are loose and he gets very sarcastic and caustic. He hasn't had a real job for more than 6 months the whole time we've been together because every time things get stressful and conflicts come up, he quits. He has a Masters degree in secondary education and is extremely intelligent and handsome but works as a waiter, a stagehand and other odd jobs for as long as he can stand them. He's let his teaching credentials lapse and has a million handy excuses for not renewing them.

He used to only do stuff like this when he'd been drinking, but now he's not drinking and he's still doing it.
I'm not sure what I want from posting this--advice, sympathy, to be told off by an anti-papist or what. But I do wonder what his deal is.

Does he seem depressed? Depression can make a person a tad paranoid. But it almost seems like he is becoming a paranoid schizophrenic.

It sounds like he's got something going on with him thats not right. I am no professional nor expert but I think it could be anything from a brain tumor (those cause people to go crazy sometimes, but they can also be benign or even a cyst), or drinking in secret (vodka nor Everclear smell on your breath), or possibly developing a mental illness. Also, crystal meth causes that kind of thing. You may say he's not doing it, but you would be surprised at what kinds of people do it for real. They aren't all stereotypical tweakers.

I live in Alabama too and you can PM me if you want and I can try and find you some info for where you're at.

I don't know if you could talk him into going to a doctor, but that would be the best thing to do. If he's got periods where he's normal, maybe you could tell him that you are concerned and that he could have a tumor and if you got him to the doctor to get that ruled out, then the doctor would probably send him to a psychiatrist for the other if he noticed the paranoia.

If it's drugs, that's gonna be harder, as is secret drinking.

I don't really know what to tell you to do about this. You could possibly get some help from DHR because you have a child, and his behavior could conceivable put the child in danger, even if he wouldn't ever do anything like that but on paper they could use it for justification to help you, BUT I am not a fan of DHR AT ALL, and getting them involved is always an iffy thing.

Can you take the baby and go stay with relatives or friends for a while? Just go there and tell him after you're gone why you left and that you won't come back until he gets some help?

I noticed you said "told off by an anti-papist" LOLOL! I know what you mean! Alabama is not the friendliest place for Catholics and it's worse out here in the boonies where I live. My kids teacher in maybe 6th grade told the class "Catholics worship Mother Mary, not Jesus". He almost said something but didn't, because it was our first year down here and everybody knew he had gone to five years at SFX and they were pretty suspicious of Catholic school lol. He just let it slide though and came home and told me. That was public school he was at when they said it, not Cahawba Christian. We were the ONLY Catholic family in pretty much the whole county and when we moved down here our choices were that one in Montevallo that I can't think of the name of, on 119, or St Francis University Parish in T-town or Holy Spirit in T-town. Both were about 45 mins away so we just stopped going and instead stuck to fending off those who wanted desperately to get us saved.

Anyway, I'm assuming you're Catholic, so have you thought about talking to your priest? Depending on what diosece you are in, they might could help cover bills for the doctor or something if you can convince him to go. Also if he's Catholic too and ya'll go to Mass, then maybe if you could get the priest to talk to him about it?

I really don't know what to tell you, but your post jumped out at me when I read it and I do feel for you and wish I knew how to help. I'd guess that first you need to decide how you are going to handle it, then find resources to help you handle it. If you have an idea of what you want to do, United Way Information and Referral (usually they run a local Crisis Center and you could call there to be transferred to them) have huge binders listing all sorts of organizations throughout the state where you can get all kinds of help.

Also, maybe if you talk to somebody at the county mental health place they could help you assess the situation and make a plan about what to do.

Please post back and let us know what's going on, and you can PM me if you want to talk about it more but not so much in public.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

maybe he is getting depressed from not having a job and the stress of it is making him go a lil crazy. May wana see someone about it.

He seems really paranoid, and I think he should definitely see a doctor. Maybe if you spoke to the doctor in private before the appointment, that might be helpful too.
In any case, protecting yourself and your child is #1.

Your instinct is right--he's drinking again. Unlikely mental illness if he's had no history, although probably depressed from lack of real job as others said.

Sweet Pea hugs