being ugly

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Right.

I think sarcastic remarks about Vigilans' skills at perception are needlessly hostile.

f**k this vulnerability. I'm a piece of s**t, I'm a scumbag, this is not something I should fight. I'm going to do what I've done for most of my life and push it all back down and pretend it's not there. If it bubbles up and starts spilling out again I've always got the bottle of percocet I haven't touched. That's a reliable solution. I'm too f****d up to start trying to fix it now.

Hating your face is your choice. You've decided you look ugly, regardless of what others have told you. But... what does it matter?

Yes, you definitely need a distraction, and fewer mirrors.

.

Like so many, you're your own worst enemy. Who needs bullies when you can beat yourself up worse than anyone else ever could??

Please... there are people who can help you change the way you see yourself, which is currently with very distorted glasses! I find it very hard to believe you're anywhere near as awful as you think you are, and I doubt it's true. Unfortunately, YOU need to make the step towards the people that can help you...

Please do... you deserve it.

You are so hard on yourself, love. Don't let the words of unkind people affect your perception of yourself. I can assure you you have a gorgeous face and a wonderful mind. Don't waste it's capabilities with self-loathing! You really are a great and generous person.

I also think DiscardedWhisper did mean well, and was correct in saying it is risky to put one's pic out there. But his "tone" really wasn't context appropriate, and the way he went about saying it seemed condescending or patronizing to me. In any case when I wrote "they should be ashamed of themselves" I was more directing that at the other guy who accused you of attention seeking with this thread. Now *that* was a dick move, intentional or not.

Hmm, this is the 2nd time you have called me out here, you're quite the outstanding citizen yourself aren't you? If you had actually read my follow up comment, rather than looking at the negative and running with it. You would have saw that I explained my comment and actually attempted to give some advice on the matter also. So no, I dont feel "ashamed of myself". And you are no better for trying to insult me. If you really want to go further you can take it up with me in a PM, as I don't feel its appropriate to derail a thread due to whatever grievance you have with me.

Hey, you're at a site populated with aspies. One of the HALLMARK traits of an aspie is SEEMINGLY harsh statements. We constantly say things that are taken to mean something completely different from our actual intentions because "sensitive" people decide our TONE is inappropriate. Leave off the tonal judgement and just read the words. You will gain a greater understanding and have to apologize less for your aspersions.

I admit to being a little put off at first by the post about attention seeking, but if you can set aside your judgement until you read all the words, you might see a little sense in the meaning of the post rather than a simple negative judgement. (I mean, people DO seek attention all the time - it's not necessarily a bad thing, it just is. We do what we need to get by.)

I'm not trying to cast negative judgement on your post, Vigilans, just trying to get you to see another perspective. I hope I didn't mess it up. I work very hard at not being misunderstood but often fail.

What?



I did read it, it changed nothing. You said something nice yeah, I don't doubt you have good intentions, but you also still attempted to justify that this is attention seeking that should be marginalized .



I know you don't, which is unfortunate, since I know the effect your post actually had. I'm not interested in PMing you. Nor did I insult you. I described your behavior as a dick move, I did not imply anything about your person.

Wow, aspies, acting like aspies on an aspie dedicated forum. Totally.....new.....concept.....

For the last time, I wasn't intending to insult the girl. I was only questioning the act of divulging self-information on the internet.

Sorry, I don't know how to be "tactful". Maybe it's all those years of people treating me like s**t.

Maybe we should derail this derailment now, the argument is getting increasingly pointless.

I'm curious how you get me accusing you of trying to insult her, when the post you quoted starts with me saying you both meant well and were correct in your advice. Whatever though man,

ok, peoples - please chill out.

keep in mind that this is the Haven, where we expect that people will try extra-hard to be kind to each other and to show sensitivity. no AS excuses here, because even the most affected members are generally able to accomplish this. no need for extreme reactions from people who feel misunderstood or bitter - this area of WrongPlanet is not your playground for that. if you don't feel like you can understand the OP's situation, then ask questions and try to gain understanding or... step back and observe.

also, please remember that if you see a member behaving badly, the moderators can assist with that. no need to get into a flame war here. thank you.

When I was an infant, I was kidnapped. I wasn't found for two years. I don't remember a thing. I didn't speak before I was four years old and I assume that means I wasn't in the best environment. Sometimes I wonder if something dark was planted in my mind then that made me this way.

It's possible as it's something traumatic you may not have been able to put aside... (not saying it's easy as I know it's not)
I'm sorry for what you went through.

meems, I can't see your response.

Sorry, I'm posting from my phone and it sometimes screws up my posts.

I think I said...hmm. I wonder if there's some way I can remember what happened. It was a family member that kidnapped myself, my sister, and our two cousins. 3 girls, 1 boy. They dressed us all as boys and gave us male names and my sister being the oldest of all four of us, she remembers a lot. She remembers that when our hair was cut off I became upset and cried and attempted to cover my head and I ended up being locked in a closet for most of a day.

She has a lot of guilt and still feels like she was supposed to protect me but she was only a child as well so all she could do was watch when I became combative and the adults around us used abusive tactics to stop me from biting/kicking/scratching. I don't remember anything but I imagine that could have done something to my mind maybe?

But how do I get beyond what I can't remember?

There's more to you than looks, I think. Focus on what you're good at (someone will probably appreciate these abilities) and instead of getting to know drunk people at a party, meet people where you're more likely to meet someone likeminded.