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I just found out recently that I have AS. No formal diagnosis, but I pass the online tests with flying colors and a lot of what I've been reading makes a lot of sense. I always had difficulty connecting with people and have always had few friends. I have been diagnosed with ADHD and I take medication for that. Finding out that I have this has been a relief. It has also been quite painful as I remember the loneliness of my youth making me re-live many painful and sometimes humiliating experiences. My marriage has been on the rocks for the past year. We struggled with the ADHD then with the various nuances of the medications. I feel more focused and calm, but my marriage has not improved at all. Counseling has been tried and failed. We have a two year old son and we both work while my wife is also taking three classes. The stress has been increasing, the marriage deteriorating. After an argument last week, she told me to look up aspereger's. When I read about the inability to empathize, describe feeings, or show emotions, I was hooked. My need for routine and the distress that occurs when those routines are interrupted. I know that it has cause a great deal of trauma to my wife and serious damage to the relationship. I was hoping that finding this out would have given her some perspective. I have been in really bad shape since she told me to ask my therapist about me moving out and staying at an apartment we own - a renter just left leaving it open until December. He doesn't think it's a good idea, but she still does. She said that she has too much resentment and bitterness toward me to be around me. She rejected any idea of us learning about AS together. Separation can work if both partners works on themselves, but she'll never admit that there's anything that she can do differently - she say that I need time to gather perspective. She layed down to take a nap after this conversation. Instead of me doing the same as she suggested (she wanted me to wait for my son to get up), I grabbed a duffel bag and left. I did not want him to see his dad looking like a total train wreck. I'm alone and hurting bad. We talked on the phone once and I think she's happier not having me around. This really hurts and I don't know what to do. It's a real slap in the face to finally find out what much of the problem has been all along, that there are ways I can improve things, only to find out that it's too late to fix my marriage.

I hate to see relationships go asunder. Since it seems like there was abuse involved, perhaps you two mill miss each other and reconcile. Never say never.

There was no actual abuse other than me being a total insensitive jerk at times. We have talked on the phone - so I hope your premonition rings true. this really sucks.