Do relatives ever embarrass you?

Post Reply New Topic

My auint sometimes embarrasses me with her behavior. It really depresses me.

I am a very impressionable person, and feel it effected me growing up.
It influenced who I am. I have changed though, but it took me a long time to correct my behavior.

It still depresses me.

I used to be embarrassed by most of my family when i was a kid. I even had this important event when i was 18 and i didn't invite my family at all, i didn't even tell them about it. As it happens they got auto invited by mail so i never really had a choice, but i was fully expecting to finish and find that when everyone else had their families i'd just be on my own. I was even ok with that, i was kinda surprised to see them when it ended. I do feel guilty now that i was a little rude to them that day. Not through saying anything, just i didn't want them there, and although i was nice to them i wasn't happy they were there and i can't help but think i ruined the day for them .

I never liked my family growing up. My mum was too passive, she was like an idiot that just let things happen to her. My brother was a brat that didn't give a f**k about anyone but himself, he was just insanely selfish, and totally out of control. My sister was becoming just as much of an idiot as my brother. I was behaving and getting ignored. My dad was just a grown up idiot version of my brother. When i'd occasionally get dropped off at school by my dad i'd wish to be dropped off round the corner.

When i left the area i'd grown up in for the first time i barely ever came home to visit for literally years. Like 2-3 times a year max for a good 3 years, i was so happy to be away.

I know that one... A lot of my family really, really don't appreciate AS, and tease me which I, of course, end up taking too literally. It seems to be a fact of life that some people are embarrassing, and within that group of people, several of them will be related to you.

Perhaps it is because the family social group understands each other and doesn't embarrass each other, while we with AS are apart from the group, and see the strange, embarrassing behaviour for what it is. This is not restricted to family, it is the same with friends, and those who are definitely not my friends.

I remember my mum saying something that REALLY embarrassed me when I brought my first boyfriend home. I was 16, and my boyfriend was Autistic but always admitted it to everyone he met (I have always been the sort to keep my condition to myself and get upset if people mentioned it), and when he opened up about his condition, my mum said something like, ''I won't say about Jo, she screams if I mention it'' and inwardly I was like, ''Mum! !! !'' As if I was going to scream in front of my first boyfriend because of somebody mentioning something I don't like! If my mum wasn't sure how I would react then she should at least not have said that. Hopefully he didn't listen to her properly when she said that.

Sweet Pea hugs

As far as my family goes, there are many generations of abuse of all imaginable sorts and nothing but denial floating around about it.

For most of my life, I was afraid that I was the one that was embarrassing my family. Now, I recognize that I don't want anything to do with them. I feel a lot of guilt over wanting to sever all ties with them, but yeah, they are ridiculously toxic. I faced physical, sexual, emotional and neglectful abuse from most of the members of the family who were supposed to take care of me when I was younger, and I faced a lot of people telling me to "just get over it" or "you brought it all upon yourself" whenever I tried to say that I didn't like what was going on.

I know that there are families out there that are even more dysfunctional than mine is, and that reality makes me feel very sad. Nobody deserves to be born into a situation like this.

KagamineLen, your situation sounds quite similar to mine. I don't know that there are many generations of abuse in my family, I just know that by their hyperneurotypical standards I embarrassed them by my behaviour. Even though it is my family and I have no wish to cut ties with them, nevertheless a high level of GUILT is employed to make me keep in contact.

Without mentioning a whole range of embarrassing situations my family has caused me, when I was chatting on the phone with an aunt she jumped to conclusions that just because someone like me uses the Internet a lot, it must necessarily mean involvement in child porn downloading and distribution.

yep, relatives and friends of family always do. make me feel like such a f*****g failure i shouldnt even bother