All I tried to do was help and I get sh*t on.

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OMGitsKenny
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12 Jan 2013, 7:55 pm

Bluemax, you are awesome. Enough said.


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12 Jan 2013, 8:02 pm

Stargazer43 wrote:
I'm sorry to hear about that BlueMax, I've always found you to be one of the nicer and more helpful members on this forum. But unfortunately, on the interwebs many people are willing to be far ruder and meaner than they would be in person, due to the degree of anonymity. I personally don't think it's right that you should have to deal with that kind of behavior on a forum that is largely meant to be a support forum, but you can't change people's actions. If what they said was enough of a personal attack you might want to report them to a moderator.


This is what I've been trying to say all night. Wrong Planet, for me anyway, has totally ceased to be a support forum.

Does a support forum make you leave, feeling like s**t? NO.

Do your "friends" on a support forum suddenly stop answering your PMs for no reason? NO.

Is the purpose of a support forum to try to convince it's members that they're deficient? NO, IT ISN'T.

There are some serious issues with Wrong Planet at the moment, and something has to be done. People like BlueMax are being flamed and bullied for no reason, and this needs to stop.

Be it a "Great Member Purge", more strict rules, a more loose ("You're an as*hole, BYEEE!) style of moderation, a "report" button, "like" and "dislike" buttons, something has to be done.

I only joined this site in the Summer of 2012, and things have gotten noticeably worse since then. I was actually planning to post my attention-whoring "Goodbye" thread today, but no, why should I have to leave?

I plan to discuss at length with moderators these issues.


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12 Jan 2013, 8:19 pm

... I'm just gonna go on a long rant so instead I'll just try to leave instead. No use complaining.



aspiemike
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12 Jan 2013, 11:10 pm

Curiotical wrote:

This is what I've been trying to say all night. Wrong Planet, for me anyway, has totally ceased to be a support forum.

Does a support forum make you leave, feeling like sh**? NO.

Do your "friends" on a support forum suddenly stop answering your PMs for no reason? NO.

Is the purpose of a support forum to try to convince it's members that they're deficient? NO, IT ISN'T.

There are some serious issues with Wrong Planet at the moment, and something has to be done. People like BlueMax are being flamed and bullied for no reason, and this needs to stop.

Be it a "Great Member Purge", more strict rules, a more loose ("You're an as*hole, BYEEE!) style of moderation, a "report" button, "like" and "dislike" buttons, something has to be done.

I only joined this site in the Summer of 2012, and things have gotten noticeably worse since then. I was actually planning to post my attention-whoring "Goodbye" thread today, but no, why should I have to leave?

I plan to discuss at length with moderators these issues.


I think you will have an easy time when you get older. Very articulate and well spoken for a 15 year old.



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12 Jan 2013, 11:28 pm

Just want to add some good thoughts to all. LM


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Fnord
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12 Jan 2013, 11:35 pm

Logicalmom wrote:
Just want to add some good thoughts to all. LM

Okay ... what are they?


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Shau
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13 Jan 2013, 12:00 am

I haven't always paid very much close attention to the forums so I have no idea if it's ever had a "golden age" that has perhaps passed by now, but I'll say this:

For the most part, we Aspers are fairly wounded people. We live in a world filled with NTs that very frequently treat us like s**t, and this has unfortunately colored our perceptions of other people. We see our interactions with others on this site through the lens of our multiple failed or bad interactions with NTs and this has likely resulted in a lot of hostility...

...especially between the sexes. The men have been burned or at best ignored by the NT woman, the women have seen countless mountains of misogyny thrown at them, and it has clearly created a lot of tension.

Mr. Bluemax, it is my opinion that you can be quite touchy, especially around women, but I've never been of the impression that you are fundamentally some kind of bad guy. However, in a thread like the one Meems posted, she's going to be a powderkeg easily detonated with the smallest spark because she was describing something extremely traumatic, you should show the UPMOST tact in such a situation, especially given that you two apparently have butted heads before. I'm not blaming you for anything here, just helping you to understand why things went so sour.

Keep your chin up mate, you've got people in your corner.



2wheels4ever
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13 Jan 2013, 12:52 am

Here I was, thinking B'Max was almost too cool, calm, and collected - doesn't this guy ever have a Mel Gibson moment? And then I stumble on this. Sorry you're dealing with this Max - your input on threads is consistently level-headed from what I've seen, and entertaining at times. They are a part of what keeps me coming back to WP and it wouldn't be the same to not see your av on the threads


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BlueMax
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13 Jan 2013, 1:20 am

Whew... what a day it's been. More ups 'n downs than a rollercoaster. Crazy crap on the forums, the anticipation of spending the day with my kids at the pool, the hectic preparation, the flat tire once I got to the car, the triumph of fixing the problem myself long before roadside assistance could get to me, the soaked pants from having changed a tire in 12" of snow (NOT an exaggeration!) the angry ex-wife since the party guests were all waiting on me to provide dinner, the relief of content, fed party guests and the kids getting their goody-bags, then 3 hours of almost-too-physical fun in the pool, then the surprise demand for more money from the ex... then all the positive messages on here.

Let's just say I'm ready to collapse with a contented smile. :hic:

I think I just got pushed to the breaking point because of pretty bad sleep-deprivation... I try to keep a little more calm and collected as a general rule. (When dealing with my crazy family and in-laws, it's very a good skill to cultivate!!) I've even had good counseling and took a long course on anger management (demanded by the ex, but I'm glad I went anyway.)

I just have to remember that some humans are not rational for a million possible reasons. They'll cry, scream, rage, rant, etc. for all the wrong reasons or even none at all. Even though it may be directed at me, if I'm not the cause, I should really just remember to ignore it and not waste another neuron firing over it. ;) After all, sometimes people just enjoy poking and annoying someone until they crack, then enjoy the drama of pointing to the person having a freak-out and get everyone to join in mocking laughter.

It's not just one, there's about 2-3 people that enjoy following me around to pick apart my posts and try to group-mock me whenever they get the chance - and these stupid vendettas get started over the most ridiculously tiny things. One small slight and some people will follow you demanding enormous revenge forever - like a relentless, enraged badger.

Enough ranting... I think it's been a good day now that the rollercoaster is over. :) I am gonna' SLEEEEEP tonight! (Pity not with my good-lookin' ex-wife though! She may be getting pudgy like I am, but I still think she's a total hottie and that caring still exists, no matter how much crap she's dished out over the years.)

And here's a fun song about badgers that'll burrow into your brain and loop endlessly in your sleep!
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIyixC9NsLI[/youtube]



B19
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13 Jan 2013, 1:22 am

Blue Max, you were one of main reasons I chose to register on Wrong Planet - I'm new here only registered last night - you were the first person whose messages I read that I really identified with. That was so meaningful to me. Please don't go away. Nasty people are in every walk of life and every place, there's no way to totally avoid them apart from becoming a complete hermit. There are tank fillers and tank emptiers. You're a tank filler for me.



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13 Jan 2013, 3:42 pm

'All I wanted to do was help and I get sh*t on"

Maybe that was what you wanted to do, but I do not think that was what came out in what you said.

BlueMax wrote:
Well, at least now I know WHY you hate me so much...


You start off making a statement the OP hates you. Unless you were told that by the OP that is an assumption and accusative. This seems an attempt to bring up a grievence you have with the OP, which is being hated and not knowing the reason. Your not really talking about the topic here, but yourself and your own issue.

BlueMax wrote:
I hope you get the guy and the charge sticks because genuinely abusive, dangerous as*holes who rape, kick and attack others are not only a danger to their victims, but also tarnish the entire gender or ethnicity they represent.


You do have some supportive words to say but once again bring it back again to yourself not liking that this 'tarnishes the entire gender'.

BlueMax wrote:
Hell - I wish I could send you money to continue the fight against this as*hole. (If I did that I wouldn't be able to mount my own legal fight to rescue my kidapped children.)


Saying you would do something just if... well thats just kinda lame.

So no I don't think you were just trying to be helpful. You made it primarily about you and concerns of your own totally unrelated to the topic and I can certainly understand the OP getting mad. If you read the OP's response, you were called out on these points pretty directly.

You follow up with this post which is an appeal for support against the OP, and in such a crude way as I can not respect. When is enough enough ? Do you really want to add insult to injury ?



meems
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13 Jan 2013, 4:09 pm

Toy_Soldier wrote:
'All I wanted to do was help and I get sh*t on"

Maybe that was what you wanted to do, but I do not think that was what came out in what you said.

BlueMax wrote:
Well, at least now I know WHY you hate me so much...


You start off making a statement the OP hates you. Unless you were told that by the OP that is an assumption and accusative. This seems an attempt to bring up a grievence you have with the OP, which is being hated and not knowing the reason. Your not really talking about the topic here, but yourself and your own issue.

BlueMax wrote:
I hope you get the guy and the charge sticks because genuinely abusive, dangerous as*holes who rape, kick and attack others are not only a danger to their victims, but also tarnish the entire gender or ethnicity they represent.


You do have some supportive words to say but once again bring it back again to yourself not liking that this 'tarnishes the entire gender'.

BlueMax wrote:
Hell - I wish I could send you money to continue the fight against this as*hole. (If I did that I wouldn't be able to mount my own legal fight to rescue my kidapped children.)


Saying you would do something just if... well thats just kinda lame.

So no I don't think you were just trying to be helpful. You made it primarily about you and concerns of your own totally unrelated to the topic and I can certainly understand the OP getting mad. If you read the OP's response, you were called out on these points pretty directly.

You follow up with this post which is an appeal for support against the OP, and in such a crude way as I can not respect. When is enough enough ? Do you really want to add insult to injury ?



This.

BlueMax, I may have reacted harshly, but I was laying bare in that thread some horrific events which have made my life a living hell for a while now. It wasn't the place for you to come in and assert your theories about me hating you. I wasn't trying to make you feel s**t on, I was trying to let you know that you make me feel s**t on when you repeatedly take things I've said and try to make my words out to be a reflection of how I see you, when in reality they have nothing to do with you.

Despite what you've said both publicly and privately, I will again state that I do not hate you. My posts generally have nothing to do with you.

That is all.


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13 Jan 2013, 4:39 pm

meems wrote:
BlueMax, I may have reacted harshly, but I was laying bare in that thread some horrific events which have made my life a living hell for a while now. It wasn't the place for you to come in and assert your theories about me hating you. I wasn't trying to make you feel sh** on, I was trying to let you know that you make me feel sh** on when you repeatedly take things I've said and try to make my words out to be a reflection of how I see you, when in reality they have nothing to do with you.

Despite what you've said both publicly and privately, I will again state that I do not hate you. My posts generally have nothing to do with you.

That is all.


This is to Toy Soldier as well, who may not be aware how long she's been sh*****g on me, which is almost every freaking thread we both happen to be in.

Yeah, I could've showed my support without bringing up the constant feud but it IF that were a big reason FOR the feud, it could also go a long way to ending this stupid thing.

Meems: Except that just can't be true - you s**t on me in almost every thread we both happen to be in. (You're not the only one, but the worst.) You negate my opinions, advice and comments and try very hard to make other people think poorly of me, and you'll even use your own horrible experiences to your benefit if it accomplishes the goal of harming me. If that's not "hate" than what the hell makes you attack me every single time we cross paths?

Once and for all, publicly... what on earth did I ever say or do to you that changed you from a friend to such a permanent adversary? Was it your big thread where you were being hit on constantly and I didn't like the advice the gals were giving to be really aggressive and rude, telling all approachers to "f**k off"? Did you somehow associate that with protecting the as*hole who attacked you?
What was that one big thing that made you decide you'd s**t on me every time you saw me and get others to join in?
Almost more importantly - what'll it take for it to STOP?? Bear in mind, I won't bow & scrape in public apology for something I never actually did.



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13 Jan 2013, 5:02 pm

I can't make it any clearer, and I will not indulge this utter BS anymore.

I am no longer going to reply to you on the forums, and as stated, if I receive even one more PM I will just take it to a moderator. If you think something I post is about you I'd suggest you go to a moderator as well because I'm done trying to explain this to you.


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BlueMax
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13 Jan 2013, 5:22 pm

You haven't tried to explain anything! You just repeat the phrase, "I don't hate you" while your actions say otherwise.

Walking away also does nothing to SOLVE the problem. So we still don't know the source of the problem OR the solution...

*sigh* I'm going to wager that "sweeping it under the carpet" won't solve the problems around here or the own rage you feel inside.



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13 Jan 2013, 5:27 pm

OK, enough of the blood letting. It is clear that BlueMax and Meems are not going to get on any time soon. The moderators are not going to get involved in a he said she said dispute but we cannot allow this ongoing fighting to continue. So, the solution is going to be that neither of you responds to the others posts any more. Neither of you send PMs to the other. There are to be no posts made about the other or alluding to the other. Contravention of this enforced truce may result in suspension.


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