I HATE college, and its so-called "students"

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I went to a community college, and I'm glad I did. The college I went to is an urban college where most students have jobs and families to attend to, as well as school. I just attended, and then went home. I didn't make any friends, nor did I care to. I didn't have to live in a dorm with smug preppies who are just in a big university to please their parents, and who don't have to study because a $200k a year job at Daddy's company is their birthright. They study "business" and humanities, party, then walk into the executive suite ahead of people who are qualified because getting a job in America is all about who you know and which family you were born to and very little about what you know and what you can accomplish.

It's not you, the system is sick and corrupt and needs a do over. We have an aristocracy in this country, and it's well on its way to becoming like the aristocracies of the Old Continent where you were born into wealth or poverty, and there you stayed. I suppose the only thing worse is the caste system of India where you "deserve" the caste you're born into, and thus the upper castes abuse the lowers with impunity. University is pointless unless you were already born into wealth and privilege, and can network with those of like birth.

I recommend reading some stuff by Wayne Root, he runs a sports betting outfit and admits that he became rich in spite of, not because of, his Columbia University education. Columbia from his POV was a lucky sperm club, and here he was, the butcher's kid from Brooklyn and WAY out of his element. Intelligence matters little in this country, what matters is being in the lucky sperm club (a term coined by Donald Trump, who himself was born into a half-billion-dollar fortune). I plan to simply retreat to the woods like some others have suggested, grow my own food, and wait for the collapse.

See I don't believe there will be a "Collapse" nor do I want there to be one..

It's not society that I have a problem with, it's people. People who lie and aren't punished for it. People who slack off and still expect to be well off. People who purposefully set out to cause me problems.

That has been my key motivator, and it has gotten me this far and will take me to graduation. It does little to relieve that bitter black hole in my social existence, however.



I am not sure what you mean by this. Please elaborate.

I tried going to a college "party." Miserable experience of boredom and overstimulation, and not one I ever intend to repeat. I have no problem with drinking, as I love to begin a weekend with a couple beers and a good movie, though I do not see the appeal of getting completely shitfaced.

The problem for me seems to be that I am unlike anyone else I have ever found in college. I have shifted through every relevant student organization and academic group I could possibly find on campus. I don't disconnect with everyone, but I connect with no one.

I almost wish I decided to go to a larger school. I imagine part of the issue is that it is purely a numbers game. With a higher concentration of students comes a higher concentration of students I might connect with. I wish I did not choose to go to a smaller college, although it is obviously too late to remedy and is not worth lingering regret.

Your vitriolic mindset is casting undue bleakness onto the majority of people you've come into contact with and that will lead into a path of loneliness that you expressed you didn't want to be a part of. You're judging people at face value under a glaringly harsh light based on what you think you know of them. Forget about what you think you know and loosen up. Even the way you express yourself comes off as excessively stiff and formal. I think you've put too many barriers up in your own mind and have become bitter about the world around you.

I'm not saying you have to look at everyone as though they're flying around doing loop-de-loo's near rainbows and marshmallow clouds, but whenever you think so negatively about those around you, stop yourself and ask if that's really an accurate description and why you feel that way. If you determine a concrete reason why you dislike someone or a group of people, you can fall back on that rationale instead of lashing around generalized thoughts in your mind.

Reflect on your bitterness rather than steeping yourself in it, else you'll lose sight of the forest, choosing to stare intently at one tree. And this will lead toward your social downfall.

I am usually able to contain it in day-to-day interactions, nor is it usually as overt as when I made the OP. I am not sure how much of the emotion beneath the surface shines through, but if enough does then this may be correct.



I would argue I have enough empirical evidence to judge many people. Now, I do admit I don't have enough empirical evidence to judge everyone, which makes my OP abnormally harsh, but I do deny that it is all based on "what I think I know" given the experiences I have had with people here.

How does one "loosen up?"



I like the English language. I'm not sure how formal language necessitates having a barrier up in my own mind, but I do concede that both do exist albeit unrelated to each other. I perceive the world systematically, which is why my language comes out the way it does. The barrier you speak of is more related to frustration and crushed expectations, which probably were too high to begin with.



That is definitely good advice, especially toward those I haven't directly experienced undesirable behavior from. To do this with every single person I come into contact with is mentally exhausting, though. I probably ought to adopt a default attitude of neutrality rather than of negativity.



Releasing all this emotion is one way I hope to be able to reflect upon it, especially so I can analyze it when in a much more logical state (I am moreso now than I was).

I am not sure if it is healthy for me to automatically assume that the source of my frustrations are either purely internal (e.g. attitude problem) or purely external (e.g. cultural, societal). It's undoubtedly somewhere in the middle. Though I suppose what really matters is not why my frustrations are here but rather how I can ease them away. It is clearly not normal to lash out at a cultural construct like college with, as you put it, vitriol.

My objective is to learn to come to accept my negative social experience here, and hopefully leverage what I have learned from it into creating a positive social experience for when I leave in a few months. Of course, admitting that there is a negative emotion present is step #1, which is my purpose for letting myself post the OP, but the next step is to not let that emotion put me into personal or social freefall.

The more things change, the more they stay the same...check out this essay:
"College Life To-Day" - Randolph Bourne, Sept. 1912

Let go.

You're at a party and you're feeling pissed. Look at those as*holes laughing, look at them enjoying themselves feeling happy and entitled, how dare they? How dare they meander about braying about the dumbest things imaginable when I'm the one trying to really connect and indulge my mind in the greatest satisfaction that hasn't been rediscovered since the ancient philosopher's rose up and--you know what, screw it. I'm gonna go talk to them. I'm going to drink a few beers. Maybe I'll get shitfaced, why not? Maybe I'll be able to add to their conversation. Hey you know what, that felt alright.

That felt good.

And then you realize that the deepest connection you could've ever made was just reaching out and mingling with people. You have to loosen up and join in. You're attempting to swan dive through the ice into the water of social warmth. That will only result in you breaking your neck. Instead, break the ice. Loosen up.

Loosey goosey.

I've been working on this for AGEEESSS and I still suck at it..

I've worked at and/or attended colleges for most of my adult life, and I feel your pain. Some schools seem to attract certain types of students, but I still saw a lot of what you describe regardless. For me, I was liked by a lot of my professors because I was so devoted to my school work and research oriented. Having them as allies helped a lot while I immersed myself in learning. But for me, grad school was utter torture and I barely survived with alcohol as a temporary crutch.

I know and don't know that feeling.

I have entitlements because I used to be intelligent, but now I am getting C'd, D' B's instead of A's and the occasional B. I feel reduced. I can't keep up. I should be doing my homework, and when I remember, I do. I should be studying, and when I remember, I do.

I can't keep up and now there are group projects forcing me to interact. If I lose my scholarship...I WILL kill myself.

I don't drink, do drugs, have sex, or go to clubs.

I simply suck, at life.

I know and don't know that feeling.

I have entitlements because I used to be intelligent, but now I am getting C'd, D' B's instead of A's and the occasional B. I feel reduced. I can't keep up. I should be doing my homework, and when I remember, I do. I should be studying, and when I remember, I do.

I can't keep up and now there are group projects forcing me to interact. If I lose my scholarship...I WILL kill myself.

I don't drink, do drugs, have sex, or go to clubs.

I would work harder if I knew how to organize my life better. Alas, I fail at everything.

I simply suck, at life.