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bluerose
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25 Feb 2013, 4:16 pm

bitchy, whingy, stupid, gossipy, annoying, and they get all the tenderness and protection from guys while I get mockery for they have pretty faces and my face is vomit inducingly gross even with lip gloss and eyeshadow and mascara and fake eyelashes and whatnot.

its sickening how differently the same behaviour is perceived from me when i'm perceived as evil whenever i'm not f**** smiling and when I do smile they laugh at me and ask me what i'm smiling at, horseface, fugly, pigfaced girl, stop smiling, wtf are you smiling at, you should be miserable you ugly f**** .

and yes, it's guys and lesbians telling me all this but i still HATE OTHER WOMEN FOR BEING WHAT I NEVER WILL.



hartzofspace
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25 Feb 2013, 4:20 pm

What brought all this on? Do you want to talk more about it? PM if you like.


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bluerose
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25 Feb 2013, 4:21 pm

my entire life, thats what. not like its ever been different.

human nature brought this on.



Lucywlf
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25 Feb 2013, 4:32 pm

People who act like that are scum of the Earth.



Greatsharkbite
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25 Feb 2013, 5:15 pm

Considered seeing a shrink? Envy is rational to an extent, but you're view towards your appearance isn't. I mean are we talking freddy kruegger like with blood dripping from your eyes?

A face is a face.

Are a lot of guys shallow? Yes. Are their stuckup women who take advantage? Yes.

But yeah, i'd go see someone possibly about body dysmorphic disorder.



sapphireblue
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25 Feb 2013, 5:34 pm

I'm sorry. I have similar feelings myself. I think a lot of women do but don't say anything. I don't care for the women you describe but frankly most of my disgust in this regard is towards men. If they didn't do the things they do those women would have no one to play. Yes get help. I know it won't change the way things are but it will help you take things better. Easier said then done I know because I hate the way I look too. I've received similar comments myself. People are mean. *hugs* I wish I could do something, it really hurts to know your situation. It is frustrating



Tequila
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25 Feb 2013, 9:34 pm

Where is your "vomit inducingly gross" face? I haven't seen one of those for quite some time on a woman.



bluerose
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26 Feb 2013, 2:21 am

it doesnt matter freddy kruger or not, you dont have to be a monster to be in the bottom 1% of the world. its just statistics. some ppls faces have 90% likeability some ppls faces are only in the leagues of 1% of ppl. its a bell curve.

and even if you're only in the bottom 10%, it still doesnt matter if noone you ever actually meet finds you worthy of being treated as a woman, or just plain not mocking you.

most ppl are average so tehy come up with **** like unless you're freddy kruger etc. those of us in the fringe of things understand that you dont have to be freddy kruger to get treated like *** for your face, being a normal girly girl with flat cheekbones and a prominent nose will do.

its like racism, except the racists tell the remarks straight to your face and noone still gets it or doesnt think its your race even tho the racists TELL YOU ITS YOUR RACE. imagine how frustrating that is, then youll get it.

i have seen many a shrink, none thought i had BDD. i told them about the way i was treated, i got antidepressants, depression diagnosis - a depression thats dependent on outside circumstances hence can only be partially remedied by therapy, and then i left.

theres no help, unless you can suggest a therapist that'd like to have a romantic relationship with me.

thanks for understanding, sapphire :)



Greatsharkbite
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26 Feb 2013, 10:41 am

Was trying to see where your head was at or what scale you viewed yourself.

Ask yourself this is it every guy? I don't treat anyone like crap based off of appearance.

Then ask yourself is acceptance important? If it is--why is it important from these people. People who only want to get to know you off of appearances, seem like pitiful people even on a friend level.

As far as a therapist wanting a romantic relationship--if you find one ready to throw away their job to be with you by dating a patient--i'm pretty sure the therapy helped.

Maybe you don't have BDD, just as far as appearance is concerned, even if there are only some "stereotypically" beautiful people-- Interesting and intelligent people are in an even lower minority, compared to them.



LizNY
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26 Feb 2013, 12:43 pm

Reading your post reminds me of when I was in school. Are these classmates? Because thats how I recall growing up in the public school system, and it can get better.


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bluerose
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27 Feb 2013, 1:41 am

how do ppl not understand???? these are ALL PEOPLE!! ! i have nothing to ask myself becuz its EVERY GUY I EVER MEEET!! !! ! THEY ARE ALL THE SAME. college, offices, grocery stores, everywhere.
they dont like my face so to them i dont exist but I AM ATTRACTED TO THEM SO I WANT THEM TO NOTICE ME.

UR TELLING ME I HAVE TO GIVE UP ON FINDING LOVE AND IGNORE 55% of the population becuz theyre the ones that either BULLY ME OR PRETEND I DONT EXIST.
and then other women dont get it and send you on this f*** up goosechase of whats wrong with u, newsflash, theres nothing wrong with me other than the fact that noone finds me attractive.

thats it. period. thats my ONLY FLAW IS THAT IM NOT ATTRACTIVE IN A ROMANTIC WAY DESPITE TRYING EVERYTHING TO BE SO.

i see b*****s getting away with doing all sorts of s**** to ppl and they ALL HAVE BOYFRIENDS EVERY LAST b***h WHINER S***** PERSONALITY NOT FRIENDLY ARROGANT PERSON - and thats not just my opinion, thats other womens opinion of them - THEY ALL HAVE MEN BECUZ THEY ARE ATTRACTIVE.

IM THE FRIENDLIEST NICEST MOST GENEROUS WITH THE MONEY I DONT EVEN HAVE DO FAVORS FOR EVERYONE AND NO GUY WANTS ME EVER NO LESBIAN NOBODY WANTS ME CUZ OF MY FACE.

cuz thats what ppl are. thats what they want. women with pretty faces.

if ur face is certain kind of unattractive/masculine, just give up and kill yourself becuz noone will EVER WANT YOU IN A ROMANTIC WAY NO MATTER WHAT ELSE.

ive done everything had every hobby worn every dress been all kinds of smily IT DOESNT MATTER.

every1s like oh its attitude blah blah blah but the ones that know me THEY KNOW WHAT IT IS AND THEY PITY ME. there wont be any makeovers or blind dates for me they kno the drill. sometimes when we go out THEY APOLOGIZE TO ME BECUZ THEY FEEL BAD ABOUT HOW GUYS ARE IGNORING ME FOR NO REASON BUT MY FACIAL FEATURES.

THERAPY CANNOT CHANGE WHETHER SOMEONE IS ATTRACTED TO YOU OR NOT ITS ALL A MYTH. IF UR A WOMAN AND HAVE A NORMAL FACE THANK GOD BECUZ I DONT AND IT CANNOT BE CHANGED WITH ANY KIND OF ATTITUDE OR WHATEVER BS they try to sell.,

and yeah im yelling and not being normal and rational BLAH BLAH BLAH.

BECAUSE THE WORLD IS NOT RATIONAL TO ME; IS NOT RESPONDING TO MY FRIENDLINESS AND TO 55% OF THE POPULATION I AM s**** NO MATTER WHAT I SAY OR DO I AM NOT HUMAN TO THEM!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

and sry if thats not PC BUT THATS MY LIFE.



bluerose
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27 Feb 2013, 1:44 am

I AM SO F**** SICK OF NOT BEING ABLE TO JUST F**** GO OUT AND ENJOLY MYSELF BECUZ MALES AND LESBIANS HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING FOR ME!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

EVERY1 ELSE GETS ATTENTION AND FREE DRINKS AND THEN THEY HAVE THE GALL TO WHINE ABOUT IT WHILE I DONT GET S****** AND I HATE EVERY1 IN THE WORLD ABOUT IT.

ADAM LANZA OF THE BALTICS, BUT FEMALE.

U HEARD IT HERE FIRST, AND THIS CASE WILL MAKE HEADLINES EVERYWHERE.



cozysweater
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27 Feb 2013, 2:08 am

bluerose wrote:
I AM SO F**** SICK OF NOT BEING ABLE TO JUST F**** GO OUT AND ENJOLY MYSELF BECUZ MALES AND LESBIANS HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING FOR ME!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

EVERY1 ELSE GETS ATTENTION AND FREE DRINKS AND THEN THEY HAVE THE GALL TO WHINE ABOUT IT WHILE I DONT GET S****** AND I HATE EVERY1 IN THE WORLD ABOUT IT.

ADAM LANZA OF THE BALTICS, BUT FEMALE.

U HEARD IT HERE FIRST, AND THIS CASE WILL MAKE HEADLINES EVERYWHERE.


Okay. If you think there's such a thing as a "free drink" you're fooling yourself. Those girls getting all the attention and all the "free drinks"? They have to pay attention and smile at and patiently listen to the fools that bought those drinks. Are you kidding me?! Those drinks are ANYTHING but free. Have you ever actually listened to a drunken Player? These guys make "Fool" sound like a compliment.
Get it together! Dudes in bars are a dime a dozen. What you want is a decent man. Figure out where you can find a decent man. Get set up through friends, family, church, whatever. Don't do the bar scene. It's no good for real connections and relationships.
If you want a casual hookup? Yeah, go to the bar. If not? Ask your friends, family, whatever for a reference. Like a lady.



bluerose
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27 Feb 2013, 2:47 am

ive been to ALL THESE PLACES except CHURCH since religiousness is in a big minority here and most ppl dont go to church here.

i go to the bars to have fun.

doesnt mean i never go anywhere else and dont get treated AS IF IM INFERIOR TO OTHER GIRLS IN ALL OTHER PLACES AS WELL.

doesnt matter, store, school, the bus, the doctors, it doesnt matter BECAUSE MEN ARE THE SAME EVERYWHERE:D

and maybe I WANT PLAYERS TO TALK TO ME EVEN IF THEY ONLY WNAT TO F*** ME: MAYBE I WANT THAT EXPERIENCE:

ur speaking from a place of privilege cuz u can look down on certain men while ill take whatever i can get, i dont care.