Just need someone to talk to

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Just to give you a bit of a backstory last year I wanted to go to a anime convention outside of my state to meet some friends of mine and was immediately shot down by my parents even though at the time I was 22 and able to pay my own way. It kinda spiraled downward after that into my dad yelling at me that that was a stupid idea and that I couldn't trust anyone I met online lada, lada, lada.

Fast forward to this year where I've had a boyfriend for several months now (Though we've been friends for much longer) I've not told my parents though due to the earlier incident and had made plans to meet him at a anime convention. I had already bought the plane ticket, and the hotel room and was just waiting on the time to come. Now I hadn't told them about this trip either and just told them it was a con in the same city as the airport so I could just take the bus to the airport and be on my way with them none the wiser.

Now I know that's not the wisest course of action but I had to do something I needed to get away from the house and actually meet someone that I love and given how they reacted before I knew there was no way I'd get there other wise.

Well today they found out and my dad proceeded to yell at me for 30 minutes about how stupid I was to even think something like that and how people can't be trusted, and how he couldn't believe I'd lie to him like and that if I went anyway he'd lie to the police and have me arrested before I even got on the plane. Keep in mine I'm 23, own a car, and paid for the entire trip myself.

I just need someone to talk to about this whole thing. I just feel completely heartbroken at the moment and don't know what to do. I just feel like I messed up everything and ruined all the trust I'd worked so hard to build up. Trust me that's a hard thing to earn in this house.

I just think I really need to get out of this house because this isn't the first time something like this has happened and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells to keep him sedate.

You're a grown woman. Your parents shouldn't talk to you like that. This is excessive control on their part.

Is there a way you could move out?

Not really at this point. I have a very old rat that I don't want to stress out to much by moving her and a chihuahua that I am not going to leave behind but wouldn't do will in an apartment since she barks a lot when left alone. I have relatives I can stay with but they live over an hour away and right now I'm kinda tied down due to not making enough at work to cover all the bills that come with getting a house.

Like I said I just feel kinda hollow at the moment because we've been planning this trip for months and now there's just nothing to look forward to. Needless to say he's pretty upset as well.

Excessive control isn't the half of it. My mom wouldn't even help me practice for my driver's test. Now dad's using that he helped me get it against me on the list of stuff he's done right before he says he can't belive I'm lying to him after all he's done.

You have to stop this somehow. You're legally an adult. I guess you felt like you had to lie--that's understandable, but unfortunate.

Are you contributing to the household expenses at all?

I was at one point but I'm not anymore.

and I really felt like I did. If I told them what I was doing at the beginning I would have been given a flat out no and given the same lecture I just sat through.

I don't know how to stop it though. I have so much I want to tell him but every time I get a chance to I freeze up and forget it all. I did write it all down one time and that started a thing with him and my mom that had him considering suicide. Now I don't want to try it again just in case he actually does go though with it and then I have that hanging over my head for the rest of my life.

Have you gone to college or university?

You have to go out on your own, if you are able.

Why are your parents like this? They sound very odd, to me.

Do they have an ASD as well?

I've got my Pharmacy tech license but no one's hiring where I live

and I really have no idea if they have ASD or not. I live in a pretty back water area and neither of them believe in psychology. Though I do know mom was on some sort of what he called 'nerve medicine' at one time and trust me that opened a huge can of worms.

It's so odd he can be perfectly fine and friendly one minute but as soon as he finds out we haven't told him something or disagree with him he can switch to a real tyrant.

Do you live near a major city?

Even if you work in fast food or something, that would be better than depending totally on your parents.

Only if you count Kingsport or Morristown Tennessee as major cities and even those are an hour or more's drive away

I bet it's a beautiful area where you live.

I believe you really have to do something. This is not a healthy situation for you. You should try to get a better job than what you have n ow. Save some money. Try to get your own place. Why do your parents still want you to be a child?

I wish I could offer better advice. I feel for you. You don't deserve this. You're an adult, and probably a decent one at that.

Funny enough walmart's where I work now.

Yeah the scenery is beautful the people not so much. It's pretty much the definition of sterotypical small town southern life.

For some reason, I could sense that you dress in Goth-like clothes.

One of my favorite characters is the Goth girl in NCIS. She's somebody whom you could look up to LOL

You're going to have to stand up to your parents some day. I believe, unless they're totally insane, that they'll respect you for it.

Nah I'm not goth myself though I do like Abby a lot and am actually considering going back to school for lab technician. but I have to take care of this issue first before it drives me even more batty than I already am.

You're right. You have to.

You should go for Forensics, actually. That's what Abby does.

I know you feel stuck, and that you're frustrated. I would be to, if I were in your situation.

But I think you have a pretty good head on your shoulders. You seem to be thinking sensibly.

Thanks, I'm trying to. Since they know the date of that con going anywhere during that time would just be a waste so all I can do is try and recoup as much as I can. We're hoping he might be able to come down here around the end of the year if the funds get brought up. For now all I can do is call to get a refund for the plane ticket. Begin my job hunt again for maybe something in one of those town's I mentioned. (preferably Kingsport my mom's family lives there and I get along great with them.) and probably hide these costume pieces because they really aren't helping right now.

If you got the plane ticket in economy class, you might not be able to get a refund. You could get a voucher for the cost, though.

I think you'll be all right. I think you're just having a tough night right now.