when the going gets rough

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khaoz
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13 Jun 2014, 11:50 pm

Sweetleaf
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16 Jun 2014, 2:18 am

There is some stuff in there I sort of agree with, but a lot just sounds like the same old self help BS I see all the time and don't find useful in the least so here is my opinion on these:

1. I can see the value in changing something if its possible for sure...however I don't I don't think its always possible to just let go of negative thoughts about something negative, also not so sure someone is 'making them self' miserable if they are unable to do that, they are miserable but I think the author is placing the blame on the wrong thing there as I can think of a number of situations where someone isn't going to be able to just be happy and think happy thoughts about a horrible situation they can't change.

2. 'Its only a problem if you think its a problem'....WTF? yes when that lock down happened at my school the only problem was that I thought it was a problem not that there was a man with a gun walking around the school. I clearly only have depression because I think I do, all those years I already had it and just didn't know what it was called don't count I just suddenly developed it when the thought 'I might have depression' entered my head for no reason. I doubt thinking something is not a problem makes it so, though that is not to say things cannot be learned from problems one faces.

3. Not so sure one has to always change them self to change anything else, seems like kind of a useless thought....what I can't do anything to create positive change in the world unless I change myself in some undefined way? Just not sure I buy that....of course there are things one has to work on about themselves and self growth and learning is always good but one can still effect the world even if they don't change themself, people can also change in a negative way rather than a positive way.

4. Seems like a decent way to look at it I suppose, though sometimes one doesn't always end up able to do it better next time so to speak...I suppose the point of that is sort of not to beat yourself up if you 'fail' and just try to learn what you can from it.

5. Gotta disagree somewhat with that, I can name a number of times I wanted something, didn't get it and only worse things came....so to tell myself what that says would be a lie based on my experiences in life. Many of the times when something worked out it actually did make things worse not better, it wasn't like 'well in the long run this was good' that has only ever happened on very rare occasions when something not so great happens but then something else cool happens that I might have missed had it not been for that mishap but I am rarely that lucky.

6. I will appreciate the present moment if its a good moment, but I certainly have no appreciation for that lockdown at my school....I do not miss anything about that moment, then again I do have PTSD so I get to relive that moment over and over in various ways.....I would love if that didn't happen and would not miss that moment in the slightest. I also don't appreciate the moments where I was bullied and ostracized by other kids and teachers, I did not gain anything positive out of that except I have a hard time trusting anyone, but then that creates problems when trying to have good relationships with people you do care about.

7. I don't know I find that when I would like relief from pain(usually the mental hell) and am unable to attain that, I am anything but neutral or happy...sad truth of my life I suppose. Not sure how to be neutral or happy in that state....sometimes I feel quite numb which is close to neutral but that feels empty to.

8. Fear is a useful thing in some situations as it alerts your mind/body to danger which is good if you are actually in danger, not so good if you have an anxiety disorder and just randomly feel that a lot then it just gets in the way of everything. Also if one is able to overcome a fear they have then yes it is likely they will feel good about that....not a very pleasant feeling though, and I certainly don't appreciate it when I have a panic attack. It is probably a good thing I was rather afraid when I got lost out in the forest in minnesota while staying with relatives or I wouldn't have had much motivation to find my way back...and might have hung around too long and got eaten by a wolf or something had it reached nightfall.

9. I do put effort into enjoying myself, quite a bit.....doesn't seem its me not allowing myself to experience joy, more the stupid mental health issues I have. Also with the PTSD even positive 'stress' can be too much and set off some not so wonderful symptoms so sometimes I do have to stay home rather than going out even when i want to because its too much stress or I'm already feeling on edge and don't really feel like going out in public is the safest idea. I'd really prefer not to get on the bus and punch someone as a reflex because they startle me by getting on the back door behind me or something. So that bit seems to ignore that for some no matter how much they want to enjoy themelves or try to....they have mental disorders that really get in the way and make it very hard to experience joy, its not just something everyone can turn off and ignore.

10. Why would I want to compare myself to people worse off than me? thinking about that just makes me sad for them I get no joy out of thinking 'oh look that person has it worse than me, glad I am not them.' sure I am not bothered that I am not in as bad as a situation, but I am bothered that they are so I am confused how that is supposed to make someone feel better. Then of course I sometimes feel bad that I might have it better than someone yet I'm still miserable and feel like a jerk because 'I have no right to feel that way compared to that person' though I know that's not true....someone being worse off doesn't make any issues I face any less severe than they are. Aside from that I don't really compare myself to a lot of people, in that sort of sense....sometimes I identify with characters from movies/books or feel like I could have some simularities to various people I've been intrested in in my life but that is a curiosity.thing.

11. Well currently I am not a victim per say, but yes I've been a victim of a number of things....and well technically still would be somewhat since all the effects of those things have not gone away. I am a victim of having PTSD, of past bullying and ostracism....but that is not all I am, does no use to deny that aspect of myself and life experiences however. Worst thing to tell people who have been victims of things is 'you're not a victim' like if someone gets raped the appropriate response is not 'you're not a victim', if someone loses both their legs on a landmine or some terrible construction accident that is not the appropriate response, if someone suffers from a severe illness mental or physical that is likely not the appropriate response. So I feel the article goes way to far with that one since that is quite an assumption for the author to make considering all the things people can be and are victims of every day.

12. They fail to mention much of the time it can change for the worst, so 'this could change' is not always a comforting thought, sort of depends on which way it is likely to change....like if my situation changes to the point i am homeless and on the streets then I think I'd prefer for it not to have changed, but of course I'd have to make due with that and hope maybe the next change would be something positive.

13. 'Anything' is possible? Really.....does that mean I can go and get a unicorn with a horn that radiates LSD and naturally excretes MDMA through its skin? If so I want one and I would also like to meet the hookah smoking caterpillar and find out what exactly he is smoking out of that there hookah and partake depending on what it is, perhaps the LSD from the unicorn would make that possible.


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kraftiekortie
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16 Jun 2014, 9:14 am

When the going gets tough, the tough get going.



Greatsharkbite
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16 Jun 2014, 5:54 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
There is some stuff in there I sort of agree with, but a lot just sounds like the same old self help BS I see all the time and don't find useful in the least so here is my opinion on these:


2. 'Its only a problem if you think its a problem'....WTF? yes when that lock down happened at my school the only problem was that I thought it was a problem not that there was a man with a gun walking around the school. I clearly only have depression because I think I do, all those years I already had it and just didn't know what it was called don't count I just suddenly developed it when the thought 'I might have depression' entered my head for no reason. I doubt thinking something is not a problem makes it so, though that is not to say things cannot be learned from problems one faces.





I think that's true (to me at least). Honestly depression itself 'can' cause some positive change. Lets say if you're depressed because you think your life is crap.. you're depressed because you don't want your life to be crap, so you think about all the reasons your life is crap-- then you wish what your life was like, and if you think harder--you even think of ways to actually change your life from being crap and to be something positive and meaningful. Also I don't think it means "nothing is a problem" i think it means that for certain things people need to adjust their perspective a little and not view everything as a negative.



Sweetleaf
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17 Jun 2014, 1:26 am

Greatsharkbite wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
There is some stuff in there I sort of agree with, but a lot just sounds like the same old self help BS I see all the time and don't find useful in the least so here is my opinion on these:


2. 'Its only a problem if you think its a problem'....WTF? yes when that lock down happened at my school the only problem was that I thought it was a problem not that there was a man with a gun walking around the school. I clearly only have depression because I think I do, all those years I already had it and just didn't know what it was called don't count I just suddenly developed it when the thought 'I might have depression' entered my head for no reason. I doubt thinking something is not a problem makes it so, though that is not to say things cannot be learned from problems one faces.





I think that's true (to me at least). Honestly depression itself 'can' cause some positive change. Lets say if you're depressed because you think your life is crap.. you're depressed because you don't want your life to be crap, so you think about all the reasons your life is crap-- then you wish what your life was like, and if you think harder--you even think of ways to actually change your life from being crap and to be something positive and meaningful. Also I don't think it means "nothing is a problem" i think it means that for certain things people need to adjust their perspective a little and not view everything as a negative.



The thing is I am not depressed because my life 'is' crap...I mean I have some close family, even aquantinces/friends more or less and now I can breath a little easier because I am on SSI so now I for sure know I get an income every month(not a great one but better than nothing) I'd say it was worse when I was stuck in public school....problem is even if my life isn't crap per say, I still feel like crap. That is the paradox of having mental illnesses like depression.


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Greatsharkbite
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17 Jun 2014, 10:54 am

Sweetleaf wrote:

The thing is I am not depressed because my life 'is' crap...I mean I have some close family, even aquantinces/friends more or less and now I can breath a little easier because I am on SSI so now I for sure know I get an income every month(not a great one but better than nothing) I'd say it was worse when I was stuck in public school....problem is even if my life isn't crap per say, I still feel like crap. That is the paradox of having mental illnesses like depression.


Have you ever thought that maybe your depressed because your brain is trying to actively put the traumatic things that happened to you, behind you?



Sweetleaf
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17 Jun 2014, 11:39 am

Greatsharkbite wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:

The thing is I am not depressed because my life 'is' crap...I mean I have some close family, even aquantinces/friends more or less and now I can breath a little easier because I am on SSI so now I for sure know I get an income every month(not a great one but better than nothing) I'd say it was worse when I was stuck in public school....problem is even if my life isn't crap per say, I still feel like crap. That is the paradox of having mental illnesses like depression.


Have you ever thought that maybe your depressed because your brain is trying to actively put the traumatic things that happened to you, behind you?


I do not get the impression that is the case at all based on the increase of certain PTSD symptoms such as flashbacks and the associated panic attacks ...seems more like my brain is actively trying to make sure I can't escape from that. Also I've had depression since I was like 10 if not younger before anything 'traumatic' per say largely due to being picked on and ostracized by other kids and teachers for being 'different', 'weird' or whatever, parents not getting along and I am pretty sure mental issues do run in my family. Probably hurt my ability to cope with the trauma...

Also if that where the case I'd think Id be gradually feeling less depressed not more....same thing with life in general there have been some improvements but I have a hard time actually enjoying them. As for some of the earlier discussion, in my case it would be dangerous for me to try to convince myself flashback associated panic attacks aren't a problem unless I think they are...you can get disassociated and not know what is going on(because your mind is telling you to react to a dangerous situation that is not there) in which case in some circumstances it could be dangerous to me and people who might be around so I have to try to limit stress and exposure to triggering things to make those less likely, and I have valium prescribed for panic attacks.


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Greatsharkbite
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17 Jun 2014, 11:55 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
I do not get the impression that is the case at all based on the increase of certain PTSD symptoms such as flashbacks and the associated panic attacks...seems more like my brain is actively trying to make sure I can't escape from that. Also I was depressed before anything 'traumatic' per say largely due to being picked on and ostracized by other kids and teachers for being 'different', 'weird' or whatever, parents not getting along and I am pretty sure mental issues do run in my family.

Also if that where the case I'd think Id be gradually feeling less depressed not more....same thing with life in general there have been some improvements but I have a hard time actually enjoying them.


As someone who was picked on and ostracized also for being 'weird', 'different', 'quiet', etc., I can say it can fall into the category of traumatic depending on how the individual feels towards it.

PTSD sucks, I honestly don't have any words to describe how sorry that I am that you went through that.


Also in response to the bit about depression; maybe you wouldn't be less depressed, maybe your brain might be trying that much harder because you're more depressed. Its almost like climbing through a tunnel of dirt and grime to come out clean on the other end, the further you go in, the dirtier it gets. Excuse my bad analogies.

When i'm depressed my natural inclination is to reach out for others more, destress myself by enjoying my favorite activities such as listening to music and playing games, etc. Isn't that a natural response to depression? Maybe our brains our trying to help us out as much as possible because we're unhappy.