Almost got to date the man of my dreams

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How unlucky can I get? I really, really liked this man that I know, and I could tell he liked me back a little bit because he held my hand a few times, and whether that means anything or not it's still flattering and could be a chance that he would date me in a second if he had the chance. I didn't realise at the time but when I asked his friend about him she said that he's married, so I just backed off a little but still liked him and he still loved talking to me and still held my hand sometimes, just harmless flirting. But a few weeks ago I was told he had left the company that he was in, quite suddenly. I was upset, but then just today I was told by the same woman that he was going through a big crisis with his marriage and is now practically split up. I asked her if he's still around, but she said he's gone right at the other side of the country to live, so now I'll never see him again.

I feel so gutted because if he had split up BEFORE quitting his job and moving far away, then I could have seen him once more time at least and things might have looked up, even if he didn't want to get involved with another relationship for quite some time, I'm sure he would have been happy to have my contact and just see how things go from there. But to me it sounds like he's just upped and left quite abruptly, as if he wants to start a new life or something (wouldn't we all? *sigh*). I've tried looking for him on Facebook and people finder on Google, but I'm not having much luck with it. Whenever I go on Facebook it comes up with men with the same name from places like the USA, then when I type in Essex or the UK, it says ''no matches found''. Maybe he's not on Facebook but I just can't find him anywhere. I'm never going to see him ever again, and it is such a shame.

It's just my luck. Why am I so unlucky with relationships? Everybody I like or who likes me aren't available, and then when somebody does become available I still can't reach him. It's not fair. Am I not meant to have a love life, ever? Am I being punished for something? Should I go to the Pope to plead for forgiveness for whatever I did wrong in my past life or whatever?

I think the unlucky part is that you met the guy of your dreams and he turned out to be the kind of guy that, from what you've said, is married and holds hands/flirts with other women. Holding hands is a very strong flirting body language. I doubt his marriage crisis was due to him losing his job. If anything his behavior with you is indicative of why he was having marriage problems.

It may look like that from an outsider's point of view, but really I can swear to you that it isn't. Where I knew him was about 10 miles away from his hometown, and his wife didn't come this way, and he was just a colleague of this woman I talk to, and she only knows him as a colleague and doesn't know his family. She said that he has been unhappy with his wife for a long time, before I knew of him even, and so I suppose now it has suddenly come to a point where they just wanted to leave each other. This is why I feel so gutted, it would have been a perfect chance for me to get to know him more, if he was up for that. At long last I might of had a boyfriend just like the rest of my friends instead of being a lonely single spinster living with my parents.