Oh great, I'll be 25 in 6 days.

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For some reason I am not too thrilled about this.

Guess its a little hard to have much confidence when I'm just a college drop out on SSI because of mental problems that prevent working...what the hell did I even go to college for? I guess the idea of getting out of my moms house and living in the dorms even though they aren't wonderful living quarters was appealing but whatever.

I also was living at my moms house in a small little town, and did not see much in the way of jobs in that location...I had a job for a couple months when still in highschool and got fired for all kinds of reasons that made me realize how much other people can notice I suck at completing tasks, doing well under stress/chaos, am forgetful messing up what people ordered to eat ect. And I wasn't exactly a popular person always felt like an outsider and didn't have any real friends so was pretty sure they'd hire all the other people I went to school with...so I thought going to college and getting a degree would compensate for all that and I could skip over the minimum wage social jobs and become an expert in something or whatever...turns out doesn't work that way.

So anyways I don't know just venting, not sure why I care so much....and I hate when people in public ask me if I am going to school, or inquire as to what I do for a job....and I am not so sure I want to say I'm on SSI since I don't know how they'd react and there is stigma about it so usually I say not right now, and sort of imply I am considering it or looking for work.

got a degree and still on ssi. can't work in the field my degree is in.

I hate getting older. every year after 21 is depressing. turning 18 and 21 were the highlights, everything after just reminds me i am worthless.

nt people and society in general view job=who a person is. I think this is why the first thing people ask is what you do for a living and why women on dating want to know what a guy does that and to know if his life is together ie how much he makes.

I don't agree with that idea. I think people are thier personality and interests. I tend to try to establish common interest with people I talk to.

yeah so many of us were trick by the lies the education system tells about how college means you get a great paying job.


want hugs?

are you ok with birthday wishes?

I will be 46 at the end of this month. I LIKE getting older- you could not pay me to be in my 20s again. But don't be fooled, I am not anywhere near living a "normal" life. I quit high school, quit college, and even quit my first graduate program - but I went back and finally got my B.A.'s, my M.A. and I just moved (again) so I could continue in graduate school for my PhD.

I don't regard those times in my life as quitting, but more like learning experiences. It was what I needed to do at the time(s) and I have no regrets.

I've never been married, I don't have kids, and I love my life. People rarely know how to talk to me because I don't fit their idea of how I should be living my life - screw them! I see people who live "normal" lives and most of them are not happy. They're miserable and some of them don't even know why.

If I tried to live my life like everybody thought I should, I would be so miserable - that way doesn't work for me, so I stopped trying to be like everyone else and just concentrated on what I needed and wanted.

When people ask you questions about what you're doing with your life, keep in mind that it's none of their damn business - but have fun with them. Tell them you're training to be a spy, or working on the Nobel Prize in jumping rope. Hell, I don't know, but make up stupid answers to have ready for their stupid questions - if nothing else, you will confuse them, which may give you time to escape.

Good Luck!! !

_________________
Diagnosed with High Functioning Autism well into adulthood.
It's never too late to get a diagnosis.
Hell, I thought I was just weird.

i can (obviously) come off as really abrupt and my tone can sound sharpish, so feel free to ask me to clarify

Happy upcoming birthday.Don't be hard on yourself,you are really still so young but you don't know it.My daughter didn't find out what she wanted to do till her late twenties.Some people start out in college young,then realize they don't like their choice of studies and then all the student debt piles up and they can't get a job or hate the job they have.
I'm with bethmc on getting older,I wouldn't be twenty again unless I could take my fifty year old brain with me.I went straight from HS to college and tried to live on my own,work,and do full time school.I burned out quick,dropped out and don't have a degree.But I'm happy where I am with my life,all I ever wanted was a cabin in the woods and I have that,so I did fulfill one of my dreams.

I feel ya as I'm in much the same boat just a couple years younger, even dropped out of community college a few years ago. I don't like birthdays much, just living another year isn't much of an accomplishment and it just is kind of depressing comparing yourself to others at the same age. 'And yes, absolutely hate hate hate being asked if I am going to school or what my job is. I hate talking about myself to most people and avoid situations where I feel like I have to, that puts a pretty big hamper on socializing or even seeking assistance. I'm trying to jump thru the hoops now, give it all one last shot with these assistance programs but everything seems to move at a snails pace and usually ends in disappointment but I don't really have any other options and I am lucky to have what I have I guess.

A lot of people just lie when asked questions they don't want to answer in casual situations, I remember my mom told me a story about how my grandpa when they all went on vacation use to tell people that he owned a bakery or that he ran a funeral home while in reality he worked a much more menial job at the local paper mill for 50 years. It was an amusing story when I heard it the first time, why would somebody just make that up? I understand it now. I'm not sure I could do it, lying isn't something that comes very natural to me and doing it on the fly like that is pretty impressive to me. I'd be so afraid of getting called out for it. I usually just say I'm going to go to school soon or grumble something about looking for work but the economy being rough. Perhaps I should just start telling people I'm a marine biologist.

25 isn't old, infact its a really good age. Your bodies done maturing, your mind is at a good stage for self improvement and learning, you can have kids or get in shape by exercising--which at least improves the way your mind handles and deals with stress.

I completely understand you. I am 21 and don't like getting older either. Ever since I was a little kid, I have feared growing up and getting older. I currently go to school, work part-time, and live with my dad. I don't have a very positive outlook on the future either because I feel that I won't be able to find or hold down a real job when I am older. I don't like changes and I am not good in social situations. Life only gets harder as we get older. It sucks, I know. I completely understand how you feel. I wish that we could just be kids forever.

happy possible birhtday sweatleaf