I can't do the things I want to...

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pezar
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08 Sep 2014, 8:04 pm

:cry: :cry:

I can't do anything I actually want to do, and it's due to reasons related to AS comorbids. I want to write computer programs, but I have dyscalculia and can't grasp the advanced math I'd need for it. I want to fix stuff like my grandfather did, but unlike him I have dyspraxia and screw up everything I try to work on. I tried fixing iPhones and couldn't.

I got a computer technician certification that's useless, because it didn't teach me how to actually work on computers, most of it was typing and Microsoft Office type classes that were obsolete within a couple years. Even worse, I took out $10k in student loans for that (at a for profit college) and when I wound up being not able to pay I had to apply for a disability discharge.

I can't run my own business (yep, tried that too) because of theory of mind deficiencies. I ran up credit cards to start the business and one of the loans was in my mom's name and wasn't discharged in bankruptcy, so I took three years to pay that off. Because of that, I couldn't pay my student loans.

Did I mention that the "job placement center" at the "college" was worse than useless, and kept sending me to call centers, something that I knew I'd fail at, also what was the point of this $10k education if all it qualified me to do was answer phones for an insurance company, something I could do without the "education" I paid you assholes for? Even worse, I can't be a computer repairman not only because of that but because there's 10 other schools in my city turning out equally uneducated "repairmen" who troll Craigslist for customers. Look at CL, 200 postings A DAY in computer services!

So, I've failed at everything I've tried, and it's due to autism. I tried working a job as a teacher's aide for special ed students, the only job I could get because my mom worked for the school district HR dept, and I failed at that too. So, I'm 40 and have nearly no work experience, and no hope of ever doing anything with my life. I did everything right, everything that the conservatives say to do, and I failed. So I'm sitting at home in the dark with nothing to do. All the conservatives say to do is try HARDER, as if I didn't try hard enough. Then they insult me, and talk about eugenics and how people with autism don't deserve to live. Hey, I'm a eugenicist myself, but I don't have the guts to kill myself, because it would hurt, and I can't stand pain.



Tollorin
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08 Sep 2014, 11:07 pm

You shouldn't listen to conservatives. What they don't get is that it may be only a matter of time before humans are "obsolete" because of the potential future production of smarter-than-us robots, and thus useless for a produtive society. Which mean the robots, if also possesing a conservative mindset, may simply decide to let the jobless humans die, or even actively killing them for being "parasites". Human life is too precious to let such a thing to happen, you deserve to live even if you're unable to get a job!



pezar
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15 Sep 2014, 2:19 pm

No replies. I guess nobody cares. :cry: :cry:



sly279
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15 Sep 2014, 10:29 pm

hugs



Tollorin
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15 Sep 2014, 10:38 pm

pezar wrote:
No replies. I guess nobody cares. :cry: :cry:

Well, I made a reply, don't you see it? :?



pezar
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16 Sep 2014, 12:27 am

Tollorin wrote:
pezar wrote:
No replies. I guess nobody cares. :cry: :cry:

Well, I made a reply, don't you see it? :?


Oh yeah, you did write something. Thanks. It's just that some members can post about killing themselves due to say dating issues, and they get tons of sympathy. I post about my problems and get nearly zero sympathy.



MarthaCannary
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16 Sep 2014, 4:33 am

pezar wrote:
It's just that some members can post about killing themselves due to say dating issues, and they get tons of sympathy. I post about my problems and get nearly zero sympathy.


If you want sympathy... Hug.

I can relate. I did the same thing you did. I went to what turned out to be a fly-by-night IT mill. Got a whole bunch of legit looking certifications even.

A+, Cisco, Novell. Everything Microsoft had available I took the class for it and passed the exams. Including but not limited to, Certified Network Professional Microsoft Major......

Wh00pdeed00!

As you said, thousands of other students from all across the country were pouring out of their own IT mills about the same time I did... Flooded market.


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