I'm an utter disappointment

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When I was younger, I was told that life was going to be great. I was told that I'm really smart. Everyone believed that I was much much more intelligent than I really was, and they still do. Its not been a long while at all. This is still an ongoing process. But all of other people's opinions of me are based on false premises. I don't really think I've even got a brain anymore. I'm just a mistake. A horrible, horrible mistake. I shouldn't have ever existed. I'm starting to wonder whether I'll really ever account to anything at all. Whether I'll ever make something great out of my life. I don't know what I'm passionate about anymore, I don't think I'm really all that great at anything. I've become a less than mediocre person. I fear I'm turning into something even worse than the average joe. I would never have dreamt that I would have such thoughts someday. I've got more than 3 quarters of my life left, if the average life expectancy of people in my geographic location is anything to go by. I've already wasted 1 quarter of my life, and I'm scared out of my mind that I'm going to waste the other 3 quarters as well. Just the thought of this leaves me sweating. If I really am never going to do anything great, why even bother? Why not just end it all when there's still time to not become a loser in everyone's eyes? Why go on? Even though people around me seem to believe otherwise(atm, anyway), I'm afraid I've turned into an utter and bitter disappointment. I've tried a lot of things, and I've always failed. Maybe I just don't have it in me. If I'm always going to keep failing, then what's the point of trying? I've lost my will to keep myself going. Hiding behind a fake face is hard, especially when I know I'm broken inside. I adopted a fake persona to detach myself from my emotions, but now that fake persona is really all I am. Its like I've lost my real self, and I do not even know who I really am anymore.

Greetings and welcome. You've come to the right place. First of all, you haven't wasted all that time. You've discovered the problem(s), ergo you may now seek the solutions. That's how I did it and I didn't discover the problem until I was 57 - even so, once I knew what was wrong I started research. And joined WrongPlanet. Life is so much better now!

Do not give up. You are not going to "fit the mold" as they say. Of course not, why should you! You will search and discover a way to be successfully, comfortably yourself.

Please believe me when I tell you that everybody here is very familiar with the feelings you express. Keep coming back!

hiya Aspy welcome to the club

You'll find a lot of folks here, including me, are broken. I guess then this is the perfect place for us. I feel safe here among "my kind."

Hi, I think I kind of understand where you are coming from. I was told as a child that I was gifted and artistic and haven't really lived up to the expectations set out for me. I started a thread about it and there were alot of interesting experiences posted by others with similar stories. This is the link if you want to read it.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt236839.html