Do you get a feeling remembering things from your past?

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K_Kelly
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05 Oct 2014, 9:02 pm

Do you always get this happy feeling whenever you think of memories both personal, and of society, many many years ago? I get a pretty feeling whenever I remember how something was "back then" it even appeared in my dreams. Unfortunately, the memories are too vague to me, and even though I can't go back to experience those times, at the same time it gives me hope somehow. Does anyone else feel this way?



auntblabby
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05 Oct 2014, 10:31 pm

the few good memories I have, I hang onto like a drowning man hangs onto a life vest.



ajpd1989
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05 Oct 2014, 10:43 pm

Not really, because unfortunately my bad memories are much stronger than my good memories and also outnumber them by about 30 to 1.



auntblabby
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05 Oct 2014, 10:54 pm

concentrate on better remembering the good memories and on eschewing dwelling upon the bad ones. if one cannot avoid the bad memories then try to find something about them that one learned from.



Skilpadde
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06 Oct 2014, 5:33 am

K_Kelly wrote:
Do you always get this happy feeling whenever you think of memories both personal, and of society, many many years ago?

Yes, very much so. It's not that I don't remember the bad along with the good, there are just so much more good stuff. I was also better off I was in a lot of ways back then, there was still hope before me back then. and a lot of conditions hadn't happened yet to me personally. Society was also better back then, less hysterical, and safer. It really was a better time in most ways.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'd rather relive the good years in a loop than live the natural life.


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06 Oct 2014, 10:19 am

I used to have bittersweet, mixed emotions over remembering 'the simpler times' of childhood. It takes time to let go of the past, and managing to do so the way I have done makes for a very rewarding and prospective future. :)



nick007
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06 Oct 2014, 8:00 pm

ajpd1989 wrote:
Not really, because unfortunately my bad memories are much stronger than my good memories and also outnumber them by about 30 to 1.
My bab memories may not outnumber my good 1s but I tend to dwell on em more & they defiantly are stronger.


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1pjladd2
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08 Oct 2014, 1:35 pm

I'm totally getting that special, unique feeling when thinking about my past. Oh man am I longing to get the good old days back. My memories are especially linked to video games (and their soundtrack) that I played back then. This must be one reason why I`m such a retro fan. Nowadays when I listen to certain pieces of gaming or film soundtrack I start crying. All the beauty of life, my easiness in the younger days, all that stuff then comes to my mind again. I recall all these great memories and can't help it but let the tears run.

Maybe it is too much nostalgia, but I can't think of any troubles then. Especially speaking about the years 2000 to 2004. Those were the best. I can even name the dates of some of the best dates including every detail (weather, clothings, who was there, what happened, etc.)
I had real friends. I was out there with them all the time. Just having fun. No signs of autism. I seemed to be a "real" human. But then I started to do my own s**t. Started skateboarding along with all my friends in 2003. Then one by one they stopped skating and I was the only one left. They "grew up", started partying and drinking, girls and all that stuff, as I got more and more isolated. I still skate to this day. It seems to by my big talent. As they always say: an autist has a special gift. Thank god I got to know new friends through skateboarding. But not comparable to the ones back then. Not as tight friendships.

Living was so easy and blithe as a student. I always remember my fear, that after school there will be no more happiness. Or let me say not the same kind of happiness. Just a big black hole of indecision. All these duties that come along with growing up. You gotta get a job, your own crib and stuff like that. Way too much responsibility compared to kid's days. And from an objective point of view society became a lot more unbearable. The world is now ruled by the internet and social networks. Try to get a real friend out there under these circumstances. Impossible. Men's best friend is their handheld gadget as it seems to me.

(excuse my english, I'm german :lol: )



auntblabby
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08 Oct 2014, 1:40 pm

1pjladd2 wrote:
(excuse my english, I'm german :lol: )

hiya :) and welcome to the club 8) your English is orders of magnitude better than my german! :alien:



BlankReg
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08 Oct 2014, 2:28 pm

The human brain (NTs anyway-- don't know if it's the same for Aspies) has a known, quantifiable negativity bias. A positive experience takes longer to be placed in long-term storage and might just be discarded altogether, whereas negative experiences are fast-tracked to long-term. A neuroscientist I know of explains the evolutionary advantage of this in a talk I'll try and link to.

So kudos to those who have more positive memories than negative. I however do not. I hang on to my positive memories just as auntblabby said. I also seem immune to nostalgia, which I actually find repulsive.

When I was first diagnosed, I was flooded with old memories-- none of them pleasant. It was like an assault. I'm 51 and was only diagnosed this summer. Some of my neutral memories turned decidedly negative through the lens of ASD, as I saw so many people who I was convinced were friends or at least kind to me were actually cruel and manipulative.

And each memory had its own payload of negative emotions; hurt, loneliness, alienation-- not to mention latent anger, embarrassment, feeling betrayed, and a deep emptiness I had never experienced before.

BUT I'm slogging through it all-- sorting it all out with a good therapist-- and that's helping immensely. I'm truly happier now than I ever was-- which may not sound like much, but it's really awesome from where I stand.

Found the video:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpuDyGgIeh0[/youtube]



Transyl
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15 Nov 2014, 1:37 am

auntblabby wrote:
the few good memories I have, I hang onto like a drowning man hangs onto a life vest.

Amen to this. I'm really lucky to have some of the memories I do. What sucks is... it's very similar to a special interest really. It's this wonderful thing that makes you feel better. Except you almost never have anyone who wants you to share it with them. People have a natural desire to share beautiful and precious things. Not being able to can be crushing.

Still, I'm lucky to have had good people in my life. Even if it didn't last forever. I know that.



auntblabby
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15 Nov 2014, 1:51 am

Transyl wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
the few good memories I have, I hang onto like a drowning man hangs onto a life vest.

Amen to this. I'm really lucky to have some of the memories I do. What sucks is... it's very similar to a special interest really. It's this wonderful thing that makes you feel better. Except you almost never have anyone who wants you to share it with them. People have a natural desire to share beautiful and precious things. Not being able to can be crushing.

Still, I'm lucky to have had good people in my life. Even if it didn't last forever. I know that.

Image Image
that is why it is important that you make your own local environment as welcoming and sheltering a place as possible for yourself, let it be your safe harbor or refuge in the storm of life. even if your physical environment is untenable at least make a spot in your mind that you can retreat to, after all nobody can enter your mind and chase you around up there.



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17 Nov 2014, 4:50 am

I usually get triggered by past bad experiences, that's the feeling I get.

I've had positive experiences, and some memories make me happy. But the negative overwhelmingly outweighs the positive, and I sure obsess over the negative.


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Nambo
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24 Nov 2014, 6:03 pm

I love remembering the past, guess at my age the futures not going to offer me much.
One thing I have noticed though, especially when I am tired, I not only remember events from the past, I can remember feelings as in not just remembering the feelings, but actually feeling them again, and I am not talking about feelings like happiness or sadness, its hard to describe, odd feelings as if you have a different perspective on life like when you have had a toke or something.
Feelings I forgot I ever had but then experience them again with nostalgia.