Rants

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That thought was really darn complicated.

Everything is really damn complicated.

I don't know why it is.

Is there a reason that is causing all this complicatedness? :/

I wish I could say it gets easier as you have more and more decisions to make for yourself, but the complexity of the decisions seems to keep pace with my sophistication at making them. Unless I'm totally off base, which is possible.

My stupid ancient Sony Xperia T can't function properly but I do not want to get a new phone because phones are expensive and I am sticking to my prepaid and not getting a subscription!

I wish people stopped talking to me when I am listening to explanations from the teachers.

My classmates have a different taste in music than I do and I don't like having music in the background in general so I honestly wish they didn't play their top 40 pop music over the classroom's speakers.

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your dad has done some despicable things.

I have to start rephrasing my self-talk. What the hell are you doing? needs to become Keep an eye on your schedule and deadlines. Stop being so damn lazy, idiot! needs to become Find a way to keep moving forward while getting just enough mental breaks to maintain balance.

I love this thread. This is going to sound horrible negative, but it helps to get it out. I feel awful right now. There is so much. It's probably the alcohol wearing off and it gives me anxiety

I feel so terrible alone right now. I have been sleeping for several hours. The f*****g downstairs neighbour has had people over almost all day. I can't hear them very well, but it worries me. It's actually freakishly silent here, when I can't hear my neighbours, and that feels awful too. And the f*****g paint smell in this place is awful. Every surface has been painted or varnished apart from the floors. EVERYTHING is different, new and strange. Please help me, I don't want to be here

I should be happy. People has been so nice to me. Rachel has created a thread for me. I will probably feel better tomorrow.

I wonder how dcj is doing, and Raleigh has left

DCJ sounds like he could have been Jim Morrison of the Doors in the 1960s.

morrison didn't have a tenth of the reason dcj does for being self-destructive.

^ I don't really think we can compare reasons for self-destruction. If you have one, it is valid because you feel it.

I'm in emotional pain/anxiety. I have heard music/video games/ tv or voices from underneith ALL day long, and then the mother f****r had the nerve to knock om my door because he wondered if I wore shoes indoors because it sounded like it. Which I didn't, but I could have if I f*****g wanted to
I'm considering putting in ear plugs

I feel so terribly alone now

^ I'm sorry.

^ Oh (((((Froya)))))

Thank you both!

How long will this heartache last?
I've handled things very poorly.
As always.
I deserve to suffer.
I will feel every bit of it.
Then perhaps I may learn from my mistake.