Rants

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I feel like self harming, which sucks since I haven't had the urge to do that in awhile.

Do these people prefer I communicate and them complain about me having to ask, or make me a stupid guest and just not communicate and make them complain anyway??

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I got really pissed at work because of my partner micromanaging me and treating me like I'm ret*d. I feel bad since I got snippy at her. She stopped though...

Every weekend the upstairs neighbours make so much noise of feet to and fro and banging about in the same room (the bedroom above our bedroom) and you don't get 5 minutes of peace. Today is Sunday and we just want to have a lazy, quiet day but all I can hear is banging and thumping about above constantly. I mean, don't these people ever rest, or go out? They're always there, making some sort of noise.
I like to relax in the bedroom and watch DVDs or listen to audiobooks or take a nap or anything that's calming, but even with earplugs or headphones I can STILL hear their noise! They just seem to spend every weekend in the same room, making a noise without a break. I mean, there's only so much adults can do in a small bedroom (and no, I'm not talking about sex). The apartments are all the same, so their bedroom is above our bedroom. They're a couple, so they probably have a large bed which takes up most of the room, and the only other things you can fit in the room are wardrobes and a desk or dressing table or something. So I don't know what noisy activity that involves a lot of stomping around and thumping about in the same room all day they can possibly do.

I'm sure they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. It's the only explanation I can come up with. I am unable to ignore it and I can even hear it over my audiobooks with headphones or earplugs so they must be stomping pretty loud. Why people on non-ground floors like to stamp their feet I don't know. Me and my boyfriend aren't constantly stomping around the apartment all day. Right now I'm laying on the bed writing this post, and my boyfriend is in the kitchen cooking the dinner (which is probably the only room that involves the noisiest activities).

I feel like running up there and telling them to just stop stomping around and do something normal, like sitting down for at least half an hour a day. I bet they even march around their apartment whilst eating.

What pisses me more than just mistakes with consequences?

Mistakes that didn't existed yet exists due to some misperception and made it into an actual mistake by paying the consequences of such misperception.

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I have gotten sick twice in the past two months. That was after 2 years and two months without being sick.

Grocery prices skyrocketing. My worthless corpse earns minimum wage and part time. Pushing shopping carts and loading merchandise.

Yesterday it rained for the first time in a couple of months. Shoes and pants wet. All the other Lot Lizards called out sick and I had to do all the work. Which was not that much work because not that many customers.

Day laborers have the nerve to call me racial slurs and homophobic slurs. ("Chino", "joto" means "fa***t" in Spanish). The slave plantation treats day laborers like customers, in that they are "always right"

Itchy

Constipated

Trying and failing to eat less candy but some articles claim that chocolate feels like (love) in the brain

Emotional overeating

Sometimes have trouble sleeping

Tired of eating the same thing every day but too lazy to cook. (Executive functioning disorder)

The slave plantation in the middle of a homeless encampment and every day I am afraid of getting raped, run over by a car, or made redundant from work

Slave plantation way too loud. Especially the bathroom. Headache

Sometimes back, stomach, feet, head aches

The parking lot is too hot, too cold or raining

My breasts too large

I don't feel like I can trust anyone. A security guard told another security guard that "he looks like he got a language barrier". But she has interacted with me zero times.

Another employee, Delfin, had the nerve to poke me in the back. I screamed. He burst out laughing like it was the funniest thing in the solar system. At that time I had worked there 18 months and he had zero interactions with me

Cortez had the nerve to flick me in the ear and I screamed. Cortez and another employee burst out laughing like it was the funniest thing in the solar system

You literally cannot turn your back on those lil dipshits

Last Saturday and Sunday someone had the nerve to sit on the toilet for between 9:30am and 3pm. There are only three toilets in the men's litterbox and that is already not enough. As a transsexual, I have to sit on the litterbox every time I go to the litterbox.

Off leash dogs

Zero occupational prospects

Counseling clinic has been closed since March 2020 for Covid and shows no sign of opening

Even the most civilized customers and employees in my slave plantation grunt "huh" and ""what" like they are the etiquette equivalent of "excuse me"

Loud music

Day laborers and employees appeared to be laugh at me

Customers ask "do you speak English?". (That is not racist but they would not have said that if I were white)

Potholes

Customers and employees order me to lift way too heavy merchandise and then bark at me for not doing it the way they want it

Tattletale tom acted like he expected me to lift as much weight as him even though he is much taller and heavier than me.

Tattletale tom has been trying to get me to redundant and I am afraid he will be successful.

Kayla b***h (nickel and dimed) me

Even warren loyal to Kayla b***h

Kayla b***h could get away with anything, legal or illegal. Unless you win a civil lawsuit.

Meanwhile some said "yes" instead of "yes please" and lisi had the nerve to correct me (self righteous).

Rolando told me that he talked to Kayla b***h about my "breathing incident" and she (allegedly) said that it was "disrespectful" and to tell me not to come back

But the Litterbox (IS) a "breathing exercise"

I was literally breathing the wrong way

But the Plaintiff does not go behind the Appellants back and talk to the Judge, and then tell the Appellant what the Judge (allegedly) said

How do I know that Rolando penis did not skew the message?

Kayla b***h doesn't care about anyone except herself but she still has plenty of slaves

39 single zero children and zero job skills

Pretty soon I will be too old to be Lot Lizard and nobody else will make the mistake of hiring my worthless corpse ever again and I am going to be homeless

Government benefits not guaranteed, sufficient or permanent

Roosters 5am

Overactive bladder

Annoying and angry and rude customers and employees and day laborers

5 years testosterone and the only changes:. Less period, lower voice. A couple leg hairs. Otherwise look the same.

Too tired all the time to clean house and cook dinner

Josh frequently on the phone

Roy smoking

In 20 months I have asked Nichelle two times for loading assistance and that b***h just stood there and went limp

I am afraid of dropping merchandise on my foot, or someone else dropping merchandise, but sometimes if I ask for loading assistance nobody comes

How f*****g strong do I look, s**t?

Day laborers only load things when they get cash. Plenty of day laborers we're standing around watching me struggle with a tool. They had nothing else to do but they didn't help


f**k those stupid ghetto ass holes

Rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead

"Reorganization"

Academic dismissal

Comparing feelings.

Yes, yes, everyone in the world experienced more pain than I ever do, and that everyone's problems are more real and heavier than mine.

Of course!! I'm that petty ungrateful hypocritical spoiled b*tch! How I wish that were true.


I hate being human.
I wish I'm not a human.
So I can finally act like freely like one and equally will feel like one.

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I'm worried that I'm going to eventually have a meltdown at work. I've gotten really close a couple times (I can tell because of me getting disoriented, wanting to flee the room, stimming involuntarily, etc.), and if I ever started freaking out like that I'd be so f*****g embarrassed.

I'm reaching the end of my tether with my upstairs neighbours. I feel this place is the only place online I can get it off my chest because I found a good Facebook group for downstairs apartment residents who like to rant or get helpful advice or just sympathy, but even though it says that it's very active my join group request is still pending after weeks.

I am thinking of calling the landlords, not reporting the upstairs neighbours really but just telling them that I can hear every single footstep, which sounds like elephants, and if there is anything they can do, like install some sort of sound insulation or whatever it's called. I'll even be willing to pay for it. Just anything to muffle those distracting noises coming from above - and what's most frustrating is that I can even hear them with earplugs in! So basically I don't get a moment's peace, and they seem to walk around their apartment an awful lot, even at midnight. They always seem to be in the bedroom above our bedroom, for hours sometimes, making a lot of banging and thumping noises.

Is having a bit of peace too much to ask? I can't sit in the living-room any more without earplugs (which I can't wear all the time because it makes communication difficult), because they're always walking across the room above and it feels like an elephant is up there. It's only a small apartment so there's only so much walking about one can do, and sometimes I feel like they're doing it on purpose.

I hate people. I wish I were rich, then I can move away to a peaceful cottage in the middle of fields where you hear no ugly noisy PEOPLE.

I went a few days without drinking alcohol because I'm not supposed to do that while on my new medication, but ended up drinking today anyways. I'm really disappointed in myself and feel like an idiot.

The idiots at the company that took over my credit card debt have failed to manage to take their monthly slice of flesh off my account. This is the second time in the past year. It's an automatic payment so I don't understand why they keep doing this. It means I will have to phone the swine and then they will try to bully me into increasing the payment. And this after I made a separate payment when I had some extra money last month. I've a good mind to...

2AM... Thumping bass.

I don't know which unit it's coming from. Urbanization of this area hasn't brought anything good.

I cannot sleep.

People usually thought because one is overthinking.

I'm not overthinking. In fact, I got nothing in my mind. NOTHING. At least it's not as bad during day times when I'm NEEDED to actually think.

Emotions maybe, heavy sensations and frustrations and impatience that I'd rather get rid of.

But literally nothing is in my mind except sensations and attempts to ignore it.
Not even something incoherent except sensations of the now.

Unless is it possible to be unaware of overthinking -- google can't even answer that. It's always about controlling overthinking, and nothing about being aware of it.

It's not as if there's such thing as a mental equivalent of alexithymia or something. Does it???

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Fed up with having no work to do at work. I love my job cleaning coaches but when there aren't any coaches there to clean during my shift I get so bored and restless. I'm not the sort of person to think "oh wonderful, I get to sit and do nothing and be paid!" No, I'd much prefer to be actively doing something and getting paid than sitting around with nothing to do and getting paid. I enjoy my job so I want to be doing my job when I'm at work.
It gets lonely as well when I have nothing to do, which is why I visit WP. But when there's not much activity going on here in the subforums that interest me, I get frustrated and bored.

I don't get bored really, not at home anyway. I only get bored when I'm somewhere where I have nothing to do but can't escape. I can't exactly nap at work to escape because I heard you can get suspended or even fired for sleeping at work, even if you're bored out of your mind with nothing to do.

Why do babies have to SCREAM? They barely need to use any muscles to let out the world's loudest scream. Wouldn't it be nice if babies were born with low voices? Nice and quiet. Life in public would be wonderful. No more anxiety or panic attacks. Or tie a f*****g gag around their gobs. f*****g hate them.

"it's your moral duty" ask anyone to conform the "minority" corporate "feelings" on everything, or your plug be unplugged
-is it the funny turn of oppressed far-left multinationals (in aynrandisms?)
that funny turn was realised in arts-loosely defined, all together now: we're only in it or the §