boredome wrote:
well, i'm alive.. unfortunately
now i have to deal with the fact that i fail at everything, including killing myself.
I can't think of a better thing to fail at then that. Please take care of yourself, killing yourself will just hurt all the people you care about.
You need to find someone to talk to. You can get past these desires, they won't last if you just keep moving forward. Your attitude and mindset will change in time. Just hang on.
And don't feel ashamed of feeling like this. Be open to the people you care about and you may be surprised by the amount of compassion you receive.