Page 1 of 1 [ 7 posts ] 

Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,142

09 Dec 2015, 9:04 am

I was wondering how many of you have or had people in your life who you were close with and did a lot of things together one on one. It's when other people enter their lives like other friends with the same interests or a boyfriend/girlfriend who they suddenly spend a lot of time with. Suddenly you find that you are mad at that person every time they turn around for little things along with blowing up at the new person in their lives.

Does anyone know what I am talking about? If so is this common in the asperger/autism community?



Sitswithwolves
Butterfly
Butterfly

Joined: 3 Sep 2015
Age: 32
Posts: 9

09 Dec 2015, 2:08 pm

I can relate- me and my best friend do that frequently, however he's the only person in my life so far that understands my condition better than most people. Thanks to his help, I've learned having mild aspergers that theres gonna be a perpetual lonelyness that comes with the territory. The fear of rejection and being alone drives the emotion to places that make me snap, often times to a meltdown... this is my personal experience anyways.



Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,142

10 Dec 2015, 3:05 pm

I have a serious issue with getting jealous when a close friends spends lots of time with their special someone and significant other over me. I have an even harder time when they do things with their other people who they are not married to.

Examples

1. A former close friend who got married ( I have several scenarios)
- When she met her husband and got engaged to him after dating for a year and a half things started getting sticky. One time she spent the night with me because her father was renovating her condo to be sold since she was going to move in with her husband after the wedding. It was while she was at my house that she was too tired to do anything but lie around. When her husband picked her up later that day for their weekly she jumped for joy out the door and I was upset.

- One week later I was set to meet this same friend for a free concert at a center for the arts which is housed at my university. Another friend of hers was coming as well. I had arrived at the center and I happened to call her other friend's cell because my friend did not own one. It turns out they were eating at a diner across the street which I took an offense and stormed over there only to slam my purse on the table for not calling me and seeing if I was in the area.

- Four Christmases ago she had very little time to spend with me because she was getting ready to move to another part of town with her husband. Meanwhile I was on semester break and I often see my friends when I am on those breaks. I wanted to meet her at a mall the day after Christmas so I asked her what she was doing. I came to find out that she had invited another close friend of mine meet her at a different mall in an area where all their buses were closed in observance for the holidays. I felt hurt and very left out next to Christmas being a difficult holiday for me due to familial issues. I was so jealous that I called her up and yelled at my friend in tears.

2. A childhood friend met her first boyfriend and suddenly had less time to talk on the phone with someone who had limited conversations.
-I did not want to have anything to do with her boyfriend or his friends.
- Whenever she suggested having other female friends for a sleepover I would blow my stack because I barely did one on one with her anymore or let alone talk on the phone.
3. A most recent was a newer friend who I hung out with one on one a lot. He has two other friends who are into video games like him and I enjoy manga and other sorts of nerdy things.
-I stayed with all three of them at the beginning of the summer only to find that he spent all of his time with the other two because he set his schedule around video game events. I was so jealous that I went to spend the last night with a different friend who did more than just video games.



ArtemisHolmes
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jan 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 312
Location: Illinois

13 Dec 2015, 7:26 am

In a platonic way? Usually no, I don't really get jealous. I'm not everybody's best friend, haha! However, for my best friend, I occasionally get jealous when my bestie's spending more time doing other stuff rather than talking to me. I've come to accept it's not me at fault, or my best friend at fault really, it's just things end up happening other ways sometimes. If I blew up about it then I'm not really being a good friend, haha!

Romantically? Yeah, I'd get jealous. But I'm the type to have this reaction: "If you're happier with some other guy other than me, then, well, I'm happy for you. I feel jealous and don't want it to be that way, but it is that way. Good luck!"


_________________
I think you guys will like my blog. :) http://modestyking.wordpress.com/


Rudin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jun 2015
Age: 18
Posts: 1,046
Location: Southern Ontario

13 Dec 2015, 7:37 am

When I was younger I had one friend, I pretty bad one I might add (even though I'm already adding it, to read more about this please read http://english.stackexchange.com/questi ... ing#101560).

He was a popular person so he had many other friends. I didn't like when he played with his other friends because I didn't like them and I got jealous. One time I wanted to play with blocks, but his other friend took the blocks away from me and I was very upset, they then proceeded to play with them. I was so upset that I drew pictures of me killing him, the teacher took them away though.

I often question whether or not we were friends. I have a notebook that I used to right in, in it I had a list of friends. I kept scratching his name out and putting it back in because I didn't know if we were friends or not.


_________________
"God may not play dice with the universe, but something strange is going on with prime numbers."

-Paul Erdos

"There are two types of cryptography in this world: cryptography that will stop your kid sister from looking at your files, and cryptography that will stop major governments from reading your files."

-Bruce Schneider


Kyle Katarn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Dec 2015
Age: 26
Posts: 1,181

13 Dec 2015, 8:19 am

Try to find new people to spend your time with.



Grammar Geek
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Oct 2015
Age: 25
Posts: 865
Location: Missouri

13 Dec 2015, 8:43 am

Yes. My friend (whom I am quite sure is an Aspie) found a girl he thought liked him, and she even came over to my house with him, but she later revealed she had a boyfriend. I was extremely envious of him and was secretly happy when I learned she had a boyfriend, because he was always sending me messages about her and they kept reminding me of how lonely I was.

There was also a time when I was younger, in 5th grade, when my best friend found another friend. I was unaware of the fact that people could have more than one friend, so I kept fearing he would stop talking to me in order to be with the other guy. Thus, I kept demanding for him to play with me, leading to him eventually hating me and us becoming enemies throughout junior high. He never told me why he hated me until his girlfriend casually mentioned it to me.