No status as " autistic " .

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I really have no status in the " real world " as autistic/Aspie .
It's just that I'm so mentally involved with this board that I think of it that way .
I have practically never had the tag " autistic " , cretainly in the sense it's meant now/here .
I have often wondered whether , if people had been a little more understandic/sympathetic to me , if my life could have been better - - it's not asking to never have been AS , just have the tag , in a posiive way , and some symphathy ~ Even , I suppose , " being taught to overcome some of the problems/not so good things it may lead to " .
But I , all but never , have .
Actually , it was a social services organization here in San Francisco that ended up screwing me that eventually led me to the DX , I have sometimes thought " maybe I should abamdon the Aspie DX as a product of that organization that screwed me , maybe nothing can come good of it " .
There is an Aspie meeting I've occasionally been to , but it never works out to much , I am so economically and socially different from all of them ~ At times , their meeting are followed by goingto a resturaunt , " which should only cosr twenty dollars or so " ~ I can't afford that , really ! And I don't look good , either .
I do fantasize about a " perhaps " life where I was safer , and more taken care of , but less free ~ but a " nicer " sort of being taken care of , and I'm more comfortable with it .
Maybe it's more likely I will be found dead one morening in the shelter ~ Maybe ?

I know it sucks to be dealt a "bad hand in life", But you should try and focus on the good things. This is very hard fore it is a human tendency to focus on bad over good. Don't gloom the bad enjoy your last year, and make it count. No matter how little you can do, you can always ride a tour bus.

Are you on disability? Do you get Medicare of Medicaid? I would find a doctor who knows about autism and talk with this doctor. That's what I did. I contacted the Autism Society of America and they gave me a list of doctors who are knowledgeable about autism.I found a wonderful doctor who gave me the formal diagnosis. If you call up the Autism Society of America, they have counselors on the phone available for you to talk to. It's a great organization.

...Someone asked me if I have a " bucket list " .
Well , aside from listing some more " ambitious " things (which I shall surely likely never do ) on another line ~ IMPROVING MY COMPUTER/TECH/PHONE SKILLS A LITTLE BEFORE I DIE WOULD BE NICE ! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !
I've outlined , OVER AND OVER AGAIN , how , i someone would HELP me on that front , I'd NEVER ask them for money , or " stuff " , ora place to stay ~ We could just meet at the library , or a cafe/Starbucks , or whatever . I'd guarentee that I'd even pay for my own stuff 100% if we met at a cafe/S , you wouldn't have me asking you for thing$ ~ at ALL !
Isn't that me knowing my place (just like XFilesGeek wants) ?
Not bothering " my betters " , realizing that I deserve to be pshitty poor ?
I GUARENTEE this , I'd NEVER ask for " stuff " , just information !
Really !

...Posting this one back up as well...

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!