How do you calm down and get unstuck?

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animalcrackers
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16 Sep 2016, 10:28 am

How do you get unstuck when you are in an emotionally terrible situation, have fairly severe executive dysfunction(ED) and emotional self-regulation issues (related partly to the ED and partly to trauma) are overwhelmed to the point of paralysis and expending most of your energy on not having a loud, destructive meltdown, and have a deadline that you probably can't meet, but need to do your best at even if it only means you get things partly done? (because partly done is a hell of a lot better than not done at all)

How do you calm yourself?

How do you get unstuck?

These are two things (stuck and unable to calm down) that are separate problems but right now each is making the other worse.

I am looking for ideas (words of comfort or understanding are hugely appreciated, too, if you have any). Physical/action-based things usually work better for me than self-talk sorts of things but sometimes I can sort of modify/adapt the self-talk things to fit my non-narrative thought processes ......and even though I'm not sure I can do that right now in this high stress state maybe it doesn't matter....really I am open to trying anything at this point.


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MjrMajorMajor
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16 Sep 2016, 11:01 am

<<hugs>>

I focus on on thing that will bring me closer to what needs done, then take a break. Sometimes it's something as small as grabbing a pen, or slowly organizing a space. It helps if it's quiet with no interruptions, so I either clear people out or time it when it will be quiet.. I will usually play a mindless game that engages me for a spell, then move to step two. Rinse and repeat. :mrgreen:

I don't know if this is helpful for your situation, but it helps me regroup and focus.



BirdInFlight
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16 Sep 2016, 1:11 pm

Sometimes, if I have the luxury of a bit of time, I have to just let myself be a zombie and temporarily avoid the thing that has to be done -- just at first. It doesn't sound like a good thing to do but somehow I've always managed to do the thing in the end, even though at first it looks like I'm just going into inertia. Sometimes some inertia seems to be all I need to actually be able to kick-start myself in a short while.

I wouldn't say this coping method is without stress though, as it does worry me to just let myself go "fllllloooooooop" mentally and otherwise. I'm always scared I'll just stay like that, but oddly I never do and I "rally" eventually. Maybe it's the kind of break I need to recharge my energies even though it looks like I'm running away.

Another thing is to physically get into a different space in every meaning of the phrase. Go for a walk, get into nature, do something different than the thing you're inclined to do.


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animalcrackers
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16 Sep 2016, 2:58 pm

Thank you both very much!

MjrMajorMajor: I can't clear anybody out or ask them to leave me alone but focusing on one thing is something I can work at.

It is especially hard for me to stay focused on one thing right now (often hard normally) because I can literally see so much of what has to be done and I don't know how to change that (I am packing up to move out -- I have been living with my dad and his wife) ....

BUT it is something I will try to do. I am thinking maybe I will draw a few things at a time on single pages of note paper in whatever order I think of them and let that be my plan -- just one thing per note -- and see if that helps keep me focused, by referring back to whichever is on the top page.

Breaks are a good idea, I am just worried I will get stuck in them or caught taking them (I explain more below)

BirdInFlight: if I had the time, I would try just not pushing myself for a bit and letting the inertia happen.

Getting outside is a really good idea, but I can't do that without being confronted and probably given sh**, maybe yelled at, by angry people who never get stuck or find themselves disabled by emotions and don't believe it's possible, and who consider breaks to be frivolous and unnecessary luxuries....and I really can't handle a confrontation with them right now (don't trust my ability to contain my temper, don't want to experience anymore hurtful things to add to the years-worth mountain of hurtful things that is replaying constantly in my mind today).

So if I allow myself breaks (which is kind of a silly way to put it right now because if I can't get started or I get stuck again then I'm technically taking a break anyways, just not a planned one and not one that I want to be taking) they have to be secret.

Maybe I can just try to shift rooms and try a different single task if I get stuck....at least then I'd be in a different part of the space mentally and physically, if not entirely removed from it


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