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Raleigh
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12 Oct 2016, 6:26 am

Give me a razor blade
To cut my wrists
My neck
Give me eternal sleep.


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kraftiekortie
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12 Oct 2016, 6:53 am

Or as the Rolling Stones put it:

"Give Me Shelter."

I wish I could make you feel better, Raleigh.



DataB4
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12 Oct 2016, 7:05 am

I do, too. It's good that you're expressing your feelings. Are you thinking of taking your own life?

How can we help you right now? Is there something new that brought these feelings on?



Spiderpig
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12 Oct 2016, 7:52 am


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Raleigh
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12 Oct 2016, 4:53 pm

I'm exhausted
Physically
Mentally
Emotionally
Spiritually
I've run out of f***s to give.
Not only is Death welcome, I send Him a gold star invitation :star:


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Amity
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12 Oct 2016, 5:06 pm

Hi Raleigh, whatever is happening with you, its ok to feel this way, I am sorry that you're having this experience though :heart:



beakybird
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12 Oct 2016, 9:01 pm

I empathize with the feeling.

And I know no one can say a damn thing to help. Tomorrow's another day. No matter what it is, no matter how bleak something seems, it can't be any less a chance of things being better if you check out. I've been suicidal quite a bit in the last few weeks. And that's what I try to think.



Raleigh
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13 Oct 2016, 3:29 pm

This is about as goddam bleak as it could get.
And it will get worse.
And you're right - no one can help me.
I don't know if anyone here can comprehend how lonely it is to be beyond all human help.
I feel abandoned.
I feel invisible.
Just hurry up and die ffs.

Whatever I do, the outcome will be the same.
I don't see the point in hanging around and wasting valuable resources that more viable people could be using.


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DataB4
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13 Oct 2016, 4:14 pm

I can't even imagine how awful that must be. How much can you function now in your current condition? I remember you were able to go to an awesome concert a while back. What about talking through your options with a therapist? I'm assuming you've already gotten multiple medical opinions about treating your condition?



Raleigh
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13 Oct 2016, 10:24 pm

Not functional enough to answer those questions.
God knows I tried.


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envirozentinel
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14 Oct 2016, 1:03 am

I've seen some of the art you've shared on here. Gum trees on the river. You are talented, you have a lot to give and you deserve to be happy.

There will always be bad phases. Sometimes all seems without a sliver lining. It seems at times like you're at the end of one's tether but look around and see it's in knots and just needs untwisting. You are precious to us on WP and you are a valued friend to many. Even if you touch just one person's life it may be much more than you realize.

Have you sought out professional assistance and all your possible options regarding medications?


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B19
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14 Oct 2016, 4:48 am

Wish we could make it better for you right now. I think of you everyday, I hope tomorrow will be a better day than today has been for you.



SlowMazorati
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14 Oct 2016, 6:48 am

Hugs Raleigh. I have no words except that I hope it passes and you see the end of the tunnel soon.



Raleigh
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14 Oct 2016, 2:03 pm

I hope there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
If there is, I'll go towards it.


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Noca
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14 Oct 2016, 2:07 pm

Big *hugs* to you Raleigh

I can imagine the terminal diagnosis you have must be crippling to cope with and come to terms with. I hope you are able to find peace soon. Know how much everyone on WP deeply cares about you and your contribution to this community.
:heart:


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Your neurodiverse score: 150 of 200
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14 Oct 2016, 3:37 pm

Raleigh wrote:
I hope there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
If there is, I'll go towards it.


Someone whose name I can't recall wrote:
The light you see at the end of the tunnel is that of an oncoming train.


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The red lake has been forgotten. A dust devil stuns you long enough to shroud forever those last shards of wisdom. The breeze rocking this forlorn wasteland whispers in your ears, “Não resta mais que uma sombra”.