Feeling hopeless (trigger warning - suicide)

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Good luck for Monday

My problem with working in a library is sort of similar to what happened to you back when you worked at the department store. I have a very good memory, so I know generally where items in the library are located, but sometimes I know exactly where to find specific items that people are looking for when they ask me for help. For some reason, people at the library where I work think that just because I work there, I am expected to know the answers to every question they have, and also expect me to know how to work the technology there; in reality, however, all I do at my job is just check in items on the computer & put them away, and also collect items people have ordered from our library to be sent to other libraries. It is extremely frustrating for me when they do it, and it also gives me anxiety when I have to talk to people; I do not know what they will do to me or how they will react when I talk to them. I very strongly prefer to work independently & not do any customer service at all.



Just like you, my job is not too challenging, but sometimes I am also a bit slow, but I am also extremely thorough, and I try very hard to get all my work done as soon as possible & not make any mistakes. I have one co-worker that I occasionally talk with, who has gotten to know me a little bit, but I am not really close with any of the library staff. I am civil with my co-workers, and I sometimes say hi to people, but only if they say hi first; I never do it on my own because I am just too shy & nervous to do it myself. None of my co-workers have ever really invited me to do anything with them outside of work besides inviting me to the annual company holiday party in December, which I have always hated going to, so I declined & did not go this last year. Just like you, it does not bother me at all. In-person relationships are too difficult for me, and I am truly happiest being alone too; in fact, I just ended a friendship with someone who turned in to a trouble maker & wanted something from me that I could not do. I am sort of depressed about it, but at the same time, I love being alone.



I never knew what group therapy was like, and it sounds like you did the right thing by leaving the group. Maybe you are also doing the right thing by giving your therapist a chance to improve & do a better job treating you. Do you know when you will see him again? I would like to know how it goes with him. Maybe he will understand that the 2 of you are not making any progress & try to do a better job. I hope you are not too nervous about starting your new job tomorrow, and I wish you well at the job. You just need to get thru the rest of today.



300 big hugs back!

Well, my training involved a lot of standing and moving around, as expected, so I'm very ready to not be getting up again for a while now, but otherwise it went pretty well. The place isn't as large as the store I cleaned before, but there's still plenty to do. As I expected, there are a lot less people around, too - probably most of them were in training classes, and we aren't supposed to go into the rooms they're using for classes at the time. But the vacuum cleaner is very loud, which is really hard on my sensitive ears. But overall, it seems like it will probably be a job I can manage, at least.

Dragons and demons

Plenty of people have no job or no job skills

Besides, some states are "at will" employment states

Someone could get fired at any time, for any reason or no reason

Then what?

Plenty of people with bachelor degrees work at jobs below their skill

Underemployed

Look up "unearned income"

Financial investments

Some people with jobs earn a lot more money than they are worth

Some jobs contribute in ways that could be positive or negative

For example, tobacco manufacturer, gun producers

So what?

They do not all commit suicide

Some people that earn a lot of money, still commit suicide

Some medical doctors commit suicide

I am sorry for the late reply; for the last few days, every time I try to sign in to Wrong Planet to read what you wrote, I kept receiving error messages, but it is working now.



I am sorry that your training day was strenuous, but I am glad it was okay & you got thru it. I am glad that you will have plenty of work to do. I also have a problem with vacuum cleaners, and my ears are very sensitive too. Good luck with the job; has it been a good job for the last few days? Have you done anything else since then?



I hope you appointment with your therapist went well, and I also hope he was more helpful to you this time.



Big hugs.