I can't seem to ever sleep properly

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Sweetleaf
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28 Apr 2019, 3:49 am

Well I regularly stay up till at least two in the morning. My boyfriend mentioned that it could be unhealthy, but I can't seem to make myself ready for bed earlier. I mean I try to limit myself to 2 in the morning but I admit much of times I still end up staying up till 3 or 4 in the am, because I just don't feel ready to sleep. I mean it is probably a problem because sometimes I lie about it like I say I just stayed up till 2 but the reality is I stayed up till four and just snuck into the bed and claimed I went to bed at 1 30 or 2 when it was more like 3 or 4 am. But IDK how to stop this unhealthy habit of just not sleeping when I should.


But I play it off as having getting enough sleep and I don't really tell people about it, but my boyfriend has picked up on my sleeping problems and from time to time, he does seem kind of concerned about it. But not sure what to do, because even when I try to go to bed earlier and get more sleep I just can't. But I wish I could


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sly279
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28 Apr 2019, 4:38 am

I go to bed at 2 am work days and 2-3 am days off. I work nights and don’t even get home until 10:30. So that’s my normal schedule. Sleep at 2 wake at 10 am.
Do you work? Staying up til 2-3 is only unhealthy if you have to be up at like 6-8 am. I get 8 hours sleep. Others go to sleep at 7 am and get up 3 pm as they work graveyard shift. So by it’s self it’s not unhealthy. I’m guessing your bf works day? And thus to him staying up that late would be unhealthy. Hope that helps.


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The Grand Inquisitor
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28 Apr 2019, 4:52 am

]color=firebrick]You're unemployed aren't you? I had a very inconsistent sleep schedule when I was unemployed, largely owing to the fact that I had no reason to get up at a specific time in the morning.

How much sleep are you getting per night? If you're going to bed at 4am and waking up at 12pm, that's not so bad, as you're still getting 8 hours sleep. If you're going to bed at 4am and waking up at 8am, you'll probably want to consider going to bed a bit earlier.[/color]



Trogluddite
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28 Apr 2019, 7:22 am

I agree with Sly and Inquisitor, getting enough sleep is more important than when you get it - but I also recognise that being "out of sync" with the rest of the world can sometimes bring its own problems. My sleep patterns have been like that since early childhood, and nothing I've ever tried has made a jot of difference. I was just born to be a "night-owl", and these kind of differences with sleep are very common for autistic people.

In part, maybe it's a need to have quiet time when we know there isn't going to be any disturbance from other people; a bit of time where there's no need to be vigilant because we might need to interact with someone, and when there's less going on to grate on sensory sensitivities. But I suspect that it's more than that - a genuine difference in how our body-clocks work for some of us.

The most important thing I've learned is to try not to get anxious, guilty, or frustrated about it - you can't get to sleep by trying harder to sleep; that just leaves you lying there staring at the ceiling and silently fuming. And you don't necessarily have to get all of your sleep in one big 8hr session; take daytime naps if it helps, or maybe experiment with having a few hours sleep early evening, getting up for your late-night vigil, then going back to sleep again (before the fixed hours of factory jobs were common, this was considered a perfectly normal and healthy sleep pattern.)

It can be tricky fitting an unusual sleep pattern around the needs of other people and wider society, I know, but the more you can find a compromise where you can sleep in a way which works for you as much as possible, the more energy you'll have, and the easier it is to avoid "frustrated wakefulness" and get the quantity and quality of sleep that we all need.


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SaveFerris
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28 Apr 2019, 7:31 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
I mean it is probably a problem because sometimes I lie about it like I say I just stayed up till 2 but the reality is I stayed up till four and just snuck into the bed and claimed I went to bed at 1 30 or 2 when it was more like 3 or 4 am.


Get out of my head :D This is me ^


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EzraS
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28 Apr 2019, 7:55 am

A lot of people on the spectrum have Delayed sleep phase syndrome (DSPS). A disorder in which a person's sleep is delayed by 2 or more hours beyond the socially acceptable or conventional bedtime.



serpentari
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28 Apr 2019, 8:11 am

every person has their own biological clock. such as, my active time, when my brain works best, happens to be from 21-23 to 3-5am. and being forced to get up at 7.15 f***s me up and over. because i need to sleep till 11-13, that is where i can get restful sleep. its not about having or not havign a job. when i had a job, i just kept piling up exhaustion because i never could have a restful sleep, having to work at those hours i'd get it. it doesnt matter how hard i try to train myself. i can end up with no sleep at all, but i wont just fall asleep and be rested if i go to bed at 21. unnatural for me. so well, if u can afford it, try to figure out and follow ur very own timetable of sleep and wake, regardless of what the clock says. let ur body decide, if u have an option.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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28 Apr 2019, 8:30 am

You could gradually adjust your sleep schedule


It's easier to feel better emotionally, for me, if I wake up early and go to bed early

But that is just me



Not unless your job is at night



leahbear
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28 Apr 2019, 2:45 pm

If you go outside shortly after you wake up and get sunlight in your eyes for 30 minutes it will start to reset your circadian rhythm. I’m naturally a night owl but I’ve been doing this for about 10 days and now instead of staying up till 1, 2 or 4am I find myself getting really sleepy by 10 or 11pm. It’s such a nice, gentle way to start your day too. It’s just me and the birds and I find myself wanting to spend that time doing things that make me feel good like meditating or doing Qigong. It seems to be really increasing my appetite as well which is needed as I often struggle to eat enough.



nick007
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01 May 2019, 3:41 am

Me & my girlfriend have a very inconsistent sleep schedule. We're both kinda night people & have to be cuz our neighbors on one side of us sometimes play very heavy bass & it's very sporadic when they do it. They stop it by 10pm thou when the noise ordinance goes into effect & they go to bed. My girlfriend cannot stand to be downstairs without earplugs before 10pm because the bass gives her headaches & we never know when we'll suddenly hear it. The neighbor's a total as*hole who slammed the door in my face & said he's tired of people coming over there telling him to turn it down. Our property management doesn't give a flying f#ck about enforcing the rules. Our only solution is to move but we're on waiting lists & looking for places. A place may turn up next month or next year, we don't have a clue when. We have to be up in the daytime sometimes for things like waiting for packages cuz they'll get stolen if left by the door, we have medical appointments, have shopping to do, & Cass has to visit her family & be on their schedule somewhat when she's there. Cass also has pain issues & depression & anxiety issues. All this causes us to be on a very screwed up sleep schedule. We both try to get plenty sleep when we need it & can & we both find we get more than the average amount of sleep. Like I average 10 hours & she averages even more. The meds we're on could be a factor too & I want to try going off one of mine but now's not the rite time cuz of BAD stuff going on with Cass's family rite now.

When I was working one of the jobs I had, I would go in to work at 9pm & work till 7;30am when I was allowed to make overtime. I would go to bed around like 10am & sleep till like 7pm. I felt I got enough sleep when I wasn't getting up earlier to go into work earlier for some special project or something, or when I would go to bed by 10 instead of staying up till noon on computer or whatever.
So like others have said, I don't think simply going to bed late is a problem if your able to get enough sleep & your boyfriend is OK with you having that schedule.


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Noca
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01 May 2019, 10:13 pm

Establish a routine. You control when you go to bed, and when you get up out of bed in the morning, but you don't control when you fall asleep. Making sure you wake up at the same time every morning regardless if you have anywhere or not to go, go to bed at the same time every night works. Wake up at 9am regardless of how tired you are and force yourself to stay awake until bed time. Avoid watching screens or bright lights for an hour before bed.


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Sweetleaf
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02 May 2019, 1:40 am

sly279 wrote:
I go to bed at 2 am work days and 2-3 am days off. I work nights and don’t even get home until 10:30. So that’s my normal schedule. Sleep at 2 wake at 10 am.
Do you work? Staying up til 2-3 is only unhealthy if you have to be up at like 6-8 am. I get 8 hours sleep. Others go to sleep at 7 am and get up 3 pm as they work graveyard shift. So by it’s self it’s not unhealthy. I’m guessing your bf works day? And thus to him staying up that late would be unhealthy. Hope that helps.


I am not working now, waiting on hearing back from voc rehab about a job placement thing. And I also tend to stay up till two and get up at 10 when I am not working, granted when I was working I was fine getting up early in the morning and making it to the bus, I think I was only late a couple days due to the bus being late. Just seems like even when I do have to get up early I have a hard time going to bed earlier than 12-2 in the morning. Or even if I go to bed I just end up staying awake and tossing and turning a bunch with weird dreams most of the night it seems.

The other night my boyfriend thought I was having nightmares because I was making unhappy noises in my dream, but I can't even remember what I could have been dreaming about. Couldn't remember any bad dreams when I woke up but based on dreams I've had it was probably something just slightly bothersome like a dream about not getting into the group circle because the other kids are mean and me dream screaming that they should let me in. Or it could have been something horrible like getting eaten by something...who knows, I can't remember it so no idea.


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