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hurtloam
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30 Aug 2018, 1:39 pm

Oh no I don't do the going out as a group of women thing. I'm very much a loner and when I do organise a group activity I make it a mixed group.



elsapelsa
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30 Aug 2018, 1:53 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Oh no I don't do the going out as a group of women thing. I'm very much a loner and when I do organise a group activity I make it a mixed group.


I am the same.

But my point is slightly that even when you are in a mixed group you are less approachable than when you are on your own. The other thing is doing a shared activity helps break the ice and gives a continuous focus of interest. For example a language course or volunteering. I am sorry if I keep labouring this but I would say I have met most of my partners in this way and it feels like it can't be a coincidence.


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hurtloam
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30 Aug 2018, 3:46 pm

elsapelsa wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Oh no I don't do the going out as a group of women thing. I'm very much a loner and when I do organise a group activity I make it a mixed group.


I am the same.

But my point is slightly that even when you are in a mixed group you are less approachable than when you are on your own. The other thing is doing a shared activity helps break the ice and gives a continuous focus of interest. For example a language course or volunteering. I am sorry if I keep labouring this but I would say I have met most of my partners in this way and it feels like it can't be a coincidence.


Ah a tried and tested method.

People I know irl have suggested a few such like things to me but my health genuinely does inhibit me from committing to an activity. That's part of my problem. If I were well I would be living a different life.



SabbraCadabra
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30 Aug 2018, 5:31 pm

hurtloam wrote:
People I know irl have suggested a few such like things to me but my health genuinely does inhibit me from committing to an activity. That's part of my problem. If I were well I would be living a different life.

Is it not an ailment that can be improved with exercise?

Sometimes you have to start small and work your way up.


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hurtloam
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30 Aug 2018, 8:20 pm

SabbraCadabra wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
People I know irl have suggested a few such like things to me but my health genuinely does inhibit me from committing to an activity. That's part of my problem. If I were well I would be living a different life.

Is it not an ailment that can be improved with exercise?

Sometimes you have to start small and work your way up.


Nope. Exercise makes me ill. I had to cancel my gym membership. I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, but to make things worse my immune system is really low at the moment and I've been catching every bug that's been going around.



SabbraCadabra
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31 Aug 2018, 5:27 am

Yuck.

Exercise usually helps with my Sjogren's, but just summoning enough energy to start working out is what really kills me.

It helps that I have to do a lot of manual labor at work, but it can be real torture on my muscle pain, especially with constant overtime.


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hurtloam
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01 Sep 2018, 4:49 am

SabbraCadabra wrote:
Yuck.

Exercise usually helps with my Sjogren's, but just summoning enough energy to start working out is what really kills me.

It helps that I have to do a lot of manual labor at work, but it can be real torture on my muscle pain, especially with constant overtime.


I've never heard of that before. I've just read up about the symptoms online. What kind of exercise helps?



The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Sep 2018, 6:30 am

hurtloam wrote:
Honestly. I'm sick of you guys writing women over 20 off as horrible old bores. We still have fun. I have NT female friends who are still fun. It's a horrible narrow minded trope.


You are like one of those (except I don't know you irl) :
viewtopic.php?t=362674

They are women who are fun, attractive and yet...for some reason, I see them single year after year.

I have a lot of FB contacts who are like this (whom I know/knew them IRL), maybe because I 'focused' in getting to know single women before.

But still...it's very weird.



SabbraCadabra
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01 Sep 2018, 8:03 am

hurtloam wrote:
What kind of exercise helps?

I don't know about chronic fatigue syndrome, but generally, just anything that gets the blood pumping works for me (aerobic, I guess?). If I'm in a pinch, I'll do jumping jacks and/or run around in circles for a bit. I drink water like a fish.

Certain foods make fatigue way worse for me...I'm trying to cut them out of my diet as much as possible, but sometimes it's hard to figure out which foods are which (and sometimes it's hard to fight cravings). The lists that are out there don't always ring true for me, and sometimes they are contradictory.

I've been trying helminth therapy (NA) for almost a year now, but haven't really noticed any changes yet.


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01 Sep 2018, 2:19 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Honestly. I'm sick of you guys writing women over 20 off as horrible old bores. We still have fun. I have NT female friends who are still fun. It's a horrible narrow minded trope.


You are like one of those (except I don't know you irl) :
viewtopic.php?t=362674

They are women who are fun, attractive and yet...for some reason, I see them single year after year.

I have a lot of FB contacts who are like this (whom I know/knew them IRL), maybe because I 'focused' in getting to know single women before.

But still...it's very weird.


Why do you think they remain single?



sly279
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01 Sep 2018, 2:20 pm

hurtloam wrote:
SabbraCadabra wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
People I know irl have suggested a few such like things to me but my health genuinely does inhibit me from committing to an activity. That's part of my problem. If I were well I would be living a different life.

Is it not an ailment that can be improved with exercise?

Sometimes you have to start small and work your way up.


Nope. Exercise makes me ill. I had to cancel my gym membership. I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, but to make things worse my immune system is really low at the moment and I've been catching every bug that's been going around.


I haven’t been in months. I should probably cancel it but I hope to go back one day



Grischa
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01 Sep 2018, 3:49 pm

I have read your posts
you wrote you're close to 40 and I am 40
you wrote that you're sad and I am sad
Here's just another sad piece of literature, I tried to change it from sad to glad but didn't work:

https://medium.com/@gerbentue/most-sad- ... 0c8af8b888



AquaineBay
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01 Sep 2018, 10:50 pm

sly279 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Honestly. I'm sick of you guys writing women over 20 off as horrible old bores. We still have fun. I have NT female friends who are still fun. It's a horrible narrow minded trope.


You are like one of those (except I don't know you irl) :
viewtopic.php?t=362674

They are women who are fun, attractive and yet...for some reason, I see them single year after year.

I have a lot of FB contacts who are like this (whom I know/knew them IRL), maybe because I 'focused' in getting to know single women before.

But still...it's very weird.


Why do you think they remain single?


You asked The_Face_Of_Boo that but I think I have a theory on it. I think society is advancing too fast and human genetics and DNA isn't fast enough to adapt.

We have DNA from many people from the past where women stayed at home and men went to work. Men had high self-esteem and confidence when working and women felt better while taking care of the house. Back then though that was a necessity because there weren't many women that could take on a lion or tiger and live to tell about it, and labour back then required a lot of strength.

Throughout the years that then became the core of what motivated each gender to live, men climbing the heirarchy and women getting married and supporting the children. I noticed in my life that as jobs get more scarce, men's mood and behavior got worse, also many women on the internet talk about feeling bad for having to go to work and leaving the kids.

I think many people are depressed and lack self-esteem because our genetics are hard wired to follow our ancestors and that's thousands of years of hard wired genetics.

For Example, The Roaring Twenties was a time in the US, traditions started breaking, women had the right to vote and also wore more revealing clothing. As far as clothing go we are in 2018 and women are still facing problems with their choice of attire. It's very hard to rewire thousands of years of thinking in just a few years(I'm not blaming women, The Roaring Twenties was the first one of significant things I can remember in changes to society so I just picked it.)

I think a lot of people are having a hard time finding out a new core of motivation to keep living. The traditional way has been around for a very LONG time, and I think the change in the structure of society is causing problems in peoples lives such as in relationships.

Maybe if it was more gradual like over the span of hundreds of years the transition would be easier but getting rid of core motivations that lasted thousands of years is going to be hard in just a short span of time.


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hurtloam
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02 Sep 2018, 2:13 am

Please can we not debate how heinous the effect of women's clothing is on society in my haven thread. Boo started his own thread andinked it.

:roll:

Thanks.



hurtloam
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02 Sep 2018, 2:16 am

Grischa wrote:
I have read your posts
you wrote you're close to 40 and I am 40
you wrote that you're sad and I am sad
Here's just another sad piece of literature, I tried to change it from sad to glad but didn't work:

https://medium.com/@gerbentue/most-sad- ... 0c8af8b888


I love Tolstoy!

Ah right I've read The link through. Nice bit of Tolstoy fan fic.

However, I like it when some characters don't find love. It's real.

What I want is more tv and literature where people are happily single. There are few examples. Sherlock is the only one I can think of off the top of my head. Maybe Goran from Law and Order Criminal intent or the characters from Person of Intrest. That's probably why I like Crime Dramas.



hurtloam
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03 Sep 2018, 4:52 am

Maybe it depends on the person.

Maybe I've not been falling for very open people. Probably doesn't help that I'm very cautious myself. There's 2 walls to break down. Not just one.

It's difficult to give up on someone who keeps sending mixed messages. I got the feeling I actually made him feel hurt by drawing away. I'm protecting myself. I'm not pushing him away because i don't care, i just can't face a month of crying my eyes out again.

I think it is best to walk away from someone who sends mixed messages and try and find someone consistent.