My husband doesn't understand why I'm so unhappy...

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So my husband is content with his sedentary lifestyle, he watches YouTube videos almost constantly while he's awake if he doesn't have a doctor's appointment which is frequent. But I am miserable. I feel my whole life revolves around my husband. Even on my birthday I spent the day taking him to the doctor and cooking for him. In fact in the past I was a lot happier than now when I was working or when I was doing things for myself.

I wanted to go back to one town where I met my husband in the first place because they have a social center for people with mental health issues (including some aspies) and I have friends there but my husband says no because some mental health people in that town convinced me our relationship was hurting me and we should break it off, I almost did.

But I can't stand it here anymore. I was discouraged this morning when a job I interviewed for hired someone else. This trailer is awful, especially my uncle's animals, my uncle left two dogs and several cats here with us while he's living at his sister's property and they are very ill behaved and the dogs just go bathroom in the house on the floor and were constantly trying to clean it up. Plus the bedbugs and the fleas that my uncle was told if he asked he could get help for but he refuses.

I'm so depressed right now it's not even funny

I'm getting tired of my uncle lying to me also. The water bill was supposed to be taken out of our name but I just got it today and it wasn't. Also I found out not long ago were still on the lease of this place when my uncle claimed it was completely his now.

Time to get your own place as soon as possible.

Obviously, those are conditions you don’t want to live in. Does your husband want to stay in those conditions?

I would continue pursuing employment. Try not to feel discouraged. It’s the only way out of your situation, especially if it gets to be too much with your husband.

You have unique talents. Take advantage of them.

My husband wants a different place too. I'm applying to jobs all over the place now, not just local, I figure that we'll get there somehow if I'm hired. I do have a fresh interview for a local job coming up as of yesterday, but some of the other ones I've been applying to reciently are more relevant to my past experiencnces.

School will be starting soon. I would like to suggest you get on the roster of substitute teachers, most places only require a bachelor's degree and having a science background would be a plus for you. You can accept any length of assignment, from one day to months. Of course you will want to continue to apply for real jobs, but meanwhile subbing will bring in some extra money (where I live, it's about $100 a day) plus get you out of the trailer and using your brain. And it will look better on your resume than doing nothing.

I have never done it myself and of course it is very social, lots of unfamiliar faces, which doesn't excite me personally; but you have worked as an educator. Anyway give it some thought. My former neighbors, a married couple, both worked for years as substitutes.

I never thought about sub teaching... Anyway it seems as I said in the work section jobs I'm interested in keep saying they need you to lift a certain amount of weight.

I think it’s usually 30 pounds, sometimes 50, rarely 75.

Most people under 40 could lift 30 pounds pretty easily.

I really feel for you. I don't post much on here, but I read frequently. Every time you've talked about not being able to do something it seems like its because of your husband. From what you've written, it seems like you do all of the work and he doesn't lift a finger to help you with anything or take any of your feelings into consideration. Why do you put up with that? Why do you want to live with someone who essentially treats you like a servant? You deserve SO much better hun. He's holding you back from job oppertunities, going places and experiencing new things because you're stuck taking care of him and putting up with his "wonderful" sounding family who don't do jack s**t either. It really sounds like he uses you. I'd seriously consider leaving him. I'm sorry if this comes off sounding mean because that isn't my intention at all.

Actually it's my family that treats us so bad. And he at least cleans a bit. But other than that...

Actually I'm gonna change this. My husband is truly disabled. He does what he can to help out. And he never verbally/physically abuses me.

The problem is my uncle and how the rest of my family backs him for some reason. He's done some rotten things, like especially when his mother sustained head injuries in a car accident. He got credit cards and loans in her name, took over her social security money, stole her pain pills, took her property, even cashed out her life insurance and she wasn't buried like she wished, she was cremated. And recently he took out a bunch of payday loans and tried to get away with not paying them back. And toward me he promises so much and let's me down or says he needs money for something and it turns out later he just pocketed it. Plus he's verbally abusive when I go against him in any way. And for some reason many members of my family back/believe him, even if in my mind he has clearly done wrong.

Sorry but this sounds like a toxic relationship especially if he's keeping you from seeing friends - the typical abusive behavior is keeping your partner from seeing friends and family... Usually because friends and family can convince the abused to leave their abuser. This is exactly what your husband is doing and for that very reason too, think about that for a minute... And if several people tell you that a relationship is toxic they're usually right (in my experience of being in toxic relationships and in one of those relationships that man had problems just like your husband with his hospital visits which made me excuse his behavior for too long) because they see things from outside while you might be romanticizing things in order to protect your own feelings or some other reason.

Your husband sounds like he lacks respect for you and you're doing so much for him but he doesn't seem to do anything to make you happy. Where is the balance? He is using you.
You should do what you can to put an end to this, go talk to your friends and ignore your husband you are your own person and an adult he cannot control you and tell you what and what not to do. Or try couples therapy although I suspect he might be opposed to that as most abusive partners are since a therapist just like friends or family would make you realize what he's doing to you. Look out for the warning signs. If you see no chance of change from his side then try to get a divorce you shouldn't be stuck in a situation which makes you unhappy. Best of luck to you.

You're not understanding, my husband doesn't keep me from family, in fact it's my family being toxic. And other members of my family and my friends don't tell us to break up. We moved away from my friends to live with my uncle. We even used to go to couples therapy not long ago. When we lived in the other town, my husband used to be more independent because he used to go places on the dial a ride busses. Now I have to drive him places from this small town my uncle convinced me to live in. I was complaining about my husband earlier because he doesn't see the reason to go back to the town where we used to live where we were away from my more toxic relatives.