Since when?

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I'm getting very anxious about some friends that want me to be their roommate. Not too many people are at all close to me but they're basically the top of that list. Yet they've definitely not treated like they would an NT.

I have to let them know I'm on the fence about this because I don't feel accepted. I feel very excluded socially & ignored emotionally. Basically all the usual ASD stuff.

I need to resolve this ASAP because I make way too much money to keep living at home & this would keep me closer to people I care about.

Here I thought I would always be rejected by everyone, I got used to it & now they blindside me. I have no idea what changed, only that somehow I'm a bit more accepted than I was before.

Everyone is paranoid about me because I'm different but they still want to be my friend?

I want to do this but it has to be all about improving relationships, not being typecast as some creepy hacker in the corner.

I have to have this same entire conversation in real life with a female friend who seems intent on speaking for another female friend. That's enough to make my brain melt. I'm just going to tell them that we have to either all get over my stupid disability or I can't do anything.

For now I'm stuck at work with my machines wishing I could talk to people at all.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

So you see.....now you see the futility in accentuating the negative.

Nobody has ever wanted to "move in" with me----except some girlfriends.

I guess....contrary to previous impressions....that you're well liked.

I suppose I need to know there's some chance of being a stronger presence in everyone's lives because I've invested in being around. Maybe my social standing is at least a little better than I was thinking but I would feel dishonest if I didn't express all this before making a decision. My brain always tells me to stay away from people who don't understand me but maybe despite some ongoing drama, they still want to.

Ultimately unless I can be in regular contact with ALL my friends I'm very nervous about this. I know someone very important to me has labeled me as too autistic or something so I'm hoping this shows we're not so different considering we're all friends (her & possible roommates both).

Every time I'm shaken off, I assume no one wants anything to do with me for reasons unknown because I lack the social skills to know why.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

It has often happened to me that the things I've decided will never happen to me suddenly happen. It's sort of annoying in a way. I've put all this time and energy into adjusting to life without something. Then it pops up. And now I have to adjust to getting it.

I hope it works out for you.

It sounds as if you want certainty about an ambiguous situation. That's exactly how Aspies think, but exactly how reality doesn't work.

You seem to think it's about time you moved away from home, and here's an opportunity. Take it. Expect you are entering the unknown, but you can probably figure it out in time. It might be a good long time before you have another better chance.

Yeah I am oh so extremely confused right now. My home life is terrible anyway. My family expects seriously extreme effort from me constantly.

For another thing, I don't have anywhere else to go & this also depends on me keeping my job after what I hope will be a promotion.

I guess I would have to leave my cat at home, my friend's already got a territorial little one.

I hope this gives everyone time to reacquaint with me if it works out.

I'm more concerned about seeing everyone more than I am about where I live though. I could use some software engineering motivation today.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

cberg, u are not merely accepted, u are liked. by more people than u account for. and this is a direct proof. yes, i perfectly know how it feels. just believing something, that seems to good to be true. i made leaps of faith before, and sometimes i missed. but sometimes i didnt. tho u do need to discuss all the little details on the shore, such as ur smoking habits and how u share chores. but that is technicality. world is full of people, and some of those people need u in their lives. and the longer u hide, the harder it gets to believe this simple truth. open up.

I'm not sure if I've ever been more nervous in my life.

Hopefully I get to talk over some of this today. I might help some other friends move though.

I have no idea what I'm doing.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

doing what u really owe urself

I guess I hadn't thought of it that way. I'm really not used to having enough money at all. Before this job my work life was really demeaning & a lot more chaotic. I need to start talking about what to do next with my bosses soon.

I'm slowly realizing how depersonalized I've been as a result of career pressures from my parents & clientele.

The last few years for me were disasters. My physical health is only now bouncing back from ages spent at a laptop without being appropriately paid.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

its good that u are recovering)))) come hang out with us some day ^^

I can certainly see how scary this could be. I think you're rising to the challenge. I hope you'll keep telling us how it goes.

I moved my neighbors out of their apartment earlier just for the workout (they're also good friends of mine). I'm also buying a new *used* mountain bike to go with my little dirt jumping one.

Maybe adrenaline is the answer...

More likely I have no idea about whatever.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

if u are feeling better, than u definitely have an idea) just stop doubting urself. improving ur life is what u need, deserve and own urself

I guess there's not much margin for self-doubt for me anyways considering how many things that might have killed me simply didn't. That could also be a dangerous precedent to accept without reservations.

The weird thing is that although I'm scared, I'm less scared than I was about total uncertainty.

I guess what I mean is who wants an answer when you could have a question?

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

sometimes we cant have an answer, and have to move on without it...
this song helps me, among other things, to get thru the phases like this