Everything is Horrible

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It seems like everything is going wrong for my recently, and it feels like there has been a curse on me due to how bad this stuff is happening all the bloody time.

I've been really stressed at college recently because of work, it is tough when you are a third year media student and having to film and plan and all of that. I have had trouble getting an actor into my film because the first one did some filming, then had to do her work, which I understood but she completely let me down when she was not present for the time she agreed to film on a later day. It also does not help when the teachers confuse me and also tell me stuff halfway through the work when it should have been said at the start, which is not great at all and it does not help me, it has all been tough work and I am hoping it can be easier

Home life has not really helped as well, it's been fine at home but my anxiety has not really helped, been worrying about stupid events around my local area like people getting mugged or stabbed close to home, and it is really scary for me, considering this crap happens around my community most times and it needs to end. I had an issue today when I lost some very good gameclips on my game console, and that pretty much broke me.

I had a meltdown in my room, punching my bed and squeezing my stress toy, and I am now currently really upset and have been crying as I have been typing this up. I am trying to cheer up by drawing and I will eventually shower and go to sleep but that will not help me escape from these issues. I might have to start seeing the councillor again as well, which I won't mind because she has helped me and I need multiple people to comfort me.

I want life to be easier on me, and I am hoping that can happen soon.....

yes, small stuff hits awfully when u are allready thin. when it all gangs up on u. there will be another morrow, and the problems will back off. i personally consider a day without meltdown a good one. not to mention that i broke my last stress toy xd I MEAN, what can i do to help u get up?)

Yes see a councillor if that helps. Maybe someday you can move somewhere safer where you dont have to worry about crime.

There are certainly days (or longer) when everything seems to go wrong. And at some point this results in tears and melt downs. I'm sorry you are going through that now and I'm glad you have posted here. Many of us have gone through the same things and feel for you. It does get better. I find a lot of rest helps me regain some equilibrium and perspective.

Okay, I am feeling somewhat better because I have managed to get loads of work completed in college which I am happy about, but it does not help me when I am struggling with someone, the teachers keep telling me that I will have trouble with the later projects with what I am struggling at the moment, I am not an expert at media, and I have done hard work before so saying that it's going to be even tougher is making me lose confidence for christ sake

It's been okay at home, although the weather has been horrible and having to walk home in the bloody rain with protection not even helping is like an extreme curse. I have been relaxing in my room, but I am going to stay off video games because getting mad is becoming a bad habit, had been controlling it but today it got too much to handle and I lost control, hitting myself several times in the process, I really regret doing that to myself, have stopped harming myself but there are sometimes where you lose control of yourself and it just suddenly happens....

I hope things will continue to get better for me, with more good and positive things happening, I hope starting up counselling again will help me too since it's good having someone to chat to and let out all of my frustrations....

it is not bad to feel anger and frustration. u are alive. and then ur neuro organization is like this, ya. we got thin lines all over. hitting urself might not be a best idea, though. i personally vent by demolishing game spaces. a lot of mobs, kill, repeat, till its bearable. dunno if that helps u, maybe try? take all of it to them, imagine its them that pissed u off. they wont feel anything, they are just pictures. but u might feel better, hope so.

I've been feeling better now since I started posting this, things have gotten better for me in college again which is really good but the other things that worry and stress me are still there, and they are tough obstacles to deal with in life, which unfortunately has happened to me. I have talked to the councillor at my college and hopefully I can start seeing her again....

It doesn't help me that I still have to deal with bad things happening around me and I also have no idea what to do with my life at the moment, since I finish off college next year and that will mean I have to find a job sooner or later. I also happened to stumble upon the aftermath of a very horrible incident happening right near my college, that stuff really scares me and I hope that it will never happen to me, more good stuff really needs to happen....

thank you for reporting improvement) then, u have time till graduation to decide, and to slowly get a bit more of upper hand with ur nerves. given that u are, after all, receiving education, so u are placed in the world, i would not worry about the next step just as of now. so just give urself an easy time as much u can. accidents can be very scary, especially when they happen close to ur habitat. talk thru that fear. maybe multiple times if needed. dont shove it down. then think which reasonable actions might be taken to decrease ur own chances of finding urself in a threatening situation. just make sure u, for urself, understand that all ur emotions are needed and valid. then work with them. not shutting them up, but more like well, reaching some sort of middle ground where u feel them, but they dont overwhelm. its a long thing to achieve, and needs external help (which u are getting). have it best!

A host of little things going wrong together can break the camel's back, causing us to have mini-meltdowns from time to time. Try too to avoid potentially unsafe situations where at all possible, there are ways to minimize exposure to dangerous situations.

I'm glad you are feeling better and wish you the best for what sounds like a potentially exciting and creatively rewarding career path. There will be obstacles and bad days but take small steps that don't overwhelm you.

Keep us updated on your progress.

Carry on seeing your counsellor.

I know the kind of weather you're referring to. Serpentari probably has to contend with even worse weather! Here where I am we are going into summer and it's only the strong gale force winds I detest.

OH PLEASE dont get me started xd this f-ing country has decent weather once upon a time. much like broken clock shows right time, ukno. some part of spring, some part of autumn. ya, i am so capricious xD i want to live where its allways 10-15 celsium, overcast and wind xD but thats a dream that not gonna come true xD SORRY FOR OFFTOP

Okay, have been seeing the councillor again and things have been going good, it's really great to get all of my frustrations off my chest and ask for help. It was helpful earlier in the year because it made me stop worrying about everything that I cannot control and made me remain positive. She has given me advice and help and I am going to try and use to the best of my ability, so that I will get better...

However, still being plagued with worries and other stupid stuff. Got really frustrated recently and ended up taking it out on myself leaving a massive bruise on my head, which was a stupid thing to do but i lost control and it just happened, so I am going to try and take things easy from now on. I am also having thoughts about my future because the new year starts soon and I finish up college next year as well, so I have no idea what to do with my life at the moment, having to grow up and get a job is tough stuff, and I am wondering how that will affect me....

I'm glad you're feeling better and letting us know how you are doing. Good thing to keep seeing your counselor and doing your studies. There will always be challenges; each one you face will make you stronger.

well u are making progress. self harm happens, and ya at least u didnt like it. maybe wont happen again. wishing u better, please update us)

An update, been feeling better lately because I have been taking my medication as usual along with going to see my councillor and getting help when I am feeling horrible, which is great because it is a huge step forward. College has been easier since I finished up all of my work and am now doing some work experience so that is going okay.

I don't like that something really bad happened that felt like being broken in the inside. My uncle has been having health and breathing problems for sometime now, but he has been getting better so it came as a total surprise when my mum told me that he had an issue with his lungs and that he could be heading back into hospital and not be here much further, and that had devastated me because I am really close to him and the fact of losing close friends and family members makes me depressed. I am hoping that he can pull through this and get better, and hopefully a miracle too.

It's been okay getting better, but unfortunately horrible events are going to keep happening in my life considering that just happened and the fact I had another meltdown in college and went in the quiet room for an hour due to issues. I want to be more happy and have a better life, it's for the best.....

thank you for reporting in. happy to know u are improving) prefectly understanding ur distress for ur uncle, yes, it is indeed horrible, but well, life, sadly, does provide us with more challenge and less gift, than any of us would like. so ya bad, annoying and outright awful things can happen, and are even likely to happen, but getting over them is just what life is about. there are good things, too. ur studies are getting better, that is good, m? its easy to well, lose prespective and feel like nothing but awful is happening, while actually there are a lot of bright moments. just need to see them, and keep seing them. make them ur lantern to lit ur way in dark times. u getting better, is lighting my today. thank you.