Believe in Yourself or you need to believe in yourself more!

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cubedemon6073
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16 May 2022, 2:34 am

I forgot about this but I would like to simply recap:

I can have the skillset for a job, believe I can do the job, believe I'm the best qualified candidate but if I'm in front of the interviewer it is the interviewer and those who are authorized to say yes that makes the decision whether I have a job with any and all particular companies or not.

Let's say Fnord is both my interviewer and the person authorized to say yes. It is he who decides yay or nay. It is others like him who decide whether I will be employed or not whether I have the skillset, the right attitude, the belief in myself or whether I have none of these things.

I am employed in China. I'm employed because they chose to employ me. My credentials and my attitude may or may not play a factor. In the end, others make the choice no matter what my credentials and attitude are.



temp1234
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16 May 2022, 4:55 am

When you believe in yourself, you have hope and motivation, and end up making serious effort. With this mindset, you will behave in a way that will lead you to success. If you don't believe in yourself, you wouldn't even start feeling motivated to make effort.

Simply put, I think "believe in yourself" is an ideal inner attitude that you should have to increase the likelihood of success in whatever you want to achieve.

Of course, believing in yourself won't directly affect other people's decisions but will surely influence them indirectly. So I think it's a valid statement.



cubedemon6073
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16 May 2022, 7:50 pm

temp1234 wrote:
When you believe in yourself, you have hope and motivation, and end up making serious effort. With this mindset, you will behave in a way that will lead you to success. If you don't believe in yourself, you wouldn't even start feeling motivated to make effort.

Simply put, I think "believe in yourself" is an ideal inner attitude that you should have to increase the likelihood of success in whatever you want to achieve.

Of course, believing in yourself won't directly affect other people's decisions but will surely influence them indirectly. So I think it's a valid statement.


The thing is though is that hope and motivation must have a basis in logic and reason for it. And, if my effort and and behavior comes from hope and motivation and there is no logical basis for hope and motivation then there can't be a basis for the effort and behavior.

If A leads to B and B leads to C therefore A must lead to C. If A does not lead to B then the dominoes come down.

In the past, even the fear of homelessness would never give me the hope and motivation at all because in the past I saw it as a heads you lose tails you lose situation. In other words, why bother to try when trying would more then likely lead to the same result no matter what you did or didn't do?

In other words trying to change my attitude in the manner most people try to do it will bring nothing but resistance from me and I will call them on their lack of logic. On the other hand, present me a way forward using logic, reason and non-emotive language and I will gladly step onto the path you present.

And, guess what? My SO did that with having a job overseas, I stepped onto the path (Yeah, I was nervous) and I'm working now.

I'm not that complicated. I'm extremely a simple person. Don't make emotional appeals, state negative consequences if I don't do something or use emotional language like positive and negative (How we derive positive and negative from boolean and mathematical language is beyond me) and use reason and logic on how to proceed and why you think that would work. That's it!

And, then don't get upset if I reject your logic because I find a hole in it. Either modify your logic or accept that I could be correct even if I'm negative. My being negative is not equal to your reasoning be sound and valid or strong or cogent.



goldfish21
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21 May 2022, 10:45 am

cubedemon6073 wrote:
temp1234 wrote:
When you believe in yourself, you have hope and motivation, and end up making serious effort. With this mindset, you will behave in a way that will lead you to success. If you don't believe in yourself, you wouldn't even start feeling motivated to make effort.

Simply put, I think "believe in yourself" is an ideal inner attitude that you should have to increase the likelihood of success in whatever you want to achieve.

Of course, believing in yourself won't directly affect other people's decisions but will surely influence them indirectly. So I think it's a valid statement.


The thing is though is that hope and motivation must have a basis in logic and reason for it. And, if my effort and and behavior comes from hope and motivation and there is no logical basis for hope and motivation then there can't be a basis for the effort and behavior.

If A leads to B and B leads to C therefore A must lead to C. If A does not lead to B then the dominoes come down.

In the past, even the fear of homelessness would never give me the hope and motivation at all because in the past I saw it as a heads you lose tails you lose situation. In other words, why bother to try when trying would more then likely lead to the same result no matter what you did or didn't do?

In other words trying to change my attitude in the manner most people try to do it will bring nothing but resistance from me and I will call them on their lack of logic. On the other hand, present me a way forward using logic, reason and non-emotive language and I will gladly step onto the path you present.

And, guess what? My SO did that with having a job overseas, I stepped onto the path (Yeah, I was nervous) and I'm working now.

I'm not that complicated. I'm extremely a simple person. Don't make emotional appeals, state negative consequences if I don't do something or use emotional language like positive and negative (How we derive positive and negative from boolean and mathematical language is beyond me) and use reason and logic on how to proceed and why you think that would work. That's it!

And, then don't get upset if I reject your logic because I find a hole in it. Either modify your logic or accept that I could be correct even if I'm negative. My being negative is not equal to your reasoning be sound and valid or strong or cogent.


If you don’t try, there’s a 100% chance of failure. If you do try, there’s less than a 100% chance of failure -> better odds, regardless of how slim they may be.

Refusal to try is illogical. Justifying it with flawed perceptions filtered through very negative depressive thoughts is in fact your negativity not allowing you to see that choice is illogical.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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21 May 2022, 11:30 am

Plenty of precious lil "people" believe in themselves too much


"Believe in yourself" is correct but too ambiguous

Platitudes



cubedemon6073
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21 May 2022, 12:32 pm

Quote:
If you don’t try, there’s a 100% chance of failure. If you do try, there’s less than a 100% chance of failure -> better odds, regardless of how slim they may be.


Yet, while I was at college long ago I was able to obtain employment at my college's tech support without even trying to consciously seek it out. So, it seems like in spite of not trying to seek it out I still got it.

Quote:
Refusal to try is illogical.


Yet, trying to focus on changing my attitude instead of the things that lead to my attitude is logical? How does that make sense?

Quote:
Justifying it with flawed perceptions filtered through very negative depressive thoughts is in fact your negativity not allowing you to see that choice is illogical.



LOL! And, maybe I do have flawed perceptions. And, guess what? Like everyone else on this planet I'm not perfect. The thing is though changing my emotions in the matter most people want to do so does not work. I've been to therapists and I've been on medication(masks the symptoms).

If you wish to change my flawed perceptions all one has to do is use logic with me. If I'm wrong on something then show me where I'm wrong. If I'm missing an instruction then show me the missing instruction. Example: I didn't believe I could change lanes while driving and honestly I didn't believe I could drive. Turns out it wasn't my negative attitude but my missing an instruction.

And, another thing. I jump started my SO's car. I didn't think I could do it and in fact, I thought the battery would explode. Yet, when I chose to jump start the vehicle it worked in spite of my negative thoughts and attitude. So, how does thoughts affect reality again? My belief should've caused the battery to explode yet it did not. Why? Because, in spite of my negative attitude reality exists independently of my hopes, dreams and wishes.

Francis Bacon said "nature to be commanded must be obeyed."

You're dealing with logic boy.

https://www.familyeducation.com/life/as ... -logic-boy



kraftiekortie
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21 May 2022, 1:26 pm

You took it upon yourself to jumpstart the car. You TRIED. And you succeeded.

You didn’t say “I’m not mechanically inclined, so I have no chance to be able to jumpstart the car. What’s the use in TRYING?”

Same with most things in life. If you don’t TRY, you have no chance.



kraftiekortie
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23 May 2022, 8:47 am

I really don't get the problem with "believing in yourself."

That concept, in and of itself, is an excellent concept.

The problem could lie in how and why it is delivered to the recipient.



cubedemon6073
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23 May 2022, 9:54 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I really don't get the problem with "believing in yourself."

That concept, in and of itself, is an excellent concept.

The problem could lie in how and why it is delivered to the recipient.


Problems:

1. When it denies reality.

2. And, when the line is drawn from being a benefit to oneself to new age cult like thinking and it's doctrines is never open to question.



kraftiekortie
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23 May 2022, 10:20 am

I don't see too much reason why a person cannot "believe in his/herself."

My standard, really, is that a person is "worthy of belief" if the person doesn't do deliberate harm.

By some people's standards, I shouldn't "believe in myself" because I haven't had a professional career-----but screw those folks!



cubedemon6073
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23 May 2022, 10:24 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I don't see too much reason why a person cannot "believe in his/herself."

My standard, really, is that a person is "worthy of belief" if the person doesn't do deliberate harm.

By some people's standards, I shouldn't "believe in myself" because I haven't had a professional career-----but screw those folks!


I believe in myself for certain things but certain things no



shortfatbalduglyman
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23 May 2022, 10:29 am

cubedemon6073 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I really don't get the problem with "believing in yourself."

That concept, in and of itself, is an excellent concept.

The problem could lie in how and why it is delivered to the recipient.


Problems:

1. When it denies reality.

2. And, when the line is drawn from being a benefit to oneself to new age cult like thinking and it's doctrines is never open to question.

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There are plenty of things that you (singular) can't do. "Believing in yourself " won't change that. However, you "can" believe in yourself.

Semantics, pragmatics, linguistics, precision of language, literal misinterpretation.

When you believe that you could do something you don't have the potential to achieve, (sometimes) you waste time, cash and energy trying and failing to accomplish it

Sometimes it seems like almost everything I attempt to accomplish is like "you can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear"



kraftiekortie
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23 May 2022, 10:31 am

Same here.

I don't set ridiculous standards for myself. I know I can't run a marathon in under 5 hours these days. That doesn't mean I don't "believe in myself."

I'm only a clerk, even though I have a college degree. I still believe in myself.

My belief, truly, is that 99% of people are "viable" people; hence, they should "believe in themselves."

People on WP have the tendency not to "believe in themselves" because they have autism. Having autism has nothing to do with a person's worthiness, a person's right to "believe in his/her self."



ThisTimelessMoment
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23 May 2022, 12:55 pm

For me, not believing in myself came as a result of my upbringing. I interpreted the meaning of my parents attempts to bully me.into action as that I am not worthy or capable of anything. Dealing with this residue of the past has been (and still is) a long journey.
I now see that my relationship with myself is everything. Any relationship with anything else in this universe, people, job, life, is all dependant on that interaction with my own self. I had to get really honest about how totally f-ed up that relationship was first. I had to accept the past as it was and the decisions I made about myself then.
Once I could see clearly I could begin to learn new ways of thinking. Rewarding myself for the things I got right instead of berating myself for what went wrong. Accepting that there is and always will be plenty I cannot control. Being upset about that is such a totally illogical waste of time. If I'm blaming someone else for what isn't working in my life then most likely I need to look within myself.
I still have a long way to go, but I know the path. I'm not lost in darkness like before. I still fall down and when I do it's not pretty. But I know I can improve. I know I can get better at many things. Not everything, but many things.


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ezbzbfcg2
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23 May 2022, 1:16 pm

cubedemon6073 wrote:
I forgot about this but I would like to simply recap....

I'm employed because they chose to employ me. My credentials and my attitude may or may not play a factor. In the end, others make the choice no matter what my credentials and attitude are.


You're simply reiterating what I declared back in 2019:

ezbzbfcg2 wrote:
What does "believe in yourself" have to do with getting a job? Really. Getting a job is a game of chance and hoping for the best.


Now you finally get it. And you clearly didn't 'forget' about this thread if you yourself are bumping it after 3 years. Please, no games. In 2019, you wouldn't/couldn't accept the statement I laid before you. Don't get defensive....conceptualize.

I'm starting to realize I'm light years beyond most people. Even other "Aspies." Not to sound arrogant, because I never thought I was something special. But, you've finally come to the same conclusion as me, just three years later. You'll probably get defensive at this reply, BUT IT'S TRUE.



kraftiekortie
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23 May 2022, 1:55 pm

Superior people almost always don't believe they are superior.