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KT67
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23 Jun 2019, 2:47 pm

I have social anxiety.

And I have autism which means I get rejected a lot.

Every time I'm downvoted online, it subconsciously reminds me of the job interviews I failed. The friends I haven't met. The magazines that rejected me. The enemies I've made in life for being different. The other social media I've had to abandon.

Especially when it's my art work.

I put a lot into my art work and spend hours on it. I thought it was something I was talented at.

So yes, it seems petty to get upset over a single click of the mouse. Or on here, over the long silences. Or on Twitter how I joined for a whole week and nobody wanted to know.

It feels like nobody wants to know. And yes, it's easy to say 'build offline connections'. But they just patronise me. They like me because I fill a role which isn't me. I just want my art and my words to speak for themselves because that's closer to who I am inside :(


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Mountain Goat
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23 Jun 2019, 3:24 pm

I can relate to the same but with trains... I think "How can people not like my trains?" :D

But one thing I know.God made us all different. (Even if you believe we have evolved, we are still all different).

My advice? Keep being you and enjoying what you do. OK? And remember that YOU are tallented! Not everyone will appreciate what you do, and that's ok... It is fine. But don't stop what you do as if you didn't do it, then you may not bring joy to someone, and you yourself may not be able to display your tallent. You can be bringing joy to people who may be too shy to comment...

Look at my trains... I am not the best or greatest railway modeller. There are people far more tallented then me. But, many people do appreciate what I do as no one else quite has my modelling style.

Image


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SaveFerris
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23 Jun 2019, 3:26 pm

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Hypocrisy is the greatest luxury. Raise the double standard


The Grand Inquisitor
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23 Jun 2019, 6:10 pm

If you can't handle being downvoted, don't post on platforms where people can downvote you. You don't get to choose how others react to your posts.



yogiB1
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24 Jun 2019, 5:10 am

“Nobody truly interesting is universally liked.”

So what if people downvote you? Surely you don’t like every single person on the face of the planet right? You’re entitled to your opinion and they’re entitled to theirs. I think that all people of influence, good character, power, etc will always have someone who gives them the thumbs down. Could be because of envy, or because the subject is unappealing or goes agains how they might have been taught/brainwashed. You’ll have people who like you, always. Even mass murderers, who, one might think is universally hated, have fans. Plus there are always those people who just want to piss people off and make them feel bad even though they may not even dislike them. Some people have nothing better to do with their lives than to go around tearing people down.

I agree with above statements, keep doing what you’re doing. Nothing worth anything comes easy. You’re the only you, and you bring a uniqueness to the world that no one else can bring.


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kraftiekortie
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24 Jun 2019, 7:07 am

They’re just dickfaces on the Internet. Eff them!



EzraS
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24 Jun 2019, 10:06 am

I was on a forum that had a rep system. Pos and neg. And even though I had "rep power" in all the positive ones I got, I still lobbied hard to get the system removed, cause those neg reps (which were anonymous) hurt everyone's feelings.



SaveFerris
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24 Jun 2019, 10:13 am

^ Can you imagine the crap it would cause if WP had a rep system 8O ( apart from being negative :twisted: )


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IsabellaLinton
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24 Jun 2019, 10:28 am

I don't even know what a downvote is? I assume it's like a frown reaction on FB? If the downvotes really upset you, I'd suggest staying away from sites that offer such a feature. Otherwise, consider it constructive feedback. There will be downvotes throughout our lives whether we see them on a screen or not, and it's important to learn from them.



kraftiekortie
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24 Jun 2019, 10:30 am

Most people who "downvote" you don't really know you.

They're just doing it for the fun of it.



Trueno
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24 Jun 2019, 10:36 am

I've never even heard of downvotes before. I don't do much social media stuff. It sounds like a really stupid idea anyway.


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kraftiekortie
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24 Jun 2019, 10:37 am

It's Social Darwinist crap. Like those "reality shows."



Fnord
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24 Jun 2019, 2:52 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
If you can't handle being downvoted, don't post on platforms where people can downvote you. You don't get to choose how others react to your posts.
^Quoted for Truth^

Better yet, if you can't handle being downvoted, then don't post on any platforms where people can vote on what you post at all!


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EzraS
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24 Jun 2019, 9:10 pm

YouTube is the only place I frequent that has a thumbs up or down system.



KT67
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25 Jun 2019, 2:38 am

It's not just the sites with the upvotes and downvotes though. On other sites and irl I get ignored. When I go to the pub and try to talk to my friend he doesn't reply. When I go on here people don't reply. When I applied for jobs nobody wanted me (I applied for hundreds of jobs all over England and Scotland), when I was at school nobody wanted to sit next to me and I got bullied. I'm either something to downvote/laugh at or something to ignore.

Maybe I just have a tendency to focus on the negative and not trust the positive but it's more deep rooted than just upvotes and downvotes. Downvotes are just a symbol of how much society doesn't want me. And people say 'if nobody likes you there's probably a reason for that'.

I like the idea that it's just my art they dislike and that this is just a matter of taste. People have different artistic tastes. I'm trying to look at my pictures before I post them and see what I like and dislike about them then not take it too seriously when someone upvotes or downvotes, esp if they don't offer anything in the way of constructive feedback. That requires spending more time off social media, more time actually doing the art and thinking about it afterwards.

Mountain Goat, it's ridiculous that people don't like your trains :( I like them and I'm not even into trains - if you made that then it took a lot of talent and even I can see that.

I need to internalise self worth. I can do a bit of that by staying away from social media sometimes. But it's a deeper issue. I feel it when someone frowns at me or when someone irl doesn't reply to what I said or when my mother calls my work 'primitive' because she doesn't know all the words (it isn't a primitive style, it's a pop art/comic style). I think maybe self reflection on what I did well and what I did badly might help?

I'm not either suicidal or wanting to live in the desert away from people, I'm just desperate for someone who will appreciate me and socialise with me. Incredibly lonely. I didn't understand this feeling before SA, I didn't 'need' people, but now I need someone both for validation and so that I have a friend to talk to and bounce ideas off of.


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IstominFan
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25 Jun 2019, 11:30 am

I got downvoted on a tennis site I used to visit. Some of the things they said about the players, especially Nadal, were really nasty. They thought I was stupid for liking him. I don't visit that site anymore. I don't really care about what they thought of me particularly, but why bad rep a player who is obviously one of the best in the business and a nice guy? They called him "Piggy." I don't understand that at all!