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Sarahsmith
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23 Jul 2019, 3:33 pm

Im too high functiong to fit into the special needs programs around here. Too autistic to fit into a normal group of friends. Tried plenty of fish. There were no matches but one. And that one left me disappointed.

I just dont fit in anywhere. Dont have a sense of place.



funeralxempire
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23 Jul 2019, 8:33 pm

Sarahsmith wrote:
Im too high functiong to fit into the special needs programs around here. Too autistic to fit into a normal group of friends. Tried plenty of fish. There were no matches but one. And that one left me disappointed.

I just dont fit in anywhere. Dont have a sense of place.


Needing 'a place' doesn't mean you're destined to find one. Lots of us struggle with this. If you can't find or make a place you've got no real option but to adapt to the circumstances you do have.


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MindWithoutWalls
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23 Jul 2019, 9:27 pm

You sound like you're having an experience similar to mine. When I was growing up in the 1970s, they put me in a "special ed" class for part of a day, decided I was doing too well there to need it, and put me back into regular classes from then on, where I'd always struggled before. My performance was very uneven and unpredictable, so they decided I was just smart but lazy.

I also had trouble finding friends, but this got easier after I became an adult. There are lots of hobbies that involve a variety of types of gatherings, and many of the people in groups gathering around a hobby are odd balls to the rest of society in a variety of ways.

A great way to find a crowd where you can be safe and comfortable, if you choose to be social, is to explore these kinds of groups. Since pretty much everybody there is seen as weird by the rest of the world, even if only for having whatever hobby it is, folks tend to accept each other better and help each other out more. If a group is large enough, you can even try hanging out with one subgroup of friends or another, there being a more accessible pool of options if the first group doesn't work out.

Unlike school or work, in a social group gathering around a hobby, you're not stuck anywhere. You're allowed to leave if you want, or you can stay and just participate in the activities with a different bunch of people that you discover you get along with better. Also, lots of groups that have official organizations associated with their activities have strong policies against members being abusive in any way. The policies are in the organization's official rules.


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MjrMajorMajor
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23 Jul 2019, 10:48 pm

I can relate. The best advice I can think of is to persevere. Don't look for large groups, but seek out the individuals who will support and "click" with you. They are out there. :)