Arriving full circle empty

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It has been a looong loong time since I have visited this forum. Plenty has happened between my last post on 2013. I have been off and on Facebook for quite sometime and I've learned it ain't worth it no more, Facebook is the devil. I've had plenty of ups and downs, lost jobs. But now I have new job and new city - I moved from Iowa to Denver CO, I thought it would be a great adventure in a cosmopolitan city with more Aspies in and around the area, if not the least supposed neurotypical's who are less boring, more open and interesting. I have been here a year and so far none of those ideas have materialized or have been realized. The hard reality I found people are the same no matter where you go and I am stuck in the same predicaments as before: I am stuck, alone nobody but the crazies and the homeless to keep me company, every neurotypical I wish could hang out with finds something just so unappealing or distasteful about me. The Aspies I try to hang out with are the same recluses who do nothing and never venture out. My job is causing the same amount of stress in terms of workload and the pain of social awkwardness. Of course I am so busy I barely have the time to schedule time with a therapist, let alone keep my bills and the rest of my life in order living with ADHD. And I haven't learned my own sense of humor is so far noone else understands and it gets me in more trouble than its worth, a lesson I should have been smart enough to learn years ago. Its a bad habit I have to shake off. The only comfort in the middle of CO is Cannabis, the one exclusive thing I am so happy to have unfettered legal access is in the middle of social minefield I created for myself. It hasn't done anything to expand my social circle, it only works to medicate my anxiety and my asthma, if you can believe it and yes it does do that. I still marvel and wonder of people who seem to have license to break the social norms and rules. I still forget there are rules applied to noone but me. There have been a few times where I really wish I could go back to IA but I hate the state just the same. I used to know a nice group of people who meet in support sessions back in IA. but such meetings are scarce and remote here in CO to my surprise. I am not a great person, I'm decent, but I don't do dumb s**t and I am always doing more to be polite than I need to be, but I do that to make up for my rude sense of humor which comes out once and while like a case of the Tourettes. just had to type, I felt the urge and compulsion to do so. I just had to type, I felt the urge and compulsion to do so, I don't care how bad my grammar and punctuation is on this post.

I do the Tourettes thing too!

If you go hiking, you could run for your life from a mountain lion. That's exciting.

Pleased to me you.

He was around a few times circa 2015-2016, too.

I didn't start until 2014, and I saw his posts then.

Some of us on WP live here for what it's worth. I have similar problems despite knowing zillions of people & having lived in CO almost 20 years.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos