I don't want to minimize your feelings, MG. I know that it rents space in my head when I'm afraid that I've hurt someone I care for. What does help me is thinking about whether or not I did it intentionally. If I misspoke through carelessness, that can still be uncomfortable.
What I have very often found is that they ended up not being as offended as I first thought. I hope that is the case for you.
YOU are lovely too, don't forget that.
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Disagreeing with you doesn't mean I hate you, it just means we disagree.
Neurocognitive exam in May 2019, diagnosed with ASD, Asperger's type in June 2019.