Afraid to eat at Chinese place

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Sarahsmith
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07 Oct 2019, 2:38 pm

I used to eat there all the time when I was a teenager. Then I worked there for a while. It’s not like they were mean to me. Only once did the Chinese guy snap at me. But ever since I worked there I’ve stopped eating there. I worked at fast food joints before and stopped eating there for a while. But only for a few years. Then I would eat at the fast food places a lot. It’s like I’m too shy to talk to the Chinese lady at the counter. I’m terrified to eat at the Chinese place and I have no idea why. It just makes me uncomfortable. Im not afraid of Asian’s or something like that I just can’t eat there and I don’t know why. But I want Chinese food!



BTDT
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07 Oct 2019, 2:50 pm

How about ordering takeout?



Sarahsmith
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07 Oct 2019, 3:47 pm

I could try that but I’d rather eat at a restaurant. They don’t deliver.



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07 Oct 2019, 6:21 pm

Did you order the food as a teenager?

If so that is unusual to be afraid. Does the restaurant have any religious decorations?



kraftiekortie
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07 Oct 2019, 6:51 pm

They probably forgot about you, to tell you the truth.

Not for a bad reason----but for reasons of time.



Sarahsmith
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07 Oct 2019, 7:57 pm

When I worked there, there was a laughing buddah ornament and lucky cat ornament.

I do not think they have forgotten about me. Maybe my fear is because I was not myself when I worked for them and Im worried they will see me as my past self. Im embarrassed about my past. Its probably because I find them intimidating though.



kraftiekortie
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07 Oct 2019, 8:09 pm

I hope you go back, and order some moo chu pork for me :)

Seriously...you have the right to go, provided you are not disturbing some one else.



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08 Oct 2019, 2:45 am

Are there no other Chinese places in your town you could go to?

I'm not sure if anyone expects you to be like you were in the past. I mean most people are aware others tend to change some with time. Certainly I doubt they'd expect you as a woman to be like you were as a teenager. Who knows, maybe they'd be happy to see you again and see who you've become.


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Raphael F
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08 Oct 2019, 4:27 am

Have a drink or two first, for purposes of courage? Get a friend to go with you, for moral support?

Hopefully if you could contrive to do it once and kind of break the ice, it would be easier in future.

I also thought of going when it was so busy that they'd hardly have time to notice you, but you might not want to be there when it was as hectic as that.


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EzraS
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08 Oct 2019, 7:10 am

I would just eat in a different Chinese restaurant.



Raphael F
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08 Oct 2019, 7:59 am

Yeah, except it kind of sounds like this lady has a thing about this particular place. It is infinitely frustrating to be unable to give yourself permission to do something you would actually like to do. In my case this would come under the heading of either Autistic Inertia or else Pathological Demand Avoidance. In plain English we're talking about some kind of mental block, and those can be crippling and very demoralizing. Going to a different Chinese would feel like a defeat (though clearly it might satisfy an appetite for Chinese food), and of course the others may all be less good.


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08 Oct 2019, 8:37 am

How about just going in to have a small snack rather than a full meal when they aren't busy?



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08 Oct 2019, 9:15 am

I have had a similiar problem; I had trouble going to places I used to work at as a customer. I can't really understand why, it just... made me uncomfortable. Still does, but it's been so long since I worked in places where I still have to go so it doesn't cause me anxiety anymore.

Could you go to that restaurant and take food home with you? That migth be easier than eating there... or go with a friend and ask the friend to handle all the talking.



Sarahsmith
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08 Oct 2019, 12:35 pm

They have the best chinese food in town so I dont want to go to a different restaurant. If I had someone with me that might help. My cousin said she thought the guy that worked there was kind of scary. He is kind of hard core. Sometimes he gets mad and yells and probably curses in chinese. At least he has when I was around. But he has only done that a few times. Maybe this is just my paranoia.



Raphael F
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08 Oct 2019, 1:07 pm

Knew there would be a reason why this particular place mattered. It would have been rude of me to tell those who simply suggested going elsewhere might be an answer that they were stupid. They probably aren't, really.

Mental blocks get bigger over time, like a fungus or a cancer. So act SOON. Get yourself an accomplice, and nail this demon (and, hopefully, enjoy a good meal).

Good luck with your mission! The dopamine hit of the food, plus the elation at blasting that mental block into smithereens, will be a well-deserved reward for your courage.


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08 Oct 2019, 1:09 pm

I have a similar problem with the Taylor Swift concert next year. I'd like to go, but there is no way I'm going to handle the huge traffic jam leaving the football stadium and driving home after the concert.