Bad days are coming for me

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Highly_Autistic
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18 Sep 2019, 2:32 pm

In next weeks university starts and it will be hard for me. More responsibilities. I visited there once and i felt like a loser i dont know why. I suck at meeting new people so ill probably be alone there (0 friends). Public transport makes me nervous. Social anxiety and depression are serious problems. Aspergers syndrome is unbearable. With all these problems the life is hard to cope.



CubsBullsBears
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18 Sep 2019, 2:57 pm

At least you're aware ahead of time that some people aren't gonna be nice to you. Better than feeling over optimistic, only for people to, well, not understand your aspergers.

As far as friends go, try to hang out with people that won't make fun of you or whatever.


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18 Sep 2019, 3:01 pm

Difficult. Try it anyway as you may not know how things pan out until you give it a go. But is it an idea to let someone in the university know you may have difficulties?


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18 Sep 2019, 7:59 pm

You just need to get used to it. New experiences are terrifying to people with autism. But then when you get into routine it is just familiar and not all that bad. You dont need friends at university. Go for the courses.



Highly_Autistic
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21 Sep 2019, 10:01 am

Probably i chose hard mode when i was born

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MaxE
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21 Sep 2019, 10:19 am

Hi I skimmed your post history, and from that I believe I can assume you want to study Computer Engineering. I am curious, how did you determine you want to study that? If you aren't sure, perhaps there are government or corporate programs to help you decide if you really want to do it. Another important question to ask is where you would work after completing your degree, and what would your work duties consist of?

As for attending University, you shouldn't have to do much in person nowadays. You would probably have to attend some lectures in person, but I believe many lectures are posted on YouTube or other service these days, so you don't need to face all those people. I hope the lectures are being presented at a place you can get to easily. If you have to go live in another city, then you have a lot more to deal with, but I don't believe you indicated that is the case.


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Highly_Autistic
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22 Sep 2019, 4:59 am

MaxE wrote:
Hi I skimmed your post history, and from that I believe I can assume you want to study Computer Engineering. I am curious, how did you determine you want to study that? If you aren't sure, perhaps there are government or corporate programs to help you decide if you really want to do it. Another important question to ask is where you would work after completing your degree, and what would your work duties consist of?

As for attending University, you shouldn't have to do much in person nowadays. You would probably have to attend some lectures in person, but I believe many lectures are posted on YouTube or other service these days, so you don't need to face all those people. I hope the lectures are being presented at a place you can get to easily. If you have to go live in another city, then you have a lot more to deal with, but I don't believe you indicated that is the case.


Its my interest but i have difficulties in social life. I mean not having friends and zero social skills. Problem is i have aspergers syndrome and social anxiety. :(



Raphael F
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07 Oct 2019, 5:04 am

Highly_Autistic wrote:
Probably I chose hard mode when I was born

Image


You've hit the nail on the head with this comment! Alas, having selected that one, we're kind of stuck with it now. I've felt much better since I accepted that.

You have also displayed the kind of dark humour some Aspies specialize in, and that can be one way of making friends. NTs are intrigued by what they perceive as the quirky and individual Aspie mindset and the (to them) unpredictability of our remarks. There will always be someone, sooner or later, who can see something to like in you.


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07 Oct 2019, 8:15 am

Highly_Autistic wrote:
Probably i chose hard mode when i was born


OMG, OMG, yes. My NT husband says that when he's upset. But it's true. Many times what's easy for others is hard for me and vice versa. For the latter, that's the way to go, but one needs to manage expectations.

I had a very difficult time in University (got through) and like to think it would have been easier if I had addressed, accepted, accommodated my unusual non-study habits (thankfully most my professors did, but it was painful b/c I didn't "know myself"). Initially I loaded up my schedule, towards the end I lightened it. My neighbor is ASD and lightened it from the start. I think she's having a better experience than I did.

Looking back my University memories are mostly sensory and not social. I am at the onset of a diagnosis and personal acceptance, so honestly sometimes I am still embarrassed that I am not "like everyone else". If I were to "be myself" I would embrace my memories as they are (and experiences as I experienced them) and be content.

(I didn't read all the posts, but I take it that the University doesn't have ASD support or it is otherwise limited.) Wishing you find what can "lighten" up the experience for you, even a touch. I would like that you have stressful but good days coming, that the bad days are fewer or otherwise manageable.



Lely
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10 Oct 2019, 2:58 am

Highly_Autistic wrote:
In next weeks university starts and it will be hard for me. More responsibilities. I visited there once and i felt like a loser i dont know why. I suck at meeting new people so ill probably be alone there (0 friends). Public transport makes me nervous. Social anxiety and depression are serious problems. Aspergers syndrome is unbearable. With all these problems the life is hard to cope.

Do you think it would be worse than school?
You will have more free time and have to spend less time with other people.
It was much better than school or work.