sly279 wrote:
Only reply if yes.
I’m still learning who isn’t my friend anymore due to political differences.
I think dragonsandemons is.
Isabella is but not here anymore.
Hi Sly,
I have no issue with you personally or people who have strong political views antithetical to my own but I have an idea where all of this may be going south for you.
Experiential Invalidation...
I am going to "sew the seam" first. These are
thought exercises... not at all my opinions about you!
What I see in your posts and responses is not a political opinion but an invalidation of the experiences of others.
For example, if you post that racism should not be discussed because it divides us, someone might call you a racist.
How do you feel when someone calls you that?
How would you feel when an NT says "Just act normal!"?
How would you feel if someone says that you are cruel?
You would feel upset that someone did not understand or care to understand you experience. You become "triggered", maybe even angry and melt like a "snowflake"
To which those people might say to you "Stop being so PC!"
If they call you a racist and you feel you are not... that invalidates your feelings.
If they tell you to act normal and you cannot, that invalidates your experience of being on the spectrum
If they tell you that you are cruel, that invalidates your experience of caring.
The seam has been sewn, lets turn the wrong side in and the right side out.If you say racism is not an issue, you are invalidating the experience of people of color.
If you call someone PC, you are invalidating their ability to think for their own and have their own passion for justice.
If you label people as "leftists" you are invalidating the many reasons they may have views different from yours.
This is not politics, it is invalidation. We all have this feeling of invalidation here... it is
EXACTLY what makes being ASD so painful and difficult.
Lots of us here are passionate about these issues because we live with our own version of invalidation every day. We are people of color or have loved ones who are.
I have a dear friend who is a young black man. He has told me what happens to him on a daily basis. I cannot understand this from his perspective but my own. If I say... "just relax man, it is no biggie!", I invalidate his experience because I am a white guy who isn't pulled over by the cops all of the time.
My experience is worrying that he will be killed by the police. It invalidates my experience with race when someone says to stop talking about it.
My wife is Vietnamese. People tell her to "Go Home". She is a proud American because her family was welcomed by our country. When I hear people poo-poo her experience of racism and difficulty (she is also ASD!) I get very upset. Is that being a PC snowflake? If it is... then I am those things.
Politics are fine.... there are plenty of conservatives and liberals and everything in between here. Unfortunately during this difficult time experiential invalidation is masquerading as politics.
Maybe you have a right wing view of how to help people of color... but don't ever invalidate people who are discussing issues that matter to them by calling them leftists or PC. If people attack or invalidate you, don't invalidate them back... turn the other cheek and ignore it.
If you listen to me here, change the abrasive language, validate the views of others by listening and share your views respectfully... dang, I will be your friend in a heartbeat!
This is written in full compassion for you. I value you as a person and I know you are having a tough time. I hope this helps.