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Joined: 18 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,397
Location: California,USA

07 Jun 2021, 10:00 pm

Tomorrow I finally going get my apartment clean, two or more people going come & clean, I’m going wear a mask for the first time, I hope my nose won’t get itching. I hope they won’t do anything to upset me, like put stuff away in the wrong places, I don’t want them to touch some of my stuff. Why Aspergers people can have a hard time with stuff? When I have cleaning people before, some of them did things wrong, they blamed me, thinking they know. I wish I can do more things, like clean stuff without being in my wheelchair. I have sooooo much more pain in my feet & lower legs, the pain is near my ankles. With all my pain in my feet & lower legs, when I’m on my feet, that when I get pretty bad anxiety. I sooooo hate everything about me, I cannot do anything right. I soooo wish I was dead. I cannot do everything myself. The anniversary of my mom’s death is this month, she will be gone for 8 years, I wish she was here instead of my dad, I know that is wrong, but that how I feel, my mom was the BETTER parent. I still need her to take care of me, but I should take care of myself, I’m going to be 51 this year, I can feel & act like a 5 year old. I been sooo more emotional lately, I hate crying when I have my glasses on.

You are my shining star that shine so bright that guide me to the light, so keep on rockin', cuz That's Rock and Roll


Joined: 11 Aug 2015
Posts: 5,745

07 Jun 2021, 11:05 pm

Kitty I'm sorry you are having so much pain. Though it is upsetting to have strangers touching your things, it really is good to have the cleaning done. All of us, as we get older, we need to accept help for things we used to do on our own.

Hugs for you. Hope you have a good day tomorrow.

A finger in every pie.