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Sarahsmith
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30 Jul 2021, 2:05 pm

For a while there was a guy that seemed into me. He was perusing me. I got bad vibes from him sometimes but I was lonely so I let him into my life. I invited him over to my place after he bought me a few drinks. We got drunk and talked all night. Since I was drunk I gave him a nice jacket I had been saving for a male friend. We had good conversation all night, right up until I mentioned the horrible side effect of my antipsychotic medication is that I need a fibre laxative twice a day every day just to go number 2.
I thought since he was on the same type of medication and didn’t care at all that I was going to get fatter from my med, that he wouldn’t care about that horrible side effect. But when I told him he looked horrified and kind of grossed out. Yes I was drunk. And so after embarrassing myself like that, I embarrassed myself some more by asking for sex. He said he didn’t feel up to it and said he should go. I said “ I’m sorry it’s just that you messaged me and told me that you wanted someone in your life and liked talking to me and...” “I don’t mind being single right now.” He said. Then he took the jacket and left. Before leaving he also said he’d hug me but his beard would get in the way, which I thought was weird. Anyway I guess if I want to play the dating game, I got to be careful what I tell them. And the way I said it when I was drunk... I made it out to be worse than it was. But I couldn’t correct myself because I was loaded. Also I don’t think he cared about me too much in the first place if he rejected me because of that. He didn’t love me in other words.



Last edited by Sarahsmith on 30 Jul 2021, 2:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Mountain Goat
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30 Jul 2021, 2:12 pm

Awww. Did you scare him away? Sometimes it takes time to love. Probably getting drunk is not a good idea, but it happened.

Don't worry. Apologize to him for being too forward while drunk. He will understand and if he is a good one he will get back to you. If not then don't worry.



Sarahsmith
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30 Jul 2021, 2:19 pm

I also did the push pull thing with him by telling him to piss off basically and leave me alone when he was pursuing me. I did that a few times. And always apologized afterwards. He might be getting revenge because I think we almost had an intuitive psychic connection. And it’s like he knew I didn’t like how he grew his beard out, or that I was uncomfortable with bringing him over because I met him at the rooming house I previously lived. Even though I didn’t say anything about those things. I don’t care for revenge but I want my jacket back!!



Mountain Goat
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30 Jul 2021, 2:25 pm

But you gave it as a gift?



Sarahsmith
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30 Jul 2021, 2:39 pm

Well yeah but I meant to give it to someone else. It’s just I was drunk and we were getting along so great. At first.



Mountain Goat
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30 Jul 2021, 3:14 pm

Whos fault was it that you were drunk?



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30 Jul 2021, 3:36 pm

Sarahsmith wrote:
I also did the push pull thing with him by telling him to piss off basically and leave me alone when he was pursuing me. I did that a few times. And always apologized afterwards. He might be getting revenge because I think we almost had an intuitive psychic connection. And it’s like he knew I didn’t like how he grew his beard out, or that I was uncomfortable with bringing him over because I met him at the rooming house I previously lived. Even though I didn’t say anything about those things. I don’t care for revenge but I want my jacket back!!


Well I mean it could also be they just don't want to get too serious with you due to those behaviors. I mean generally people don't like it when you push them away.

Also, probably best he didn't have sex with you, if you were that drunk...you may have regretted that like having given the jacket, which wouldn't have been good for either of you. May just not be a good match. Idk what to do about the jacket though...you did give it as a gift and taking back gifts is well not something people see in a good light. You could ask for it back and explain you were really drunk and not thinking, but idk if they are obligated to give it back or if they'd be upset about it.

Sorry you had a bad experience but, there will be other guys if he's not interested.


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idntonkw
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30 Jul 2021, 11:39 pm

Sarahsmith wrote:
For a while there was a guy that seemed into me. He was perusing me. I got bad vibes from him sometimes but I was lonely so I let him into my life. I invited him over to my place after he bought me a few drinks. We got drunk and talked all night. Since I was drunk I gave him a nice jacket I had been saving for a male friend. We had good conversation all night, right up until I mentioned the horrible side effect of my antipsychotic medication is that I need a fibre laxative twice a day every day just to go number 2.
I thought since he was on the same type of medication and didn’t care at all that I was going to get fatter from my med, that he wouldn’t care about that horrible side effect. But when I told him he looked horrified and kind of grossed out. Yes I was drunk. And so after embarrassing myself like that, I embarrassed myself some more by asking for sex. He said he didn’t feel up to it and said he should go. I said “ I’m sorry it’s just that you messaged me and told me that you wanted someone in your life and liked talking to me and...” “I don’t mind being single right now.” He said. Then he took the jacket and left. Before leaving he also said he’d hug me but his beard would get in the way, which I thought was weird. Anyway I guess if I want to play the dating game, I got to be careful what I tell them. And the way I said it when I was drunk... I made it out to be worse than it was. But I couldn’t correct myself because I was loaded. Also I don’t think he cared about me too much in the first place if he rejected me because of that. He didn’t love me in other words.


You were ready for sex, but he wasn't. It's his issue - you can't control it. There are many aspects to someone's decision to have sex or not being risk of STDs, sexual experience, libido, personal boundaries, mood, timing, etc. It sounds like it wasn't a perfect day, but there were successful and enjoyable aspects to it. Don't be embarassed about asking for sex - it sounds like a totally appropriate time to ask for sex since you spent time in private and had intimate conversations. You asked, he said no. You can't predict what he thinks or control it. Maybe if it was some other day of the week, he would say yes.



Sarahsmith
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02 Aug 2021, 12:01 pm

Update: I later came to realize this guy was trouble. We were hanging out at the park and he was smoking pot. He was pressuring me to smoke it too and saying things every once in a while that sounded like emotional/ psychological abuse and boarder line threats. This type of behaviour reminded me of when a different guy abused me in that same way. I outright told him he scared me sometimes with the things he said and left to visit an old friend. When I told him the situation he looked worried and said without hesitation that I should stay away from that guy. We talked all night and drank a bit but I didn’t get drunk with him. I’m glad I had someone to go to that night that I actually know.