no one wants me

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and sometimes I just want company

I don't understand

before myb labels peeps thought me quirks were cute
After labels no so m6ch

I have autism, schizophrenia,social anxiety and selective mutism

universe loaded it on to me didn't it well talk about a heavy load someone really wanted me to be alone but never gave me a fair chance to fight it

I hope you find some fitting company here on WP. There's others too here who have schizophrenia. You seem like a nice person so I hope you stay along.

I am sorry you are feeling unwanted. I have been before and it really sucks. Many hugs to you.

Life is a biatch, yes. <comfort>

just gets a bit lonely...

I know. It does ebb and flow and at the ebb one can feel pretty bad. This was mostly when I was younger. I am rarely, rarely lonely anymore. My life is full of many wonderful things. Is there negative stuff and things go wrong? Sure. But in the end, its the wonderful beautiful things that matter more.

You have friends in here. None of us are perfect, but just chat away and we will chat back.

I will also talk, but I can be flaky sometimes.

Flaky? Bits of you fall off?

Bits of my ability to speak to people falling off. I mean I sometimes talk, then disappear for a while.

I think I get what you mean. Sometimes you can chat and other times you can't?

Yeah, pretty much. Anxiety is too much sometimes.

Ah. Ok. Makes sense.
I was given sheets of info and hints by my local autism team on dealing with anxiety. While some ideas were good, most of them I already did as I had taught myself. Deep breathing does not work for me. If anything it makes me think about breathing which makes things worse. The best thing for me is to withdraw and sit calm, or withdraw and divert my attention to do something else that I can relax with (E.g. model trains or something I like) so I am not thinking of whatever it was that caused me to be anxious. The problem is that this is fine if I can withdraw. But life is not always like that.

I don't like deep breathing either. I agree that keeping yourself occupied is an excellent way to avoid anxiety. Only problem is that anxiety sometimes makes me not feel like doing things.

I'll try to talk.