I'm worthless

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NO. NO. Not at all. TOTALLY WRONG enz. KEY WORD = selectively

You're putting the onus on him and his actions as the reason for his treatment. Your analogy implies the waiters are good people to everyone, and they'd naturally treat him the same and be good to him, too, if not for his behavior. The only reason they get hostile and change their demeanor, in your scenario, is because "he's just horrible" to them; you're saying he is instigating the hostility.

I'm saying the opposite. He's nice to the waiters like everyone else, but they choose to treat him like crap anyway. They're not like this with most people. The waiters are usually nice. It's not like everyone agrees these waiters are terrible. The waiters are nice to most, but subconsciously pick up on something when they interact with him and suddenly behave negatively toward him, despite his good behavior. In other words, bleak as it is, his actions have no bearing on his mistreatment. They choose to change course and abuse him. He behaves like any other polite customer, but isn't treated with the same kindness from them in return.

You totally missed the mark here.

nope, you got my analogy the wrong way around

Since when is self worth measured by whether or not women are attracted to someone?

LOL. Society can be horrible. Glad it's getting better for gay folks. But for all the problems gay folks have, count your blessings, this isn't one. You're lucky.

In fairness, absurd as it might sound, imagine being gay and absolutely NO MEN are interested in you. Even ugly and openly (non-closeted) gay men can't be bothered with you. It would indeed start to weigh on you.

I can get laid, but that’s about it. I mean, it’s quite a nice “it,” with many fwb over the years etc but exactly Zero gays I’ve ever been interested in have been interested in me. There are reasons and I know it; I’m autistic, not stupid. But yeah, tends to weigh on me some. So I can relate, sort of.